I'm Probably Insane..
but a big part of me wants to return to my gas station job. :/ It's probably because I still haven't adjusted to my better job, but I'm struggling with it.
What I do at the new job is place orders for medical devices. To determine whether or not I can SEND this stuff, I have to make sure it's okay with the customer/patient's insurance. That's the hard part. Sometimes I just don't understand what the hell I'm doing. It's only been a week, but making mistakes really bothers me, and I've made a LOT of them so far. It probably wouldn't be so bad if I weren't competing with another person in my training group for a spot on the "team" that doesn't take customer calls. She's doing better than I am. >.> And it's already been alluded to that I'm going to be taking calls.
The new people I work with are really nice. I guess I'm just still in "omgdontlookatmeignoremepretendyoucantseeme" mode. I really want to be good at this job, but I won't keep it if I'm miserable at it. I'll give it another week, but if I don't get any better at it.....I'll be going back to my other job. It sucks, because this new one definitely pays more...but there are problems.
First off, to work there I have to buy a sticker for my car that costs $50, or I'll be fined $100 every time the cops periodically check cars for stickers, because it's in a different city from where I live.
Second, they operate on a point system. They don't care WHY you miss, they just care THAT you missed. I'm not in the habit of missing work, but I do have doctors appointments still. I have one on Monday, that's going to be excused because my supervisor found a loophole, but she said I HAVE to push all my other appointments out 3 months, until the probationary period ends. Uhm. Maybe it's just me, but I feel like my continued health is more important. I could understand if these were just checkups, but they aren't. They're monitoring serious medical issues that could lead to further surgeries. I asked my supervisor if the absences would be excused if I had a doctors excuse...but no. They won't. So if I have to keep having these appointments, I'll be fired anyway. I've scheduled this next appointment as late in the afternoon as I could get it, and I plan working the morning and leaving at lunch, but no amount of negotiation is good enough.That's definitely making me want to give up even more. I know my gas station job was really crappy. It didn't pay well and I had to deal with a LOT of crap that NO ONE should have to deal with...but they were so much more lenient when it came to doctors appointments and surgeries.
Third, there's mandatory overtime. You can pick either 6am to 8pm on weekdays, or Saturdays. :/ I work my gas station job on weekends.
Fourth, I live an hour away from my new job, over two bridges. I'm really worried about winter, and I started in OCTOBER. My 90 days isn't up until JANUARY, in the height of bad weather season. So if I can't make it to work, I'll also be fired. -_-
Fifth, because I live in one city and work in another, I get TWO city taxes taken out of my check. Yeah.
Sixth and final, I have to navigate two spreadsheets and three databases per order. >_> I don't mind doing this, but they want you to make 70+ orders in an 8 hour day, and so far I can do....ELEVEN. >.< And not all of those are even CORRECT. D=
Half of me can't figure out why I took this job in the first place, the other half knows, but still thinks I made a mistake. Worst case scenario, at least I got a couple weeks of decent pay. I just don't know what to do, but I'll have a hell of a time figuring it out.
If I decide to go back to my gas station job, I have to decide soon because they're hiring new people. My manager there says she misses me, because no one else wants to actually work, but that doesn't mean she'll be able to not hire people on the off chance I return.
On top of this and everything else, my boyfriend sort of got an offer to go to his home state of Michigan and work. I was very excited for him and told him he should DEFINITELY go...but then he looked at me and said that he wasn't going without me....and I had to stop myself from blurting "Well, I'm NOT going!" because I won't. I hate cold weather as it is, and I live in a place where the coldest it has ever gotten is -7 degrees Fahrenheit. We do get icy dangerous conditions, but no where NEAR what Michigan gets. Michigan gets snow, like FEET of snow, and they get it EARLY and it STAYS. I love summer. I'm cold if it gets cooler that 75 degrees fahrenheit. NO WAY IN HELL WILL I EVER GO TO MICHIGAN. Plus, he'd be in a town close to Detroit, and I'm from smalltown USA....fuck some dangerous Detroit. So I told him to go and secure a place for us and then maybe I'd follow....but that's only because he's not going to do that. He'll go up there and work with his uncle and quit and then I'd be STUCK up there with no where to go or money to go anywhere with. So no thanks.