No subjects, no songs, no location, no mood, or any other LJ BS
I'm just posting to say that I'm poking my head back into the virtual world. I'm not better, but I'm not worse (which part of me is getting quite tired of). I'm taking things very very very slow as not to make any rash decisions. I haven't gone back to work yet and currently don't have a date of when I will (My boss is being very understanding and even supportive).
I like to say Thank You to everyone who came out to gathering and everyone who sent their condolences.
I would like to write more about Carrie, but as I found with the obituary(which I did not write), words are woefully lacking at this point of time.
Also, I'm currently a very selfish person and welcome any distraction anyone can provide. I just obviously have no clue on what I want to do and so I haven't been the one telling people "Hey let's go to the movies" or something like that.
I have no long term plans at the moment so I really can't say much on that. The best thing I could think of is that I'm going to have Carrie's ashes spread out in Tokyo. She always wanted to live there, so this is her chance. I'll be making a "vacation" of it because it would be silly to fly there and back. Anyone who wants to and can come is more than welcome to. All I can say is that it will happened sometime this year.
I've been very good for Carrie's sake and haven't attacked people in rage and grief. Everytime someone says "Is there anything I can do" I have to bite my tongue from saying "Well you can bring Carrie back to life". But I understand that people don't know what to say and just want to do whatever they can. I understand that all too well, because I've always tried to do everything I can for Carrie (hence the last plan to take her to Tokyo).
I've just noticed this may seem a bit rambling, but I'm just doing a straight stream of consciousness. BTW, the spelling and grammar is going to be a bit off because Carrie isn't able to check it (or even to use LJCUT to make this post shorter).
Also, I haven't believed in any gods since I was a child and currently I feel that I've been proven right. This is not meant as a slight on anybody's beliefs, I'm just letting people know that I can't find any comfort in such things. I'm not stupid and I know how this world works.
I'm going to stop this post now because I'm feeling guilty because I can't seem to talk about Carrie but I can go on and on about Myself.
Well Carrie was my other half, so I'm in shock and don't like not having all the answers.
All I know is that I LOVE CARRIE AND I ALWAYS WILL.
I like to say Thank You to everyone who came out to gathering and everyone who sent their condolences.
I would like to write more about Carrie, but as I found with the obituary(which I did not write), words are woefully lacking at this point of time.
Also, I'm currently a very selfish person and welcome any distraction anyone can provide. I just obviously have no clue on what I want to do and so I haven't been the one telling people "Hey let's go to the movies" or something like that.
I have no long term plans at the moment so I really can't say much on that. The best thing I could think of is that I'm going to have Carrie's ashes spread out in Tokyo. She always wanted to live there, so this is her chance. I'll be making a "vacation" of it because it would be silly to fly there and back. Anyone who wants to and can come is more than welcome to. All I can say is that it will happened sometime this year.
I've been very good for Carrie's sake and haven't attacked people in rage and grief. Everytime someone says "Is there anything I can do" I have to bite my tongue from saying "Well you can bring Carrie back to life". But I understand that people don't know what to say and just want to do whatever they can. I understand that all too well, because I've always tried to do everything I can for Carrie (hence the last plan to take her to Tokyo).
I've just noticed this may seem a bit rambling, but I'm just doing a straight stream of consciousness. BTW, the spelling and grammar is going to be a bit off because Carrie isn't able to check it (or even to use LJCUT to make this post shorter).
Also, I haven't believed in any gods since I was a child and currently I feel that I've been proven right. This is not meant as a slight on anybody's beliefs, I'm just letting people know that I can't find any comfort in such things. I'm not stupid and I know how this world works.
I'm going to stop this post now because I'm feeling guilty because I can't seem to talk about Carrie but I can go on and on about Myself.
Well Carrie was my other half, so I'm in shock and don't like not having all the answers.
All I know is that I LOVE CARRIE AND I ALWAYS WILL.