Fear
I fear for my own life some times. I'm not worried about what people might do to me. I'm worried about what my mind will do to me. Remembering things I don't want to remember. I think I really should have stayed and finished my treatment. Gotten rid of all this shit. I was able to get rid of my big pain/fear. The stuff about my Dad, but not the stuff about my sexual assualts. I've sort of dealt with it(ie:shoved it to the back of my mind). Every memory I get of these events comes in the form of dreams. More like nightmares. I hate them, they make me stutter. So I don't want to talk to anyne. So, of course, I can't talk through it and make myself feel better. So now I fear. I fear that I'll start cutting again. The comfort. Taking care of myself. My secret. My fear.