i almost forgot i had a live journal...
man, its been too long since ive had any kind of contact with the out side world... little over a month now i suppose... ha ha... i tried to read everyones journals, catch up ya know, but my friends page wouldnt go back any further... so i am missing shit...hum...oh well...
so like im up... here in corona... cant sleep... the chinchilla i bought my sister for christmas keeps me up at nights... she was an expensive little runt too... $120... plus the expences of her living materials- $193... yeah... i had $800 two weeks ago for my christmas spending and i spent every last drop of it... on my dad, mom, sis, leah and craig, and then the three kids... who could guess?
im feeling really good these days... smiling when i wake up each day... becoming friends with my sis... last week i drove out to highland to see her at work and then go out to eat lunch on her lunch break... it was really nice...
i cant believe how things are looking up right now. i mean i dont feel miserable anymore. leah and craig and corona have been so good for me... now all i need is my medical to come through... yep, ive been all responsible out here... paying bills and what not... changing my address and all... this is my home... i feel really good out here... the escape of regular pain i have... my life as ive never known it to be... i got my BMG cds up in the mail last week... been listening to the bjork six disc box set i got... the same i bought anthony last year for an outstanding $85 and i only had to spend $16 for mine! what a bitch... lol... i cant get over how much i love this woman for this box set! and right now i am listening to my sade cd... the one i had borrowed from ketchi a year ago...now i own it!! lol...
i havent talked to anyone in so long... hum... do you miss me? i dont think so... my mom said greg kept calling this one day... she called me out here to give me his number... ha ha... but i didnt think to call him back cause i didnt he really had anything to say to me... thought maybe he was lost... lol... i've been thinking about anthony lately... missing my friend... thought a lot about joni... not that any of that matters to anyone... shaun crossed my mind... thought about how he said he was supposed to move out here... and wondering just where at now... cause im here!! i have christmas cards for everyone... jennifers and the felders are in the mail... but i dont have anyone elses address... so damn... lol... this is the second christmas ive gone through without friends... only this time im actualy happy... ha! yeah, sorry guys no more depressed drowning amber! shes all good... i miss the social life a bit... though, could it be that its part of the reason why im happy now? it gets a little stressful out here at times cause the kids have their bad moments and things...ya know? well tomorrow i am gonna bake and decorate sugar cookies for santa with the kids all day!! ha ha!! i love them... i really love... about as much as i do david... only i dont see david anymore... armon, aryana, and roya... my little friends... the give me hugs and kisses and make me pictures... and tell me they love me and that im pretty! lol... my family!!! leah is like a good friend... shes really good to me.. and craig is so funny.... they are so interesting! i just dont have anyone to "talk" to... ya know? i dont have a friend to go gossip with and really joke with... leah and craig are friends, but they are my bosses as well, and its different... and so ive been focusing on my sister! i love her so much, and wonder why i never talked to her more often! i cant wait till tomorrow night... im gonna leave to my house in moval for christmas dinner with my family and we are gonna exchange gifts then cause we dont want to have to drive all those presents out to my grandmas christmas morning! itll be me, my sis, her boyfriend, mom, dad, and i think donna! im looking forward to it... i did my hair all up today, and i got my outfit planned out...i hang out with my mom too... when i was out there this weekend i spent it with her... and we went to see my sisters apt all decorated...lol... she can decorate too!
well ill be home this weekend, but i go back out here next week, even though the kids wont be here for the two weeks she asked if i wanted to come out and do some detailed cleaning for pay... cause she knows i need the money... thats three hundred bucks to clean an already spic-n-span house!! lol... damn this lady is awesome... they told me that they dont consider paying me a "salary", but rather a "aloence"...
not that any of that matters to you guys... i missed out on somethings... like matts bday and jasons bday and a few other dates at which i wish i wouldnt have missed! but a working woman has priorities to take care of...especially when shes got responsibilities to attend to. so this year for christmas leah and craig get me a brand new cell.... yep!! the put me on a $60 a month plan... why? who needs 3000 minutes to talk? lol... they figure a 19 year old has friends to use it with right? ha ha! little do they know! lol! so they have it on a one year lease, and they are gonna pay for it all year... untill the lease is up... DAMN what kind of gift is that? and the cell is all updated and high class... blue lights!!! lol... it does lights!! and colors!! and its free!! for a year its fucking free!!! lol... ha! oh my god, do you guys no how much my life has improved because of these two people and the opportunity they gave me to work here in their home!??!?!!! so, heres my new number... (909) 454-9196 call me, the phone never turns off... cause ive got timers set so i leave it on as it charges at night... but someoone... anyone call me... its free for me!!! lol!!! although im not sure about the text... lol... but yeah... i would love to get some calls from you guys...and hang out or something... no one calls me or anything.... you guys forget about me? or is it the other way? i havent even thought about boys... noticed a few... theres the virtual teller at rccu, and the bag boy at albertsons out here... but thats about it... still no dates... still no new friends... still no social advancements... i am trying to work on joining the gym... meet some guys there and get fit there... if i went online more often i could check out the many many guys who track me down on myspace.... but i never go on... well i do... i go on their computer... it has dsl... and i just dont go to aol to use the express buddy list... not really a reason to cause i havent talked to anyone in years! but i miss you guys... maybe ill go on to myspace and meet some one now... hum... who knows... i just spend most my time relaxing and enjoying myself... for once enjoying me! enjoying my life and my family...
well, thats all thats new here i guess... i have a few moments when i wanna just break down and cry cause i miss some of you just too too much... like if im driving somewhere and im playing a cd that hits the memory spot for someone, i do feel bad... but yeah... cant do much to help it out huh? i send my love and heart out to you guys... do call... anytime...right now!!! lol good night yall...
so like im up... here in corona... cant sleep... the chinchilla i bought my sister for christmas keeps me up at nights... she was an expensive little runt too... $120... plus the expences of her living materials- $193... yeah... i had $800 two weeks ago for my christmas spending and i spent every last drop of it... on my dad, mom, sis, leah and craig, and then the three kids... who could guess?
im feeling really good these days... smiling when i wake up each day... becoming friends with my sis... last week i drove out to highland to see her at work and then go out to eat lunch on her lunch break... it was really nice...
i cant believe how things are looking up right now. i mean i dont feel miserable anymore. leah and craig and corona have been so good for me... now all i need is my medical to come through... yep, ive been all responsible out here... paying bills and what not... changing my address and all... this is my home... i feel really good out here... the escape of regular pain i have... my life as ive never known it to be... i got my BMG cds up in the mail last week... been listening to the bjork six disc box set i got... the same i bought anthony last year for an outstanding $85 and i only had to spend $16 for mine! what a bitch... lol... i cant get over how much i love this woman for this box set! and right now i am listening to my sade cd... the one i had borrowed from ketchi a year ago...now i own it!! lol...
i havent talked to anyone in so long... hum... do you miss me? i dont think so... my mom said greg kept calling this one day... she called me out here to give me his number... ha ha... but i didnt think to call him back cause i didnt he really had anything to say to me... thought maybe he was lost... lol... i've been thinking about anthony lately... missing my friend... thought a lot about joni... not that any of that matters to anyone... shaun crossed my mind... thought about how he said he was supposed to move out here... and wondering just where at now... cause im here!! i have christmas cards for everyone... jennifers and the felders are in the mail... but i dont have anyone elses address... so damn... lol... this is the second christmas ive gone through without friends... only this time im actualy happy... ha! yeah, sorry guys no more depressed drowning amber! shes all good... i miss the social life a bit... though, could it be that its part of the reason why im happy now? it gets a little stressful out here at times cause the kids have their bad moments and things...ya know? well tomorrow i am gonna bake and decorate sugar cookies for santa with the kids all day!! ha ha!! i love them... i really love... about as much as i do david... only i dont see david anymore... armon, aryana, and roya... my little friends... the give me hugs and kisses and make me pictures... and tell me they love me and that im pretty! lol... my family!!! leah is like a good friend... shes really good to me.. and craig is so funny.... they are so interesting! i just dont have anyone to "talk" to... ya know? i dont have a friend to go gossip with and really joke with... leah and craig are friends, but they are my bosses as well, and its different... and so ive been focusing on my sister! i love her so much, and wonder why i never talked to her more often! i cant wait till tomorrow night... im gonna leave to my house in moval for christmas dinner with my family and we are gonna exchange gifts then cause we dont want to have to drive all those presents out to my grandmas christmas morning! itll be me, my sis, her boyfriend, mom, dad, and i think donna! im looking forward to it... i did my hair all up today, and i got my outfit planned out...i hang out with my mom too... when i was out there this weekend i spent it with her... and we went to see my sisters apt all decorated...lol... she can decorate too!
well ill be home this weekend, but i go back out here next week, even though the kids wont be here for the two weeks she asked if i wanted to come out and do some detailed cleaning for pay... cause she knows i need the money... thats three hundred bucks to clean an already spic-n-span house!! lol... damn this lady is awesome... they told me that they dont consider paying me a "salary", but rather a "aloence"...
not that any of that matters to you guys... i missed out on somethings... like matts bday and jasons bday and a few other dates at which i wish i wouldnt have missed! but a working woman has priorities to take care of...especially when shes got responsibilities to attend to. so this year for christmas leah and craig get me a brand new cell.... yep!! the put me on a $60 a month plan... why? who needs 3000 minutes to talk? lol... they figure a 19 year old has friends to use it with right? ha ha! little do they know! lol! so they have it on a one year lease, and they are gonna pay for it all year... untill the lease is up... DAMN what kind of gift is that? and the cell is all updated and high class... blue lights!!! lol... it does lights!! and colors!! and its free!! for a year its fucking free!!! lol... ha! oh my god, do you guys no how much my life has improved because of these two people and the opportunity they gave me to work here in their home!??!?!!! so, heres my new number... (909) 454-9196 call me, the phone never turns off... cause ive got timers set so i leave it on as it charges at night... but someoone... anyone call me... its free for me!!! lol!!! although im not sure about the text... lol... but yeah... i would love to get some calls from you guys...and hang out or something... no one calls me or anything.... you guys forget about me? or is it the other way? i havent even thought about boys... noticed a few... theres the virtual teller at rccu, and the bag boy at albertsons out here... but thats about it... still no dates... still no new friends... still no social advancements... i am trying to work on joining the gym... meet some guys there and get fit there... if i went online more often i could check out the many many guys who track me down on myspace.... but i never go on... well i do... i go on their computer... it has dsl... and i just dont go to aol to use the express buddy list... not really a reason to cause i havent talked to anyone in years! but i miss you guys... maybe ill go on to myspace and meet some one now... hum... who knows... i just spend most my time relaxing and enjoying myself... for once enjoying me! enjoying my life and my family...
well, thats all thats new here i guess... i have a few moments when i wanna just break down and cry cause i miss some of you just too too much... like if im driving somewhere and im playing a cd that hits the memory spot for someone, i do feel bad... but yeah... cant do much to help it out huh? i send my love and heart out to you guys... do call... anytime...right now!!! lol good night yall...