geezus
So like I talked to Kris… he’s so awesome…still such a sweetie… I told him about Erick, just a little, just that Erick was done, and just didn’t have really any kind of real reason to be done as well…and kris tried to tell me a little about him as much as he knew to be true… kris is real sweet… Jennifer thought he might be an ass to me, but he wasn’t. trixie said a few months ago when I was doing Erick things that kris told her he found someone else… but when I talked to him he didn’t seem that way… he was just all like “oh I missed you, and wanted to call you so many times, but I didn’t know what to say… and then trixie said you were with Erick…and yeah” lol.. I think trixie got hers mixed up, or maybe he said that to her in spite of his pride… lol… or there could’ve been someone else… considering the fact that I was so screwed up that he ran off… lol I don’t blame him…I mean I was so nasty then... You guys just don’t even know how dirty I was… my mood swings were like triple action…. Bi polar through the roof man… it was horrible… that’s what kris and I talked about as well… I talked about how stupid I was, and how I messed up everything… and he said the greatest thing, even though it shouldn’t matter much, it just does… he said “all the time I’ve known you, from the very first moment, even when you claim you were ‘at your worst’ I have never thought anything lower of you, I’ve always had the best thoughts of you in mind…” ahhh!! Awwww!!!! How great! Well, so like this makes me feel good only because he boosted my ego… which isn’t that big…and unfortunately I don’t have anyone else that does this… not even my friends do this…well maybe every now and then they will, but that’s not often… so when someone says something nice, ill feed on it, yes I will…unless they are black…and just dirty…just so nasty and filthy…lol…lmao…
So there is this new guy on friendster…he lives in LA… he’s all tool about it…he is currently making a animation for lateralus… how cool is that…but he is currently still trying to get privileges to the song and what not to use it and such!!! I need to meet him… he has a lady and all but oh ell… he can be my friend…I just sent him a message and he sent one back…I’ve got friends… lol…well trying to make them and such I should say…
I don’t know what to do about kris though. He said I should come hang out with the “hommies”…but I know what that means…he said some other things along with such… cause I told him I was hangin out with all my old groupies again, and he was just like “naw, that’s cool and all but I want you to come out with me and drive around and such and we came hang out like the old days and chill with the hommies…the cool ones..” lol... It was funny… he said something like that…in some way… but yeah, it wasn’t like that, not that stupid…he said it way more privileged… lol… he’s a good guy… but I just don’t wanna be up around the shit… exposure to shit is gonna be horrid… but I miss him and the guys… they were all cool, but it wont be nearly the same if im not all shittin’ it up as well, at least I believe it wouldn’t… maybe not… but I don’t know what I want to do…id like to see kris and hang with him, just not everyone else…really…just so I don’t fall back in where I came so far out of… I crawled on my hands and knees to get away from that shit, and I have battle scars to prove it…I told kris that…a and he was all sweet and proud... I told him I might get that job, and he wished me lots of luck… he wanted me to continue school and shit before, he begged me... Literally begged me to stay, but I quit anyway…now that I talked to him again, he still is persistent that I go back to school…I told him I had the interview, and he was like “that’s god, now what about school… you need to be in it… for the better of you!” he is a good guy, he’s like troy…ya know troy from work…we all loved her…she’s great, and she a tweeker just the same… lol…kris said he smoked her out with some chronic…and all she needed was one or two hits and she was flying…lol…lmao! It was funny! He and her a are good buds or something now I guess...prolly hang out sometimes and shit… well… I dunno…
Anyway… boredom… I guess ill go eat again… this how I get fat… but when I leave home I wont be eating as much, cause I know ill be too shy to be all up in these peoples cubbords and things… and so yeah… not to mention I doubt they will have allt he snacks and goodies my mom keep in here… and I cant eat there like I eat here… and in a month maybe I should have enough money to start some kind of 24 hour fitness shit… oh yeah…I’ve got those ballys passes… that’ll be cool huh? I need to exercise… lose some weight… I’ve picked up about 20lbs again… my world breaking 139 went up to 155... Ugh…eww… that’s ugly man! Lol… it really is so disgusting… anyway…I’ve said enough…and I doubt anyone read this entry all the way through anyway… muah my loves…I love all of you…
Halloween is tomorrow… I want candy damn it… DAMN IT!! Lol… hum… what are we doing this year you guys…
So there is this new guy on friendster…he lives in LA… he’s all tool about it…he is currently making a animation for lateralus… how cool is that…but he is currently still trying to get privileges to the song and what not to use it and such!!! I need to meet him… he has a lady and all but oh ell… he can be my friend…I just sent him a message and he sent one back…I’ve got friends… lol…well trying to make them and such I should say…
I don’t know what to do about kris though. He said I should come hang out with the “hommies”…but I know what that means…he said some other things along with such… cause I told him I was hangin out with all my old groupies again, and he was just like “naw, that’s cool and all but I want you to come out with me and drive around and such and we came hang out like the old days and chill with the hommies…the cool ones..” lol... It was funny… he said something like that…in some way… but yeah, it wasn’t like that, not that stupid…he said it way more privileged… lol… he’s a good guy… but I just don’t wanna be up around the shit… exposure to shit is gonna be horrid… but I miss him and the guys… they were all cool, but it wont be nearly the same if im not all shittin’ it up as well, at least I believe it wouldn’t… maybe not… but I don’t know what I want to do…id like to see kris and hang with him, just not everyone else…really…just so I don’t fall back in where I came so far out of… I crawled on my hands and knees to get away from that shit, and I have battle scars to prove it…I told kris that…a and he was all sweet and proud... I told him I might get that job, and he wished me lots of luck… he wanted me to continue school and shit before, he begged me... Literally begged me to stay, but I quit anyway…now that I talked to him again, he still is persistent that I go back to school…I told him I had the interview, and he was like “that’s god, now what about school… you need to be in it… for the better of you!” he is a good guy, he’s like troy…ya know troy from work…we all loved her…she’s great, and she a tweeker just the same… lol…kris said he smoked her out with some chronic…and all she needed was one or two hits and she was flying…lol…lmao! It was funny! He and her a are good buds or something now I guess...prolly hang out sometimes and shit… well… I dunno…
Anyway… boredom… I guess ill go eat again… this how I get fat… but when I leave home I wont be eating as much, cause I know ill be too shy to be all up in these peoples cubbords and things… and so yeah… not to mention I doubt they will have allt he snacks and goodies my mom keep in here… and I cant eat there like I eat here… and in a month maybe I should have enough money to start some kind of 24 hour fitness shit… oh yeah…I’ve got those ballys passes… that’ll be cool huh? I need to exercise… lose some weight… I’ve picked up about 20lbs again… my world breaking 139 went up to 155... Ugh…eww… that’s ugly man! Lol… it really is so disgusting… anyway…I’ve said enough…and I doubt anyone read this entry all the way through anyway… muah my loves…I love all of you…
Halloween is tomorrow… I want candy damn it… DAMN IT!! Lol… hum… what are we doing this year you guys…