Trunie and Leto (it's Le-to not Let-o )
Turner sat in the restaurant across from Leto staring at the menu. The drive over there had been silent they both were digesting the earlier conversion. Now they where sitting in a Chinese place several stories up and he was gazing out the window so he wouldn’t stare at Leto.
But that’s what he wanted to stare he knew this was utterly retarded but he kept playing what he had said over and over how had he known that and why… why had he kissed him? Why had he even taken him home? So many questions no answers and the man who knew the answers was chain smoking and not saying anything.
He no long felt sacred that Leto had somehow figured him out only even more fascinated with him then he had been before.
“Tell me how you knew about me.” Turner placed his elbows on the table leaning his chin on his fists. Leto smiled slightly as he gnawed on the filter. “Ok … I can ‘read’ a person profile them for lack of a better term, I could tell you’ve been abused mentally and sexually I could see the mark of neglect on you as well.” “Why I picked the sexual abuse to pick on was purely me trying to run you off from getting close to me being as most of us are the most touchy about that kind of abuse.”
Turner frowned decided to leave the topic of Leto trying to run him off for later right now he wanted to know how Leto had figured him out. He leaned in closer. “But I mean what do I do that …tells you this about me?”
Leto tipped his head to the side. “Well you move carefully most of the time like you’re sacred of anyone touching you if you don’t want them on you I saw you at the zoo you gave the crowds a lot of space more space then is normal most people can handle someone on the street brushing against them you can’t.” Turner nodded thoughtfully.
“Ok…still I don’t think I get it…” Leto sighed. “Everyone tells you something in everything they do even the words they use to talk…. Like when you asked me why I was telling you things about me this shows that you believe telling someone personal things takes trust and denotes you are walled.”
Turner frowned. “But me being walled doesn’t…” Leto cut in. “But putting together the fact that you have boundary issues such as when you ignored Craig’s signs of indifference to you sexually seeing only what you wanted to see that kind of stunted selfishness often comes from someone who was never taught to care about others.”
Turner frowned. “You think I’m stunted?” Leto shrugged. “I am too.”
“And it’s the way your stunted that tells me a lot how it comes out namely an obsession with a man who could never want you that way it’s a defense to really falling in love with someone who might make you happy.”
Turner squirmed in his seat. Leto smiled grimly. “The most telling thing is simply how sacred you are of being hurt by anything again you’re in too much pain deep pain to take any more blows but the lure of thinking you can love makes you feel good about yourself so you pretend.”
“I know this all because I am this way I see what I am in you I know where it comes from in me and why and therefore…” He shrugged again. “It’s almost second nature to me at this point figuring out why others are as they are.”
Turner winkled his brow deep in thought it was then the waiter came over to them. “I’m having orange chicken he’s having shrimp with lobster sauce.” The waiter nodded and left before Turner had a chance to even open his mouth.
He fumed as he sunk lower in his chair. “Well you know what you are?” “You’re a know it all motherfuckering control freak who orders for others at lunch!” Leto stared at Turner for a minute then snorted a laugh out.
“I am.” He stubbed out his cigarette and lit up another. “Very much a know it all and very much a control freak.” Turner raised an eyebrow. “You’re ok with that?” Leto traced a finger over the table cloth. “It’s not about being ok… it’s more… I know I am always going to be broken in some ways I can’t save my mind I can only learn how to better mange my damage.”
Leto popped a noodle into his mouth dripping with duck sauce. “Who I am now is after years and years of obsession years of learning myself maybe that’s another reason why I can see into others so easily.”
“How do most people react to… this thing you can do?” Turner asked sipping his coke. “They run away from me or drop their defenses utterly at least the first stage of their defenses they’re so pleased I know things they don’t tell anyone so happy I am like them and they can trust me to understand they roll over for me.”
“Does… anyone ask questions?” Leto shook his head. “Not really you’re the first to want to know what I am in this kind of depth.” Turner smirked a little. “Telling word choice… ‘what’ you are not ‘who’ you are.”
Leto shrugged. “I guess I do feel like a what not a who, but that is not really here or there.”
“So….” Leto’s deep blue eyes pinned Turner to his seat he stopped fidgeting and watched the other man closely. “Have you ever told anyone about it?” Turner nodded and twisted his lips into a small snarl.
“Normals…girls are the worst.” He sighed as he grabbed a fried noodle. Leto smirked as he closed his eyes behind his cloud of smoke. “It’s like they think you’re a puppy or something you tell a normal anything about your past and they squeal and sigh…” Leto cut in. “Yeah oh poor baaaby…” He sneered slightly. “And they say they understand you’re not like them that you need more understanding---“
Turner interrupted him. “But the minute you do something fucked up to them or someone they care about because well hello you’re fucked up…” Leto finished his sentence. “All the fake compassion melts like ice when hit with a flamethrower.” Turner sighed as he bit his lower lip.
“Yeah it’s just like that you do know how it is.” Leto sighed softly. “I do.” Turner’s voice went softer. “But it’s like you were born in a small cramped cold box, as you grew the box grew with you it was your home your snail shell your hiding place.” His eyes where far away as he spoke he didn’t even seem to notice when Leto reached out and covered his hand with his own.
“The box was your jail as much as anything else but you where used to it and that predictably comforted you because sometimes you’d get taken outside the box into a worse place where horrible things happened to you and the box was at least quiet there’s no yelling or pain in the box it simplely is.”
Turner was speaking in a rush now his words almost slurred as he tried to get it all out clinging blindly to Leto’s hand.
“And one day somehow you get out of the box and into the sun, and the sun is wonderful warm …but you know deep down you don’t belong here in the sun you should’ve have the sun you belong in the box.” Leto quietly finished for him. “And so you run back into the box because the sun scares you so much.” As he spoke he stroked his fingers over the back of Turner’s hand.
“Will I always… be like this?” Turner asked his voice trembling. “No Truine there is hope I promise.” Leto leaned in closer as he said it. “I’ll help you I won’t be fickle I swear.” Turner smiled then brightly. “Ok from one abused kid to another then.” Leto chuckled slightly.
“Yeah word of honor as someone who used to get the shit kicked out of him, now tell me your story.” Turner gripped into to Leto’s hand hard digging his nails in then he let go drawing away sinking slightly into his seat.