(no subject)
i have a virus on my computer. i feel like i've made too many sacrifices for genevieve and dez for spring break. and it's causing problems. she's pissed because i said i think that its not fair for her to not allow me to sleep in my room and also take my alternate mattress, the futon from Mike's room, for allll of spring break. yeah, i said that i would be gone for spring break and it'd be no problem, then she sprung the taking of the futon, and it turns out i cant stay in austin for the whole time, because my brother has work. so i'm going to be here, and i dont know what to do about it, i guess i cant understand why it's so damn uncomfortable for her and dez to sleep in the same room as me....we can set up times where i can be away and they can fuck. i'm also going to be the one that'll sign him in for like half the time, and i dont necessarily think it's right to support their relationship because it seems pretty fucking unhealthy, but that's her mistake to make. grrr....
i've had quite a day, and that was just like an unnecessary toping. i havent slept well forever, and i just want some love, in the friendship form, or lover form, even just a cat, i need something to take care of something to value, something in flesh that i can see. as much as i love my people at home, there isnt a body to be close to, and physical connection is so important to me. i have to cry really bad, but there is nowhere to do it. the counselor asked me if i wanted to "have a cry" after my appointment, i was like......no.
i have a cyst on my breast that is infected and has come to the skin, so i have to go fill my antibiotics...if it's not completely gone by next week, i have to go back, and i'll need to go to a surgeon for an ultrasound and he might have to remove it. she said she has never seen anyone under 40 with breast cancer....but we have to check it out anyway.
i've had quite a day, and that was just like an unnecessary toping. i havent slept well forever, and i just want some love, in the friendship form, or lover form, even just a cat, i need something to take care of something to value, something in flesh that i can see. as much as i love my people at home, there isnt a body to be close to, and physical connection is so important to me. i have to cry really bad, but there is nowhere to do it. the counselor asked me if i wanted to "have a cry" after my appointment, i was like......no.
i have a cyst on my breast that is infected and has come to the skin, so i have to go fill my antibiotics...if it's not completely gone by next week, i have to go back, and i'll need to go to a surgeon for an ultrasound and he might have to remove it. she said she has never seen anyone under 40 with breast cancer....but we have to check it out anyway.