upside down...
Yeah, I know I haven't updated in awhile, but I've really had nothing to say. Everything's the same... school, work and girl scouts...
Actually, I lied... everything's not the same anymore...
My whole life has been turned upside down since my last entry. I can't say everything, but I seriously don't even know who the hell I am anymore. My priorities are all screwed up, I'm doing things I never EVER thought I would do, I'm an emotional reck all the time, I'm lying to my mother more and more because I can't tell her everything, my grades are dropping, people and things that used to mean the world to me hardly even come up in my thoughts anymore, I'm completely insensitive to so many things... I mean not everything has been necessarily bad, well, I still haven't decided whether it's good or bad yet. I'm so confused. I'm living two totally different lives anymore and it's beginning to be too much. I feel like I'm going to vomit just thinking about everything. In fact I did throw up earlier... at work. I know this sounds so odd and so woe as me, but I don't even fucking care if people think that anymore, I'm saying what I want to say. Everyone else does... so why can't I?
I have been reading everyone's journals every other day or so. Things don't seem to be going so hot with other people as well. I'm so sorry to all of those people and for all it's worth my heart goes out to them. I wish there was something I can do... but I can't. I can't fix people. I wish... but I can't.
Night.
Actually, I lied... everything's not the same anymore...
My whole life has been turned upside down since my last entry. I can't say everything, but I seriously don't even know who the hell I am anymore. My priorities are all screwed up, I'm doing things I never EVER thought I would do, I'm an emotional reck all the time, I'm lying to my mother more and more because I can't tell her everything, my grades are dropping, people and things that used to mean the world to me hardly even come up in my thoughts anymore, I'm completely insensitive to so many things... I mean not everything has been necessarily bad, well, I still haven't decided whether it's good or bad yet. I'm so confused. I'm living two totally different lives anymore and it's beginning to be too much. I feel like I'm going to vomit just thinking about everything. In fact I did throw up earlier... at work. I know this sounds so odd and so woe as me, but I don't even fucking care if people think that anymore, I'm saying what I want to say. Everyone else does... so why can't I?
I have been reading everyone's journals every other day or so. Things don't seem to be going so hot with other people as well. I'm so sorry to all of those people and for all it's worth my heart goes out to them. I wish there was something I can do... but I can't. I can't fix people. I wish... but I can't.
Night.