Altara [about a week later but Thursday, Fandom Time]

[bloody_luck]

Mat's goal of punching a hole through the Seanchan's line was working incredibly well, to the pride of the Band and the open gaping of Tuon, who'd long ago written him off as nothing more than a Toy. Mat would be lying if he didn't find that reassessment incredibly gratifying: there was more to him than the pretty Tylin had tried to turn him into

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[randlanders]

"She has all of the Aes Sedai shielded, Mat," Joline said a little tightly, glaring at the der'sul'dam.

[bloody_luck]

Bloody wonderful. Mat stalked over to the der'sul'dam's horse and seized it by the bridle. "Release the shield," he commanded. He felt the foxhead around his neck go cold as the two sul'dam gasped.

"See? It doesn't work on me. Now you bloody well release the shields or I'll bloody well haul you out of the saddle and paddle your bottom."

The Deathwatch Guard next to her was openly appraising Mat before saying, "Release the shields, Meitene."

"The marath'damane was on the point of embracing saidar," she said instead of obeying. "There's no telling what she might have--"

"Release the shields," he said firmly. "And release the Power."

Mat gave a satisfied nod before whirling to face the Aes Sedai. "Now don't you bloody well start! She's let go of the Power. You do it, too. Go ahead!" He waited until his foxhead stopped being cold before giving them a nod as well.

[randlanders]

"One of these days, Mat Cauthon," Joline said acidly, "someone will teach you to show proper respect to Aes Sedai, and I hope I am there to see it."

Tuon burst out laughing, and Mat grunted, looking far from amused.

[bitch_prince]

"I am less and less sure of what's going on in this place by the minute," Arthur muttered as an aside to Merlin, "Besides that everyone is bloody mad."

So he picked up on Mat's speech patterns while he was around. So sue him.

[randlanders]

The Deathwatch Guard approached Thom. "General Merrilin," he said, "you fought a short but remarkable campaign and achieved miracles at keeping your forces undetected, but your luck is about to run out. General Chisen deduced your real purpose. He has turned his army around and is marching for the Malvide Narrows as fast as he can. He will be here in two days. I have ten thousand men not far from here, enough to pin you until he arrives. But the High Lady Tuon would be in danger, and I want to avoid that. Let me leave with her, and I will allow you and your men to depart unhindered. You can be well the other side of the mountains, into the Molvaine Gap, before Chisen arrives, and into Murandy before he can catch you. The only other choice is annihilation. Chisen has enough men to wipe you out. It won't be a battle. A hundred thousand men against eight thousand will be a slaughter

[bloody_luck]

"You have about a hundred men, Deathwatch Guards, and maybe twenty Gardeners," Mat countered calmly. "From what I hear, that could make an even fight against five times their number for most soldiers, but the Band aren't most soldiers, and I have a sight more than six hundred. As for Chisen, if that's the fellow who pulled back through the Narrows, even if he has figured out what I was up to, he couldn't get back in less than five days. My scouts' last reports had him pushing southwest along the Ebou Dar Road as fast he could march. The real question is this, though: can you get Tuon to the Tarasin Palace safely?"

[bigdamndestiny]

"You say that about everyone," Merlin replied to Arthur under his breath. Even after visiting Mat several times now, he still couldn't follow what they were all talking about.

[bloody_luck]

Mat grinned over at Arthur and Merlin before turning his attention back to the general. "Or in the parlance of people we knew, regarding your troop position, 'liar, liar, pants on bloody fire.' I just want to know that you can get Tuon safely back to Ebou Dar, since your whole bloody Ever Victorious flaming Army seems intent on bashing her head in with a rock or putting an arrow in her back."

Why? He had not the first idea, but Mat had never cared overmuch for politics. He'd just prefer she not be dead.

He turned his attention to Tuon. "That is, if you trust him to do it."

[randlanders]

"I trust the Deathwatch Guards with my life." Tuon replied calmly, "and him more than any other." She favored Karede with a smile.

[bloody_luck]

But she never smiled at Mat Bloody Cauthon, oh no. He set that aside for more important things.

"Stop bowing like that," he told Karede. "You'll knock your head on the ground if you keep that up. As soon as she and Selucia can get their things together, you take them out of here and ride hard. Tal-manes. roust the Band. It isn't that I don't trust you, Karede, but I think I'll sleep easier beyond the Narrows."

Otherwise known as "Not Flaming Altara."

[randlanders]

"Matrim Cauthon is my husband," Tuon said in a loud, clear voice. Everyone froze where they stood. "Matrim Cauthon is my husband."

Mat looked like a man watching an arrow fly toward his face, knowing he had no chance to dodge.

"Bloody Matrim Cauthon is my husband. That is the wording you used, is it not?"

[bitch_prince]

Wasn't this that kind of strange marriage ritual thing Arthur was sure he'd heard Mat complain about endlessly?

His attention swung to Tuon and he looked... well, surprised wasn't the word. Maybe 'mildly discombobulated' fit better. "I think so," he murmured to Merlin, "but wasn't that right before he had us--?"

Look, even with his voice so low people weren't supposed to hear it, he wasn't going to say 'rolled her into a carpet' out loud.

[bigdamndestiny]

"That's all you have to do here?" Merlin, don't even think about doing that to Arthur. Even if it would be interesting to see the look on his face.

[bloody_luck]

It took a minute before Mat could speak. Burn him, it seemed to take a bloody hour before he could move. When he could, he snatched off his hat, strode to Tuon and seized the razor's bridle. She looked down at him, cool as any queen on a bloody throne. All those battles with the flaming dice rattling away in his head, all those skirmishes and raids, and they had to stop when she said a few words. Well, at least this time he knew what had happened that was bloody fateful for Mat bloody Cauthon

[randlanders]

"I asked a da'mane to tell my fortune just before I landed at Ebou Dar. This is what she said. 'Beware the fox that makes the ravens fly, for he will marry you and carry you away. Beware the man who remembers Hawkwing's face, for he will marry you and set you free. Beware the man of the red hand, for him you will marry and none other.' It was your ring that caught my eye first." He thumbed the long ring unconsciously, and she smiled. A small smile, but a smile. "A fox apparently startling two ravens into flight and nine crescent moons. Suggestive, wouldn't you say?"

[bloody_luck]

He laughed mirthlessly. Blood and bloody ashes. The ring was a carver's try-piece, bought only because it stuck on his finger; he would give up those memories of Hawkwing's face along with every other old memory, if it would get the bloody snakes out of his head; and yet those things had gained him a wife. The Band of the Red Hand would never have existed without those old memories of battles.

"Seems to me being ta'veren works on me as much as it does on anybody else." For a moment, he thought she was going to rap him. He gave her his best smile. "One more kiss before you leave?"