Trip to GA and Future Beyond
I've been thinking about more of my GA trip today. On the way to Costco with my grandma. A song came on, and even though the majority of it was rap and I wasn't really into the rap parts the chorus was beautiful female vocals. The lyrics were:
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming
I started crying a little bit because I can definitely see something beautiful coming from being in Ga. Ever since reading the 7 emotional steps of deployment i've had a huge weight lifted off me. It's normal to feel anxiety and sadness. It will be NORMAL for me to completely fall apart for a few weeks, but I also know i'm a survivor and I keep trucking through the sadness. I always have. I know i'll find something to keep my mind, something to take my mind off the pain. I know I will. I also read a lot of forums and blogs about deployment times. I'll be okay. I'll be sad and sometimes downright depressed, but i'll be okay.
I have Josie, and i'll be damned if she can't put a smile on my face even when i'm sad. The other day we just laid in bed and stared into each other eyes. I felt overwhelming Josie just watching her search my eyes and I her's. It was beautiful. I love every waking moment with that child and I can't believe she's going to be a year old!! Tomorrow at this exact time, i'll have given birth a year ago! It's ridiculous how fast time flies with a child.
I hope I see more of my friends, rekindle some of that friendship bonds while i'm in Ga. I've talked about living closer to them before in that past, and i'm sure in their mind not only is a year far the hell away, but it's also a little untangible. When was the last time I lived nearby? How many times have we discussed it but it just never happened.
Well, talking to Michael just now, I was like "so is this really happening? What if you don't get picked up for EDO?" He looked at me wide eyed and said "Ashley this is happening, and it's going to be fucking hard for a little while. I have a lot more on my tranfser that most don't. I have a master's. A 4 star admiral is signing my letter. I am going to look really good."
So I sat and took that in. I will be moving in close to a year. I will be away from Michael for almost a year. This IS happening. There is no turning back. This is life we are going for.
Which brings me to the future. Japan. It's 85% certain that we will have to take a tour overseas, and Japan looks the best on your paperwork. Which would be 3 years overseas. I told Michael I wanted to save up a lot of money when we go there because I want to bring each and every one of my friends over to Japan. I will be begging and pleading and basicaly just buying tickets left and right and telling people to just HOP on it! Or else feel my wrath! :)
All in all, i'm taking everything in. Getting used to these new shoes I will have to put on. Big Navy shoes! :) Maybe i'll find an easier transition within the Big Navy spouse community.
I’m coming home
I’m coming home
Tell the World I’m coming home
Let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
I know my kingdom awaits and they’ve forgiven my mistakes
I’m coming home, I’m coming home
Tell the World that I’m coming
I started crying a little bit because I can definitely see something beautiful coming from being in Ga. Ever since reading the 7 emotional steps of deployment i've had a huge weight lifted off me. It's normal to feel anxiety and sadness. It will be NORMAL for me to completely fall apart for a few weeks, but I also know i'm a survivor and I keep trucking through the sadness. I always have. I know i'll find something to keep my mind, something to take my mind off the pain. I know I will. I also read a lot of forums and blogs about deployment times. I'll be okay. I'll be sad and sometimes downright depressed, but i'll be okay.
I have Josie, and i'll be damned if she can't put a smile on my face even when i'm sad. The other day we just laid in bed and stared into each other eyes. I felt overwhelming Josie just watching her search my eyes and I her's. It was beautiful. I love every waking moment with that child and I can't believe she's going to be a year old!! Tomorrow at this exact time, i'll have given birth a year ago! It's ridiculous how fast time flies with a child.
I hope I see more of my friends, rekindle some of that friendship bonds while i'm in Ga. I've talked about living closer to them before in that past, and i'm sure in their mind not only is a year far the hell away, but it's also a little untangible. When was the last time I lived nearby? How many times have we discussed it but it just never happened.
Well, talking to Michael just now, I was like "so is this really happening? What if you don't get picked up for EDO?" He looked at me wide eyed and said "Ashley this is happening, and it's going to be fucking hard for a little while. I have a lot more on my tranfser that most don't. I have a master's. A 4 star admiral is signing my letter. I am going to look really good."
So I sat and took that in. I will be moving in close to a year. I will be away from Michael for almost a year. This IS happening. There is no turning back. This is life we are going for.
Which brings me to the future. Japan. It's 85% certain that we will have to take a tour overseas, and Japan looks the best on your paperwork. Which would be 3 years overseas. I told Michael I wanted to save up a lot of money when we go there because I want to bring each and every one of my friends over to Japan. I will be begging and pleading and basicaly just buying tickets left and right and telling people to just HOP on it! Or else feel my wrath! :)
All in all, i'm taking everything in. Getting used to these new shoes I will have to put on. Big Navy shoes! :) Maybe i'll find an easier transition within the Big Navy spouse community.