Of closed doors, thunderstorms and happily ever afters
Title: Of closed doors, thunderstorms and happily ever afters
Pairing: Chunji/Niel
Rating: PG-13
Lenght: Oneshot, 2,131
Summary: For the first time in 7 years there's a thunderstorm raging through the streets of Seoul...
A/N: Dedicated and beta-ed by the great kiccy (yeah guys boo me all you want )~
Of Closed Doors, Thunderstorms and Happily Ever Afters
It’s on days like this- when he can hear the quiet drumming of the rain- that he promises himself galaxies and thrones and eternal beauty. Behind the ever closed doors he only hears, but he sees almost nothing. And yet when the time comes, he knows that dreams will turn into reality, hate into love, and all restrictions and limits will fall.
He waits and waits and waits- ‘till forever comes knocking on the door.
Hushed whispers and pale moonlight are his usual companions as they sneak through walls, floors, shut windows. He has long forgotten the past, but he longs for the future. He longs for days under a clear blue sky, laughter that gets lost in the distance and smiles that engrave themselves into closed hearts.
He waits and waits and waits- until he forgets everything and gets forgotten by everyone.
He doesn’t feel anything - hunger, thirst, pain. Maybe it’s for the better, because the worst has yet to come. He stares at broken mirrors and empty cupboards- what he sees is dust, spider-webs and the shadows of something that was once there.
He waits and waits and waits- until when- nobody knows.
‡‡‡
Daniel laughs once again.
He’s standing under a clear blue sky, and he’s met with smiles worth millions every day. He dreams of loneliness and stillness and people that were never there.
Every smile is a torture, every laugh a poison, and the sky is his own personal cage. He wants to escape to a world much simpler than his own- where there are no lies and no deception- where there’s no need to be somebody you never were. Because he’s tired- of judging, of calculating everything.
He’s tired- because every time he gives his trust away he fears. He fears that what has once happened shall happen again. He’s already lost sense of time- every day passes like a blur- of red, green, lime, pink, black, pale yellow.
He’s never alone. He hasn’t felt hunger, thirst. He has never felt the need for anything. Like a bird stuck in a golden cage- he’s refused only one thing- freedom.
And that’s what he wants the most.
So when one day he gets a single chance, he takes it. It’s easy to escape- easier than he though anyways. It takes just one accident and a second of realization, and he’s gone.
Gone forever. Those words please him more than the most luxurious chocolate, and they have the same bitter-sweet taste too. But we all know that in the end the one thing that stays on your tongue isn’t the sweetness.
He feels the wind rushing through his locks, and he looks up at the sky. He’s afraid, lost, and he feels the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
For the first time in his life he’s getting what he truly wants.
But like every child with a new toy, he gets tired of it soon. The beating of his heart has slowed down, and now he’s left with the exhaustion. He doesn’t know where to go or what to do.
Daniel has never though freedom would be this complicated.
The sad truth is he has never thought about anything.
But he still runs through shady alleys and abandoned playgrounds- he runs until he can’t feel his feet, and until his breath gets lost somewhere along the way.
He doesn’t turn back even once. He’s already addicted to the way these actions take tolls on his body.
The world around him is a blur, a kaleidoscope of colors and moving figures, and he feels like jumping and screaming and flying away to the places he has dreamed about- once upon a time.
He reaches out his hands, and looks, studies, wishes.
Bottomless seas and restless laughter, burning heat and a call- coming from far, far away. Those are his only guide marks as he continues.
‡‡‡
Between rattling glass and rotten wood, between forgotten promises and far-away threats, a streak of fading sunlight manages to make its way inside. He slowly outstretches his hand towards it, and imagines that he’s burning. He’s burning and dying, and he’s being brought to life again between ashes of past lives and sad smiles. He imagines bathing in fire and light and stardust. In the end he imagines a robe of never-ending darkness that consumes him. And then he wakes up.
He waits and waits and waits- until the Phoenix himself comes and fulfills his delusions.
His fingers ghost across dust and webs and places, known yet forgotten for decades. The smile never leaves his lips- if it is a smile, he can’t really tell- he just knows he needs hope- and somewhere between the cracks of memories that were never there- he knows that if there’s a smile then there’s hope. And that’s all he’s left with.
He waits and waits and waits- between darkness and light, death and life- that’s the only thing he can do.
He’s gorgeous. With skin pale and transparent- more fragile than the most expensive porcelain. Hair long, straight- glistening with hidden tears and hiding warm eyes. Fingers- delicate, yet scarred, and lips- dry yet more satisfying than the coldest water. He’s a true beauty hidden amongst run-down ruins and dreams of wealth that were never meant to be true.
He waits and waits and waits- even time does not touch him.
He yearns and yearns and yearns- for a thing too many.
‡‡‡
Daniel’s laughing, and maybe for the first time in many years he means it.
A fury of cars is passing close by, and he knows he’s getting closer. To what, who, why- those are irrelevant questions. He looks around him and spins, spins- like he’s on the edge, and falling is the best thing that can happen.
Something like this has taken place before, but he has buried it- deep, deep below, where it’s hard even for him to reach. Now he lets himself remember- maybe it’s the euphoric aura that surrounds him, or the buzz of the cicadas that comes from God knows where, but he feels reassured. That maybe this time it won’t be that painful.
He remembers a place, a person- from years ago. He remembers the one that taught him the real meanings of fairytales and happy endings and once upon a times. He remembers shinning eyes, as warm as the sunlight and as sweet as marshmallow-covered chocolate, lips- that are constantly smiling, and hair- short, fluffy and glistening with hidden laughs.
He remembers Chunji.
He remembers his best friend who went missing 7 years before.
Daniel knows that along with Chunji his secrets, dreams and trust went missing too. It’s stupid because even after all this time he feels somehow deceived. He doesn’t know anything about the accident that occurred years ago- on one night when the storm was too loud and the wind seemed to be wailing his name.
And just like that the rain joins the bitter tears that are falling down his cheeks.
“Niel”
From that day on every storm has reminded him of those times and those pet names. Of the way Chunji’s eyes crinkle when he smiles, and the way his lips curve when he laughs. But more than anything- of the way Chunji’s voice sounds when he’s crying.
Every drop that hits the ground- salty, bitter- brings another nightmare of what was and what could have been. And Daniel is scared by the millions of possibilities.
He’s already soaked to the bone when he hears the voice. Muted but still strong, and clear but somehow bland too. It’s just another delusion, but it’s the song- their song- and he thinks that he would give anything to hear it again.
‡‡‡
It’s the way the raindrops hit the tainted windows- it’s like they’re telling him a story only he can understand, and he gets wooed by all the once upon a times. For a moment he lets himself sink- in the rain, in past memories and ragged scars- in delusions and dreams threaded with reality. And he hears the melody calling out to him- he sees a different time. A time in which he knew the meaning of hope and happiness and smiles. A light seen only by him is illuminating his skinny, lithe body, and he sighs. Then he starts singing.
Chunji waits and waits and waits- he’s already forgotten who he’s waiting for, but he still remembers how to call out to him.
The words- now more quiet and serene mingle with the sounds of hurried footsteps from outside. He thinks he’s supposed to be happy, but like a million times before they just pass by without even stopping. He feels like screaming and breaking and just giving up. Except everything here is broken anyways. He stands up, and as his feet touch the stone-cold floor- he feels like he’s being prickled with a million needles, but he’s thankful- because even feeling something is like a blessing to him.
Chunji waits and waits and waits- giving up has never been an option.
So when he suddenly hears banging from the doors, the windows, the half-rotten wooden walls, he feels confused. It’s the first different sound he’s heard in years- and he feels like it’s coming from everywhere. So he lets himself scream- a word- that one word that has always been his protection spell for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t even know it’s meaning- no, the truth is that he knew- but it’s more easy to forget when you’re stuck in this cell of darkness, rats, and stench of blood and filth.
“Niel”
Chunji waits and waits and waits- he has waited for so long it’s hard for him to believe that everything’s finally over.
‡‡‡
Daniel thinks this world is going crazy.
There are no questions and no answers- there’s just the intoxicating sweetness of an old perfume, and the scraping of clothes that were once protection- now they only feel like a burden. But it doesn’t really matter, because Chunji is finally back where he belongs.
For 7 years he hasn’t seen him- he’s changed and yet he’s remained completely the same.
The way they fit against each -other- that’s one of the things that hasn’t changed. He doesn’t know where he starts and where Chunji ends. The harsh wind is blowing, tangling their hairs together, and Niel wouldn’t have it any other way.
The wind has taken away the storm too (maybe just for a little while).
Its only remains are on Chunji’s delicate eye-lashes, where hundreds, millions of drops seem to have nested their way. He knows he’s no different either.
And it’s in the way their hands move- it’s in the way they mold over familiar places that after so many years aren’t supposed to be familiar anymore. It’s in the way their eyes lock- both determined, both expressing an internal storm. And Niel knows that if Chunji’s the rain- then he’s the thunder.
It’s in the way their lips interlock for the first, millionth, last and second time- all at once.
The questions are there, hanging in the air, but the rain starts up once again, and washes them away- washes them away with all the worry and insecurities, and they seem to sink between the cracks of the asphalt that’s below his feet.
The air is static with hidden electricity, and it’s in the way their hands brush against each -others. There’s a spark, a second, a third, a fourth. They don’t know how to stop.
Suddenly Daniel- no, Niel- feels like he’s back to the days when storms mixed with sunshine, and created rainbows, when giving away his trust was an easy thing to do, and when there were (and there still are) smiles and laughs that engrave themselves into one’s heart.
“ Niel”
His voice is cracked, and filled with doubt and fear, but somewhere in between the impending doom there’s happiness, and that’s enough for him. He smiles- and it’s not fake. The storm-grey sky is no longer his cage, and it’s in the way he feels complete that he realizes one thing.
A true storm is filled with rain and thunder and wind, and there’s nothing that could possibly stop it.
‡‡‡
An image flashes over the charcoal black screen. It’s disordered and fuzzy. But that doesn’t really matter because nobody’s looking at the window of the electronics’ store.
People stare in wonder. The heat that surrounds them is surreal, and it can be felt in the way the air- vibrates. Flash after flash, drop after drop- but of course there isn’t a happily ever after without a rainbow.
“We report to you that for the first time in 7 years, Seoul’s having a true thunderstorm. This is a miracle that…”
Pairing: Chunji/Niel
Rating: PG-13
Lenght: Oneshot, 2,131
Summary: For the first time in 7 years there's a thunderstorm raging through the streets of Seoul...
A/N: Dedicated and beta-ed by the great kiccy (yeah guys boo me all you want )~
Of Closed Doors, Thunderstorms and Happily Ever Afters
It’s on days like this- when he can hear the quiet drumming of the rain- that he promises himself galaxies and thrones and eternal beauty. Behind the ever closed doors he only hears, but he sees almost nothing. And yet when the time comes, he knows that dreams will turn into reality, hate into love, and all restrictions and limits will fall.
He waits and waits and waits- ‘till forever comes knocking on the door.
Hushed whispers and pale moonlight are his usual companions as they sneak through walls, floors, shut windows. He has long forgotten the past, but he longs for the future. He longs for days under a clear blue sky, laughter that gets lost in the distance and smiles that engrave themselves into closed hearts.
He waits and waits and waits- until he forgets everything and gets forgotten by everyone.
He doesn’t feel anything - hunger, thirst, pain. Maybe it’s for the better, because the worst has yet to come. He stares at broken mirrors and empty cupboards- what he sees is dust, spider-webs and the shadows of something that was once there.
He waits and waits and waits- until when- nobody knows.
‡‡‡
Daniel laughs once again.
He’s standing under a clear blue sky, and he’s met with smiles worth millions every day. He dreams of loneliness and stillness and people that were never there.
Every smile is a torture, every laugh a poison, and the sky is his own personal cage. He wants to escape to a world much simpler than his own- where there are no lies and no deception- where there’s no need to be somebody you never were. Because he’s tired- of judging, of calculating everything.
He’s tired- because every time he gives his trust away he fears. He fears that what has once happened shall happen again. He’s already lost sense of time- every day passes like a blur- of red, green, lime, pink, black, pale yellow.
He’s never alone. He hasn’t felt hunger, thirst. He has never felt the need for anything. Like a bird stuck in a golden cage- he’s refused only one thing- freedom.
And that’s what he wants the most.
So when one day he gets a single chance, he takes it. It’s easy to escape- easier than he though anyways. It takes just one accident and a second of realization, and he’s gone.
Gone forever. Those words please him more than the most luxurious chocolate, and they have the same bitter-sweet taste too. But we all know that in the end the one thing that stays on your tongue isn’t the sweetness.
He feels the wind rushing through his locks, and he looks up at the sky. He’s afraid, lost, and he feels the adrenaline pumping through his veins.
For the first time in his life he’s getting what he truly wants.
But like every child with a new toy, he gets tired of it soon. The beating of his heart has slowed down, and now he’s left with the exhaustion. He doesn’t know where to go or what to do.
Daniel has never though freedom would be this complicated.
The sad truth is he has never thought about anything.
But he still runs through shady alleys and abandoned playgrounds- he runs until he can’t feel his feet, and until his breath gets lost somewhere along the way.
He doesn’t turn back even once. He’s already addicted to the way these actions take tolls on his body.
The world around him is a blur, a kaleidoscope of colors and moving figures, and he feels like jumping and screaming and flying away to the places he has dreamed about- once upon a time.
He reaches out his hands, and looks, studies, wishes.
Bottomless seas and restless laughter, burning heat and a call- coming from far, far away. Those are his only guide marks as he continues.
‡‡‡
Between rattling glass and rotten wood, between forgotten promises and far-away threats, a streak of fading sunlight manages to make its way inside. He slowly outstretches his hand towards it, and imagines that he’s burning. He’s burning and dying, and he’s being brought to life again between ashes of past lives and sad smiles. He imagines bathing in fire and light and stardust. In the end he imagines a robe of never-ending darkness that consumes him. And then he wakes up.
He waits and waits and waits- until the Phoenix himself comes and fulfills his delusions.
His fingers ghost across dust and webs and places, known yet forgotten for decades. The smile never leaves his lips- if it is a smile, he can’t really tell- he just knows he needs hope- and somewhere between the cracks of memories that were never there- he knows that if there’s a smile then there’s hope. And that’s all he’s left with.
He waits and waits and waits- between darkness and light, death and life- that’s the only thing he can do.
He’s gorgeous. With skin pale and transparent- more fragile than the most expensive porcelain. Hair long, straight- glistening with hidden tears and hiding warm eyes. Fingers- delicate, yet scarred, and lips- dry yet more satisfying than the coldest water. He’s a true beauty hidden amongst run-down ruins and dreams of wealth that were never meant to be true.
He waits and waits and waits- even time does not touch him.
He yearns and yearns and yearns- for a thing too many.
‡‡‡
Daniel’s laughing, and maybe for the first time in many years he means it.
A fury of cars is passing close by, and he knows he’s getting closer. To what, who, why- those are irrelevant questions. He looks around him and spins, spins- like he’s on the edge, and falling is the best thing that can happen.
Something like this has taken place before, but he has buried it- deep, deep below, where it’s hard even for him to reach. Now he lets himself remember- maybe it’s the euphoric aura that surrounds him, or the buzz of the cicadas that comes from God knows where, but he feels reassured. That maybe this time it won’t be that painful.
He remembers a place, a person- from years ago. He remembers the one that taught him the real meanings of fairytales and happy endings and once upon a times. He remembers shinning eyes, as warm as the sunlight and as sweet as marshmallow-covered chocolate, lips- that are constantly smiling, and hair- short, fluffy and glistening with hidden laughs.
He remembers Chunji.
He remembers his best friend who went missing 7 years before.
Daniel knows that along with Chunji his secrets, dreams and trust went missing too. It’s stupid because even after all this time he feels somehow deceived. He doesn’t know anything about the accident that occurred years ago- on one night when the storm was too loud and the wind seemed to be wailing his name.
And just like that the rain joins the bitter tears that are falling down his cheeks.
“Niel”
From that day on every storm has reminded him of those times and those pet names. Of the way Chunji’s eyes crinkle when he smiles, and the way his lips curve when he laughs. But more than anything- of the way Chunji’s voice sounds when he’s crying.
Every drop that hits the ground- salty, bitter- brings another nightmare of what was and what could have been. And Daniel is scared by the millions of possibilities.
He’s already soaked to the bone when he hears the voice. Muted but still strong, and clear but somehow bland too. It’s just another delusion, but it’s the song- their song- and he thinks that he would give anything to hear it again.
‡‡‡
It’s the way the raindrops hit the tainted windows- it’s like they’re telling him a story only he can understand, and he gets wooed by all the once upon a times. For a moment he lets himself sink- in the rain, in past memories and ragged scars- in delusions and dreams threaded with reality. And he hears the melody calling out to him- he sees a different time. A time in which he knew the meaning of hope and happiness and smiles. A light seen only by him is illuminating his skinny, lithe body, and he sighs. Then he starts singing.
Chunji waits and waits and waits- he’s already forgotten who he’s waiting for, but he still remembers how to call out to him.
The words- now more quiet and serene mingle with the sounds of hurried footsteps from outside. He thinks he’s supposed to be happy, but like a million times before they just pass by without even stopping. He feels like screaming and breaking and just giving up. Except everything here is broken anyways. He stands up, and as his feet touch the stone-cold floor- he feels like he’s being prickled with a million needles, but he’s thankful- because even feeling something is like a blessing to him.
Chunji waits and waits and waits- giving up has never been an option.
So when he suddenly hears banging from the doors, the windows, the half-rotten wooden walls, he feels confused. It’s the first different sound he’s heard in years- and he feels like it’s coming from everywhere. So he lets himself scream- a word- that one word that has always been his protection spell for as long as he can remember. He doesn’t even know it’s meaning- no, the truth is that he knew- but it’s more easy to forget when you’re stuck in this cell of darkness, rats, and stench of blood and filth.
“Niel”
Chunji waits and waits and waits- he has waited for so long it’s hard for him to believe that everything’s finally over.
‡‡‡
Daniel thinks this world is going crazy.
There are no questions and no answers- there’s just the intoxicating sweetness of an old perfume, and the scraping of clothes that were once protection- now they only feel like a burden. But it doesn’t really matter, because Chunji is finally back where he belongs.
For 7 years he hasn’t seen him- he’s changed and yet he’s remained completely the same.
The way they fit against each -other- that’s one of the things that hasn’t changed. He doesn’t know where he starts and where Chunji ends. The harsh wind is blowing, tangling their hairs together, and Niel wouldn’t have it any other way.
The wind has taken away the storm too (maybe just for a little while).
Its only remains are on Chunji’s delicate eye-lashes, where hundreds, millions of drops seem to have nested their way. He knows he’s no different either.
And it’s in the way their hands move- it’s in the way they mold over familiar places that after so many years aren’t supposed to be familiar anymore. It’s in the way their eyes lock- both determined, both expressing an internal storm. And Niel knows that if Chunji’s the rain- then he’s the thunder.
It’s in the way their lips interlock for the first, millionth, last and second time- all at once.
The questions are there, hanging in the air, but the rain starts up once again, and washes them away- washes them away with all the worry and insecurities, and they seem to sink between the cracks of the asphalt that’s below his feet.
The air is static with hidden electricity, and it’s in the way their hands brush against each -others. There’s a spark, a second, a third, a fourth. They don’t know how to stop.
Suddenly Daniel- no, Niel- feels like he’s back to the days when storms mixed with sunshine, and created rainbows, when giving away his trust was an easy thing to do, and when there were (and there still are) smiles and laughs that engrave themselves into one’s heart.
“ Niel”
His voice is cracked, and filled with doubt and fear, but somewhere in between the impending doom there’s happiness, and that’s enough for him. He smiles- and it’s not fake. The storm-grey sky is no longer his cage, and it’s in the way he feels complete that he realizes one thing.
A true storm is filled with rain and thunder and wind, and there’s nothing that could possibly stop it.
‡‡‡
An image flashes over the charcoal black screen. It’s disordered and fuzzy. But that doesn’t really matter because nobody’s looking at the window of the electronics’ store.
People stare in wonder. The heat that surrounds them is surreal, and it can be felt in the way the air- vibrates. Flash after flash, drop after drop- but of course there isn’t a happily ever after without a rainbow.
“We report to you that for the first time in 7 years, Seoul’s having a true thunderstorm. This is a miracle that…”