You want my true thoughts...here ya go

[bloodybody187]

If anyone could get in my mind I think they would be fucked up for life. You wanna know what goes on in my head...well here read this and you might have some idea. I try to be happy in life but that is the biggest strugle of all. You wanna know what I care about, who I love. Well first above everyone else there is my daughter Reyna. She is what keeps me going. She is part of me that no one can compare to. I love her more than life itself. Then there is James. He is my best friend. My first love, someone I will never forget or stop loving. Someone I will always love and wish I could be with again. Yes, be with again. He made me smile like no other, made me feel like no other, made me cry like no other, just in a way I cannot desribe. I am sick of holding feelings inside anymore. I love him. Yes, if James wanted to be with me, I would drop everything I was doing and be with him. Go ahead, get pissed, hit me, do as you will but you wanna know my thoughts, these are it. You discriminate me for feeling these things but yet you ask for it by always wanting to know how I feel. I am sick of feeling. I am sick of not being happy. When I was with him, that is the time I was happiest in my life. Charlie, go ahead. Bitch me out, tell me you hate me, tell me I do not feel this way but I do. I face it everyday. I will never be over him. Call me obsessed. I would not define it as that but yet love that has been introduced to my life and that I will charish forever. James will never be with me again cause he loves me like a sister. Well I have him in my life and that is all that matters. All of you that do not have him, well shit you are missing out on the best thing ever created. William, I know you will be upset, but go ahead, get mad at me, yell at me, do whatever you feel like doing but I am being honest. I love him more than anything. Fuck, why do I have to love someone that I will never be with, that will never love me in that same way. YES, I FEEL. Imagine that. But relationships always go to hell cause no offense, you will never meet up to him. I am sorry if you get pissed cause I am talking about you James, but I have to get it out of my head. It goes in circles all the time. I love you. I have to go now before I piss anyone else off. Bu bye...

Angel of Darkness