(no subject)
I just woke up. Rather disappointed I didn’t get a call last night but I can hardly care - it just adds on to the giant abscess of frustration, guilt and utter hopelessness. I feel slightly better than I did yesterday but nothing could make me recover completely from the horrid chemistry exam.
I didn’t study much, yes, my fault - but I was obsessing over other things. I don’t know why I was so stupid, you DO NOT associate with laddies during the HSC!!! Now I failed the only thing that matters, and I STILL couldn’t have the guy anyway. Why do I always end up in some catastrophic mess that I can blame on no one but myself?
The exam was the worst exam I’ve ever done - okay, it was better than maths but this one has to count in my top 10 units. It was one of those exams that seem to ask you EVERYTHING YOU DIDN’T STUDY and nothing you’ve actually studied. As usually, the butterfly is unlucky. I’ve said exams don’t depend on luck, but it seems that it does. I mean, the exam would have gone a lot better if there was a 7-mark question in the Haber process and ANYTHING on radioisotopes - heck I even know how to calculate cell EMF! I decided that I should start doing the calculations in chemistry exams so I decided to learn either molar heat of combustion of calculating EMF I had to choose the one that was no use. Oh god I cannot believe how badly I’ve done, I realized I know NOTHING about esters. There weren’t the expected essay questions on the potential use of ethanol as a future fuel and the use of biopolymers. I SPENT AGES TRYING REMEMBER THE DEVELOPMENTS OF POLYHYDROXYBUTANOATE!!!!
During the exam I devoured my hand which is now slightly sore - it looked like chewed bubble gum when I came out though. I had to stop myself several times during the reading time because I was about to burst into tears with each flip of the page. There was just nothing I knew!!! It kept according during the 3 hours writing time too, I felt like rising my hand and telling the supervisors “excuse me, but I’m having a panic attack”
All the diagrams in it were crappy because I was shaking so much. I screwed the multiple choice up. I can never do anything right.
And …
FUCK OFF I’M NOT PESSIMISTIC, I JUST FAILED MY CHEMISTRY EXAM AND I’M ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE SHIT, OKAY???
Anyways, I shall continue. The original plan was to go home and vent my anger at inanimate objects. But as I was passing the bridge, I saw a little pigeon on the ground, still alive, obviously not very well. So I took off my shirt and wrapped it up to take home (yes I had a singlet under my shirt you pervert). On closer inspection, it seemed to be suffering internal injuries. I’m worried about it’s lungs, one side seem to have collapsed and the other side is puffing up very strangely which makes me thing that air might have escaped into the space between the abdominal wall and the skin. It also threw up some blood earlier.
It’s going to be temporarily blind, possibly permanently. And I’m worried about how it’s going to have food. I’m afraid to feed it because it seems to have trouble breathing and the esophagus is too dangerously close to the trachea. However, if I won’t feed it soon, it’ll get weak and never recover.
I’m calling it Orion for now.
It will cheer the butterfly up when no one else would =^_^=
I didn’t study much, yes, my fault - but I was obsessing over other things. I don’t know why I was so stupid, you DO NOT associate with laddies during the HSC!!! Now I failed the only thing that matters, and I STILL couldn’t have the guy anyway. Why do I always end up in some catastrophic mess that I can blame on no one but myself?
The exam was the worst exam I’ve ever done - okay, it was better than maths but this one has to count in my top 10 units. It was one of those exams that seem to ask you EVERYTHING YOU DIDN’T STUDY and nothing you’ve actually studied. As usually, the butterfly is unlucky. I’ve said exams don’t depend on luck, but it seems that it does. I mean, the exam would have gone a lot better if there was a 7-mark question in the Haber process and ANYTHING on radioisotopes - heck I even know how to calculate cell EMF! I decided that I should start doing the calculations in chemistry exams so I decided to learn either molar heat of combustion of calculating EMF I had to choose the one that was no use. Oh god I cannot believe how badly I’ve done, I realized I know NOTHING about esters. There weren’t the expected essay questions on the potential use of ethanol as a future fuel and the use of biopolymers. I SPENT AGES TRYING REMEMBER THE DEVELOPMENTS OF POLYHYDROXYBUTANOATE!!!!
During the exam I devoured my hand which is now slightly sore - it looked like chewed bubble gum when I came out though. I had to stop myself several times during the reading time because I was about to burst into tears with each flip of the page. There was just nothing I knew!!! It kept according during the 3 hours writing time too, I felt like rising my hand and telling the supervisors “excuse me, but I’m having a panic attack”
All the diagrams in it were crappy because I was shaking so much. I screwed the multiple choice up. I can never do anything right.
And …
FUCK OFF I’M NOT PESSIMISTIC, I JUST FAILED MY CHEMISTRY EXAM AND I’M ALLOWED TO FEEL LIKE SHIT, OKAY???
Anyways, I shall continue. The original plan was to go home and vent my anger at inanimate objects. But as I was passing the bridge, I saw a little pigeon on the ground, still alive, obviously not very well. So I took off my shirt and wrapped it up to take home (yes I had a singlet under my shirt you pervert). On closer inspection, it seemed to be suffering internal injuries. I’m worried about it’s lungs, one side seem to have collapsed and the other side is puffing up very strangely which makes me thing that air might have escaped into the space between the abdominal wall and the skin. It also threw up some blood earlier.
It’s going to be temporarily blind, possibly permanently. And I’m worried about how it’s going to have food. I’m afraid to feed it because it seems to have trouble breathing and the esophagus is too dangerously close to the trachea. However, if I won’t feed it soon, it’ll get weak and never recover.
I’m calling it Orion for now.
It will cheer the butterfly up when no one else would =^_^=