Smooth Criminal
When he was seven James Bond told his mother and father that he wanted to join the navy. They smiled and told him if that was what he wanted to do then that was fine. The next day he went out with his father and Kincade to try shooting for the first time. The recoil from the rifle made Bond's shoulder hurt for a week but he hit right on target. His father called him a natural and Bond grinned. Once the season hit they would go hunting and Bond promised to himself that he was going to impress his father with his skills. Kincade taught him in secret and the season was quickly approaching. Bond was ready and he could hardly contain his excitement. His mother and father were going out to dinner and the next morning they were going to go hunting. Bond planned to ask his father over breakfast as to not ruin the surprise.
Three hours and twenty eight minutes later both of his parents were dead.
Bond sat quietly as the police explained what had happened. There was some ice on the bridge, they said. It was an accident, they said. You have our sympathies, they said, and Bond hardly cared about any of it. He was angry, an anger that seemed to sink into his very bones, and suddenly Bond no longer wanted anything to do with the real world. He was eleven years old and wanted to shut himself up in the house for the rest of his life. Kincade would not let that happen and he chastised Bond the moment that he thought about it out loud. His parents wanted him to go out into the world, to succeed, and that meant leaving the house. Kincade gave him two weeks to mourn before kicking him out of the house and back to school.
Bond hated the way people seemed to tiptoe around him. His parents were dead but he was not made of glass. He did not need for people to watch what they said around him. The first time someone cut off a story about their parents Bond snapped in a truly amazing way. He broke the boy’s nose and laughed until his stomach hurt when he walked away with nothing but a slap on the wrist. Bond hated the way that he was just like every other kid that had lost his parents, he hated the way he was angry, and there was nothing he could do to make that anger go away. Kincade did his best and Bond did not resent him for a second. If anything Bond appreciated the way Kincade let a lot of this play out as if he knew that Bond needed time to get all of this anger out of his system.
Throughout adolescence Bond continued to practice with a gun. It was something that he just could not let go. It was a good way to release some of that anger and Bond even entered himself in a few competitions. There were not many but his accuracy was stupidly high. He kept himself in top condition and went on a lot of runs. He worked out whenever he was not working on schoolwork and target practice and when he graduated Bond had to set aside some time to think about what his next step was going to be.
"You told your parents you wanted to join the Navy," Kincade said after dinner one evening. The rest of the servants and cleaning staff had already gone to bed for the evening. Bond hated to be waited on and had sent most of the staff home. He could do his own dishes.
"I know I did," Bond replied. Kincade stared at him and seemed to be waiting for a longer answer. He felt like he was being scrutinized under the gaze. "I don't know."
"They would be lucky to have you," Kincade said which was not really an answer one way or another. In some way Bond wanted Kincade to tell him to join up much like how Kincade had kicked him back to school all those years ago. Kincade seemed to know that Bond was waiting for someone to tell him what to do and fixed him with a hard stare. "I can't tell you what to do, boy, you need to figure it out for yourself."
Bond scowled and went back to his dinner. That night Bond went out for a nighttime run and tried to think. There were a lot of opportunities for him if he should decide to join the Navy but at the same time Bond did not want to deal with authority. Deep down he knew he was still an angry little boy and there were certain things he needed to get over before he could join something like the military.
Bond told Kincade that he had some things to sort out before he could think about furthering his career or education. Kincade did not seem surprised by this development which suggested that he knew Bond much better than Bond gave him credit for. That day Bond told the staff at the house that they could all go home and they did not need to come back. He was leaving and he was not sure when or if he would be back. There were a lot of things that needed to be taken care of but Kincade waved him off.
"I can finish up things here," he said. "I can tell you want to leave so just leave. This place will be here when you get things sorted out."
"Thank you," Bond said though it was not just for taking care of the house. It was for raising him after his parents died and making sure he went back to school. It was for the patience and skill that came with trying to keep an angry boy from losing it on the rest of the world. There were plenty of things that Bond should have said but they died on his tongue. Instead he nodded, got into his car, and drove away from Skyfall without looking back.
Bond traveled, he took in the sights of the world around him, and learned new things. He saw the rest of Europe, Asia, some of Africa, and now was in the Americas. He was twenty-two years old and itching to fire a gun. It had been some time since he had been to a range and the Americans wasn’t as strict with gun control as his native England. Bond was not even sure what state he was in but that did not matter. He found a local range and was more than happy when they let him take his pick of guns.
He was only an hour into his session when Bond felt someone join him. He glanced over his shoulder and saw a man in a nice suit watching him carefully. Bond emptied the magazine and set the piece down; he was not in the mood to make friends.
"You're very good," the man said.
"I'm aware, can I help you?" Bond asked.
"Maybe you can. I'm looking for someone who is good with a weapon to do some work for me. The pay will be very good and you look like the perfect man for the job." The man smiled and Bond looked him over. The suit was nicer than Bond had originally thought, worth a few thousand American dollars at least, and the way this man was talking about this job in vague terms made Bond narrow his eyes. This was not a strictly legal operation. "You look very bored, Mr. Bond," the man said because of course he knew Bond's name from the information at the range. "Maybe even a little lost. Perhaps I can give you some direction." Bond thought of his parents and the way his father had smiled when Bond told him that he wanted to join the Navy. He thought about Kincade and the house back in Scotland.
"Tell me more about this job," Bond said and the man smiled.
+++
Twenty years later and James Bond had established himself as one of the best hired guns in the world. What had started out as a simple bodyguard job turned into so much more and Bond had spent the last two decades playing with his moral compass. It was not that he considered himself a sociopath but the first time he had had to kill a man to save his own life it had not bothered him as much as he thought it would. Instead Bond found that he slept better that night because he felt safer. There was plenty a therapist could make of that but he was not willing to look into it much. He was one of the best in the world and no agency had come close to catching him yet. Bond also considered himself a good judge of people which was why this job was rubbing him the wrong way.
"Assassinations aren't really my forte," Bond said as he made himself another martini. His flat in London was one of his favorites and was probably the place he considered 'home' at the end of the day.
"I understand that, Mr. Bond, but I need the best for this task," the voice on the other end of the line said. Bond did not recognize them and they were not giving him any names either. Normally he hated working with someone who wasn't willing to meet with him in person. However, recently he had had to get out of the Middle East without being spotted and it had cost him a lot more money than Bond had expected. He was not poor by any means but there was not nearly enough in his savings for Bond to feel truly comfortable. This man was offering a truly insane amount of money for Bond to find and kill one man. It seemed silly to turn down the job despite what his gut was saying.
"Contrary to popular belief flattery won't get you everywhere," Bond replied. "However, I'm willing to look into this job. Are you sure you want me to just shoot this guy? No information extraction?"
"First you say that you aren't an assassin and now you're offering torture? You have an odd set of morals, Mr. Bond," the voice said and Bond hated the way this man kept saying his name.
"I wouldn't be very good at my job if my morals weren't flexible."
"Very true. I just want you to kill this man. Any information he has will not be of any use to me but alive he is dangerous. Take care of him and you will be paid the sum of money we agreed upon," the man said.
"Time table?" Bond asked. If he needed to put down the martini and get to work now he was going to be a little annoyed.
"Consider it an 'open job.' You have to find him first and that is going to be quite a challenge. Just let me know when you plan on finishing the job so we can arrange payment," he said. "I've just sent you the information that I already have. Use it if you wish."
"I’ll be in contact then," Bond said. The man hummed in agreement and hung up. Bond heard his computer ping with the alert of a new email. For a moment he debated ignoring it until the morning but there was something to be said about curiosity. Bond wanted to see who he was being paid to kill, who was so dangerous. And why his employer was letting him have as much time as he wanted to complete the job. Bond opened the email and frowned because there was only one sentence in the email.
He goes by Q.
+++
Three hours into his search for Q and Bond understood why he didn't have a time table for this job. There was virtually no information about Q anywhere that he could find. The only things Bond was able to find was that he was a hacker and it looked like he was one of the best in the world. There was not a whisper about what Q looked like, where he was from, how old he was, even whether Q was a he or a she. It was frustrating because Bond was not the type to idle yet here he was trying to find even the most basic information on his target.
"Who the hell are you?" Bond asked the silence of his flat after two weeks. It was annoying but it looked like he was going to have to call in a few favors. Bond hated calling in favors for something as basic as this but there really did not seem to be any other options. He was chasing a ghost and he needed something to go on.
Vesper Lynd was the one woman Bond thought he could have loved but it had turned out that she was not as keen on the idea as he was. Vesper had been his partner for a job and after a mind blowing week together she had run off with his share of the money and left him a post it with a kiss in red lipstick stuck to his forehead. If nothing else Bond appreciated Vesper's style and with that style she knew a lot of people. She was also in town so it seemed like as good a time as any to meet for drinks and get her to return the favor she owed him. The favor being that Bond didn't shoot her between the eyes for robbing him blind. She was drinking a glass of red wine when Bond joined her in the corner booth in a small Irish pub. There was a football match on so everyone was cheering loud and proud and paying them no attention at all.
"James, how lovely to see you again," Vesper said.
"Vesper, you look radiant as always." Bond was nothing if not a gentleman to his former flings. Most of the time anyway.
"Of course I do," Vesper replied without hesitation. "I must say that I was a little surprised to hear from you and even more surprised to hear that you need my help."
"I've been given a job to kill a ghost," Bond replied. He slid the few pieces of information on Q that he had been able to find to Vesper and got himself a martini. She was frowning deeply when he returned.
"I see what you mean," she said softly. "The infamous Q." Vesper closed the file and sat back in the booth. "I suppose you've realized that he's not going to make it easy for you to find him."
"Obviously and that's why I need you. You have a tendency to meet all of the big name players in our world and if there is anyone that can get me information on Q it would be you. So here I am." Bond took a drink of his martini and waited. If Vesper was going to help him she would say so now and would not string him along, not again, and not when there was nothing on the line for her.
"Q is a ghost," Vesper said. She set her wine glass on the table, folded her hands, and leaned forward. "There are maybe five other people in the world that could match his skills in hacking and even then no one is better at remaining invisible. People don't hire Q; he comes to you looking for work. There is no contact, no number, no email, no way for you to contact him. If he wants to talk to you then he'll find you. No one speaks to him in person or even over the phone. The most you'll ever get is a live chat session if you're lucky. If you try to track him he'll burn your system and make sure the police have a reason to knock on your door within twenty minutes. He's thorough and rarely leaves a trace."
"My employer wants him dead, so how do I find him?" Bond asked.
"There is a rumor that a job is going on in the next few days. Something about a major company that is going public overseas and there are investors here in London who want details and a timetable on the move. You'll want to look here if you're going to find anything." Vesper picked up her wine and finished the glass. "I'll ask around and see if anyone knows anything and you should do the same."
"Find me a location and I'll consider us even, Vesper," Bond said.
"Lovely. That means if you see me again you can put a bullet in me and not feel guilty," Vesper replied sweetly.
"I know you wouldn’t hesitate to shoot me back," Bond replied and he smiled when she laughed. Vesper didn't linger much longer and instead pulled out her phone as she strolled from the pub. The crowd of men at the bar erupted into cheers and Bond finished his drink.
+++
True to her word Vesper contacted him within forty eight hours. It was good that she seemed to have found something because Bond hadn't found a thing. She read off three possible addresses and told him that there was no way for her to narrow it down any further without making someone powerful angry.
"We couldn't have that now could we," Bond said as he finished writing down the last address.
"Of course not," Vesper replied. "Do let me know if one of those locations pans out. I'd love to know if I need to start looking over my shoulder again."
"You mean to tell me you don't do that already?" Bond asked incredulously.
"Good luck, James," Vesper said and hung up on him. Bond grinned at his phone and looked at the three locations. He used some of the basic hacking that he had picked up over the years to get information on the buildings. If Q was using one of these as some sort of home base that meant he would need electricity. All three of the buildings had working power but one was using significantly less than the other two. Bond set that one aside but as he looked over the other two locations his eyes kept being drawn to the one he should have discarded. All of the buildings were virtually the same in size and layout yet there seemed to be no reason why one building was using almost no electricity compared to the other two.
"Unless you're trying to hide that you're using power from other sources," Bond said to himself. He began to look up the power usage of the surrounding area and in the last week or so all of them had gone up just a little. That little turned into a lot of power being rerouted somewhere and now Bond had a good idea where. The company was going public at nine in the morning Eastern Standard Time so at 14:00 for him. It wasn't ideal to do this in the middle of the afternoon but the only time Bond could guarantee that Q would be there was going to be the hours leading up to the company going public. Bond called his employer and did not have to wait long for someone to answer.
"Mr. Bond, I trust you have some good news," the man said.
"I believe I have a location and I'll be moving in on the target in the next twenty-four hours," Bond replied.
"Excellent. I will start putting your payment together. Good luck, Mr. Bond." His employer hung up and for some reason hearing Vesper's words echo from his employer made Bond's stomach turn a little sour. He wanted to know who he was working for but he also knew that asking questions was a good way for someone to decide a liability wasn't worth it or tell his friends that the hired gun got nosy. Bond shook off his insecurities and decided to get some sleep before gathering his supplies. In a few hours he was going to shoot a man that he did not know and Bond fell asleep easily.
+++
The next morning Bond spent three hours after the sun came up getting his gear together. He strapped a gun to his ankle and another on his hip. He put several extra mags in a pack strapped to his waist and pulled a summer jacket on to cover his holster. He looked like a normal bystander that was going for an early afternoon jog. He parked several blocks away from the office building that was being remodeled and walked the rest of the way. Bond knew the layout from the blueprints he had found online and he had not wanted to risk being spotted to see the area in person. This was his city though and he knew it well. There were plenty of people moving around and Bond hated that there were so many people that could report gunshots should something go wrong.
From his post across the street Bond could see a security camera. It had a blind spot and he had to run for his life to get past the camera and into the building. Bond pulled off his jacket and put the silencer on his gun. Bond heard the blaring horns of the afternoon traffic and he hoped that the horns combined with the silencer would keep people from noticing anything. Bond began to slip through the building and he saw one set of footprints in the dust. He shot out a dozen more security cameras as he made his way to the top of the building. Someone was here and they were being extra careful. Bond made sure he didn’t shoot the cameras out in a straight line. He would loop down one hallway and around another so it was never really clear where he was.
He saw a door at the end of a dark hallway and Bond could see the light shining from underneath. One shot was all he needed and he could put this annoying job behind him. Bond crept silently down the hallway and saw that the door was not locked. He kept his gun in hand and kicked the door open.
The room was brightly lit and there were three computers on a desk in front of him and someone standing in front of them. He was a young man, in his late twenties, with dark hair and glasses. He looked like a student in a cardigan and button down shirt. He typed at a computer with one hand and had a gun pointed directly at Bond's head with the other. He had not even flinched or faltered when Bond kicked the door open.
"It would be wise to put the gun down," the young man said. Something was happening on one of the computer screens and the other had pictures of the building, cameras that Bond had not even seen. Bond contemplated shooting first but the man fired and Bond felt the bullet graze his shoulder. He turned and they made eye contact for the first time. "Please put the gun down, Mr. Bond."
"You must be Q," Bond said as he put his hands up and slowly put his gun on the ground.
"Correct. And you were sent here to kill me," Q replied as if they were discussing the weather. Bond was not about to tell his mark anything though. "I don't need your confirmation since I already know it but I have to ask: how were you able to find me?"
"I knew where to look," Bond replied.
"No, you didn't. No one did save for the people I'm working for; no one knew where I am. If someone leaked my whereabouts then logically it must be the person who hired me" Q said. "I'm afraid we've both been set up." Q sounded angry and he gestured to the cameras. Bond could barely contain his surprise as he watched a small army circle the building. Q hit a key on the keyboard and Bond could hear a sound.
"You all know the plan," a voice said and Bond realized that Q was hacked into their frequency. "Shoot to kill; the boss wants both of them both dead. No loose ends"
"They mean to kill us both." Q reached behind him and hit another button on the keyboard; the computers made terrible noises and began to fade to black. "I hate being betrayed and I'm going to assume you do too so you have a choice; we can leave here together and agree to put this whole stupid thing behind us or you can take a chance in a firefight with those men." Bond was not an idiot and he knew Q wasn't one either. There were far too many men to fight on his own.
"Do I get my gun back?" Bond asked. Q smiled sharply and holstered his own gun clearly trusting Bond enough not to blow his brains out. Bond was not going to do that; he was far too angry at his employer for deciding that killing them both was a far better idea than letting Bond do his job. Bond picked up his gun and watched as Q packed a laptop, a tablet, and a phone into a rucksack.
"Follow me," Q said. Bond had his gun in hand as Q opened a side door and began to jog down the hallway. He could hear men saying things like 'clear' and 'I see bullet holes this way' and they were gaining on them.
"We're not going to outrun them like this," Bond said.
"I have no intention out of outrunning them," Q replied as he typed on his phone. Something in the building clicked and Bond heard echoing screams. It sounded like the floor collapsing.
"Booby traps?" Bond asked.
"Of course," Q said. He rounded a corner as he continued typing on his phone, clearly not worried that he might turn and find a gun in his face. It annoyed Bond and he stopped Q from making another turn.
"If you're too busy to watch where you're going you could have just said so," Bond snapped. "We're heading for the North exit, right?"
"Yes," Q said. He heard another click and this time the screams were cut short by deadly silence. Bond was not sure he wanted to know what had just happened. "If you know the way, by all means." Bond chose to ignore the sarcasm as they walked through the building. Every now and then Q would trigger another trap; they were everywhere. Unfortunately, it seemed that they had not been clever enough because someone yelled 'there they are!' and Bond and Q both took off running toward the exit. A bullet bounced off the wall near Bond's head but he ignored it. Q hit something on his phone and pocketed it. They were only a few steps out into the afternoon sun when the entire building shook and the floors began to collapse. Bond pulled his jacket out of his pack, holstered his gun, and tried to look like someone who was on an afternoon run. They kept running until they reached the street and stood among the other bystanders watching the building collapse into itself. Bond glanced at Q who turned and bolted down the street.
For some reason Bond chased after him but Q was fast. He wasn't even Bond's target anymore and yet he was chasing Q down. Bond turned a corner and ran headlong into a large group of university students filing out of an art house theater. Q vanished into the crowd of young people and Bond could only stare. There were too many people in sweaters with floppy hair and glasses to pick just one. Q had given him the slip and Bond laughed softly to himself; he was impressed and intrigued.
+++
If Bond had had any sense he would have gotten out of London, maybe the country, gone off the grid for a while. Instead he decided that he was going to find Q again because there were not many people in the world that captured Bond’s interest and now he wanted to know more. Bond made his way back to his flat and began to think. Q was young and smart so there was a chance that he had fled but Bond had a feeling he hadn’t. There was something about the way Q had stared at him for that half second before taking off running, interest, similar to what Bond had felt. Vesper was waiting for him when Bond got back to his apartment.
“I heard a funny story about a bunch of wanted fugitives getting buried under a building,” Vesper said as she sipped on red wine.
“That better not be the bottle of wine from the back of the cupboard or we will have words,” Bond replied. Vesper smiled sharply and swirled the wine in the glass.
“I was right about the locations then. Did you kill him?” she asked.
“He got away.” Bond frowned deeply when Vesper chuckled. “He’s a clever kid and he got away.”
“A boy you say?” Vesper asked clearly interested. “Maybe I should go and look for this boy then. Maybe someone will pay me a pretty penny.”
“The person that employed me tried to kill us both. As far as I’m concerned the job on Q is off,” Bond deadpanned. Vesper’s smile slowly faded as she folded her hands in her lap. Bond decided that it was probably a good idea to ignore Vesper as he put away the rest of his things. It wasn't like he couldn't make her leave but he really wasn't in the mood. She seemed to materialize at his side when Bond took off his jacket and she could see the wound on his shoulder. She didn't ask who had hit him or if he was okay. She was just there with the first aid kit ready to patch him up. It was a shame that he couldn't trust her because they had made a good team when they weren't trying to kill or betray each other.
"What are you going to do now?" Vesper asked as she put a bandage on his arm.
"He managed to shoot me and get away," Bond said. It wasn't really an answer but Vesper knew what he meant. She had also managed to outsmart him and he had searched for her as well. It was like he had some sort of disease that made dangerous people fascinating.
"Be careful," she said. Vesper didn't stay much longer after that but she really didn't need to. There wasn't anything else to say between them and there was no way she could talk him out of looking for Q. Bond went to put his guns away.
A week later and it was once again like Q was a ghost. Bond sat at his computer in his living room and tried to see if Q's face was in any missing persons databases. It was a long shot but if he had a real name to go on, or any sort of name other than one letter, then he could use it to track something of note down. His vision was beginning to blur from staring at a screen for too long but at this point Bond was determined.
The first time his screen flickered he thought he was hallucinating but then it did it again. Bond tried to close out of the database thinking that someone had caught him snooping around but the screen froze and then turned black with a cursor in the corner. If his computer was dead Bond was going to be extremely annoyed. He was just about to power down when a sentence began to type across the black screen.
Why are you looking for me?
There was only one person that could be and the thought that Q knew Bond was looking for him made him smile just a little.
I'm curious, Bond typed back.
In what capacity? came the instant reply.
Professional and personal. We should meet in person in a public place and talk it over.
For a moment Bond thought he had offended Q and this was going to be the last he would ever hear from him because a response didn't come for a long time. The computer sat there with the black screen with their conversation staring back at him.
I will send you a location and time. Mere seconds after the response the screen turned black and his normal computer screen flickered back into existence. A moment or two passed before there was a ping on his phone with an address and a time; Bond was not surprised that Q knew his number. The message was only there for a moment before it vanished as if it hadn’t been there in the first place. The address was to a back alley bar where no one would bother them. It was probably in bad taste to show up to a meeting armed but the wound on his arm was still healing from their last encounter.
Bond walked in an hour early and immediately spotted Q reading in a corner booth. He wasn't really surprised that Q was waiting for him despite being an hour early. Bond got himself a drink and sat down across from Q. He was dressed like a student again with a sweater and messy hair but there was a certain level of maturity that only came with being an adult coming from him as well. Q looked over the edge of his book as soon as Bond sat down and smirked.
"Punctual," he said. Q closed his book and looked Bond over with a careful eye. "And armed too."
"You did shoot me last time we saw each other so you can't really blame me for that," Bond replied.
"And yet you were still trying to find me again. You know you're not going to get paid, right?" Q picked up his beer from the table and took a long drink.
"You're interesting so I'm interested. Those traps and hidden cameras were very impressive. I was looking and I didn't see them," Bond said.
"Of course you didn't." Q tilted his head and narrowed his eyes as if he was trying to get a read on him. Bond knew that Q wasn't going to get anything off of him though. If there was one thing that Bond knew he was good at it was hiding his tells. "I did some reading on you as well. You're very good at what you do."
"So we're both very good at what we do then." Bond had a feeling he knew where this was going but he wanted Q to say it because at the end of the day Q was the one that had contacted him. Bond had been getting nowhere finding Q on his own and it would have been easy to keep it that way yet here they were.
"Yes and I find myself in need of a partner for a job I was offered," Q said. "Most of the time I can do my job from my laptop but in this case a trigger needs to be pulled. We'll split the earnings 50/50 and go our separate ways." Bond thought about the way that Q had taken care of the small army that had been coming to kill them and how he had let Bond walk through all of those traps willingly. There was also the small matter of money and how he didn't really have enough of it. He thought about how Q had pointed a gun at his head and only grazed his arm.
"Tell me more about this job," Bond replied and Q smiled sharply.
+++
The job, as it turned out, was stealing a collection of files from the local mob. The problem was that the files needed to be taken in person from the computer and there was no way for Q to get to them without breaking in. He considered himself pretty good with a gun but in a shoot out there was a good chance he would get himself killed. That was where Bond came in. Q would build the virus and software needed to get the information and Bond would break into the building and steal it. Then they would both walk away significantly richer. That was the plan anyway though if Bond knew anything about the less than legal side of the world things never went according to plan. The day after they decided to work together Bond went to their rented apartment so they could start to plan.
The location was an apartment that rented by the month and took cash. There was a bedroom off to the side but it did not look like that was where Q was staying. There was a desk in the middle of the room with various computers spread out and Q did not even look up when Bond walked in.
"There is a key and a new phone on the table," Q said.
"And why do I need a new phone?" Bond asked as he added the key to his ring and turned the phone over in his hand.
"The one you have is worryingly easy to break into. Are you aware that a woman named Vesper Lynd has been monitoring your calls and text messages for just under six months now?" Q asked.
"I can't say it surprises me," Bond replied. He sent off a quick message to Vesper that just said 'that's very rude' and turned the phone off. "I need the layout to the building so I can start planning my entrance and exit strategies." Q looked up from his computer for the first time and blinked once. "I don't just kick a door down and start shooting people. I do have some strategy."
"I'm aware," Q said. He stood up, gathered some papers, and put them down on the empty desk next to the computers. Bond joined him and found himself looking at exact layout copies of the office building that the information was being kept in. "I don't have the exact location of all of the cameras yet but I will before we go in."
"These will work for now," Bond said. Q nodded and went back to work while Bond began to look over the blueprints.
They had three weeks to complete the job and Bond caught himself smiling to himself the more he worked with Q. As it turned out Q was not as young as Bond thought though he was still fairly convinced he was working with a student. Q could also drink to a rather impressive degree considering how slim he was. There were times that Bond was convinced Q was typing so fast that his fingers started to blur. He had a dry and sarcastic sense of humor and didn't respond to needling half as well as Bond wanted him to. All in all Bond was fascinated though that did not stop them from fighting. The first fight happened within the first week.
“I’m not doing that,” Q said.
“It can’t be me because I’m the one that’s going to be breaking in. They could see my face if you don’t cut all of the security cameras. We can’t cut the power more than once so if I go in now someone will see me. Someone needs to go in there and get a feel for the place and it can’t be me.” Bond said standing up a little taller. This was not an argument he was willing to lose.
“And I’m telling you that it’s not an issue. I’ll take care of security and no one is going to see your face.” Q might be smaller in frame but he made up for it with plenty of gusto.
“I’m the one that’s going to get shot if I get caught. You’ll be the one hiding behind a computer screen,” Bond snapped which was the wrong thing to say because Q reacted like someone had slapped him. For half a moment Bond thought he was going to throw a punch and that was going to be the end of their partnership. Instead Q narrowed his eyes and tilted his head like he was trying to get a read on him.
“I stay hidden because that’s what keeps me alive. As you can attest there are plenty of people that want me dead and are willing to pay exorbitant amounts of money to get the job done. So just because I’m not in the thick of things doesn’t mean my neck isn’t on the line either,” Q said. “You’ll have your layout one way or another.” That seemed to be the end of the argument and within forty eight hours Bond had a complete visual tour of the building. He wasn’t sure how Q had gotten that information though it looked like he had somehow bugged a person that was walking around the building.
Bond felt confident by the night of the job. Despite the fact that over the last three weeks he and Q had argued and traded sarcastic barbs nonstop the planning seemed to be going perfectly. Bond knew exactly where he was going and how he was going to get to the computer that had all of the information that he needed. Q had the location of every camera in the building and could take control of them.
“Bond,” Q said in his ear. They were linked via a blue tooth set. Q was staying behind in the apartment while Bond was on his way to the building. It was nearly four in the morning and the shift change would happen in a few minutes. This was the best time for Q to take over their security system.
“Yes, Q?” Bond said.
“Look up and to your left.” Bond looked and watched a camera swing away from him.
“Stop showing off, don’t we have a job to do?” Bond chastised and now he felt like a grumpy old man yelling at the kids to get off of his lawn.
“Stop being such a grumpy old man,” Q said. “The guard shift change is in three minutes so you might want to walk a little faster. And don’t you dare complain about me not letting you take a cab.” Bond picked up the pace and did not argue about the cab again. He crept around the office building and watched as the shift change security guards chatted each other up.
“Do you have control of the security system?” Bond asked.
“Just a moment.” Bond could hear Q typing over the blue tooth. “Yes, but it looks like I’m going to have to guide you to the room. I can’t control the entire system but I can alter one camera at a time.”
“Clear the path for me,” Bond summarized. Q hummed in agreement as Bond made his way across the street and through a backdoor. He had a gun in hand but the plan was to not use it. It would be better if the person they were stealing from did not know anything was missing until the morning. It gave them enough of a head start if they needed to get out of town. Q calmly told him where to go, when to turn, when to wait for a moment or two; it was very thorough and everything seemed to be going well. Which meant that Bond was more than ready when Q made an unhappy sound. “What’s going on?”
“The guards are on their way up to you though they don’t seem to know that you’re here. Take the next right,” Q replied. Bond knew where he was now so he let Q focus on slowing down the elevator and making it error out to give him more time. Bond put the flash drive into the computer and let it download everything while systematically wiping the entire system clear.
“How much longer do I have?” Bond asked as the files continued to download.
“I can take care of them. If there’s going to be trouble I’ll let you know,” Q replied. The files finished downloading and immediately the power to the entire building shut off. “I figured this was easiest to keep them in the elevator.” If Q sounded extremely smug Bond was not about to call him on it just yet. Instead he followed the emergency lights down to the street level. As he opened the door the power clicked back on and there wasn’t any indication law enforcement were on their way. Bond thought about hailing a cab just to make Q angry but that did not seem like the best idea. Instead he jogged back to the apartment building where Q was waiting.
“That went well,” Bond said as Q arranged the transfer for the information.
“That it did,” Q replied. Q wiped his computers clean of any evidence of the job. Bond, meanwhile, tossed the few pieces of physical evidence they had into the fireplace. As Bond was digging through the apartment to make sure that he got everything he found a bottle of scotch hidden in the back of a pantry. When Q saw it he shrugged and found two glasses in a box. They decided to split the bottle to celebrate a job well done. Bond pulled out his old phone and started it up again. There was a text from Vesper that was just a smiley face which he chose to ignore and a voice mail. It was from one of his contacts offering him a job in the Americas.
“I just got another job offer,” Bond said as he hung up his phone. “And since we worked so well together perhaps we could extend this arrangement for one more job.” Q watched him carefully but smiled a little to himself.
“One more job couldn’t hurt,” Q said. Bond grinned and they clinked glasses.
+++
Three Years Later
Eve Moneypenny was absolutely not nervous, not at all. She was only getting her first assignment as a 00 agent today, no big deal. At least that was the mantra that Eve repeated to herself over and over again as she waited for M to call her into her office. Something was happening because everyone seemed a little on edge. Eve had no idea what it was because some people in MI6 did not seem to acknowledge that she had clearance to almost everything in MI6 now. Idly Eve wondered where M was going to send her. There was only so much she could do as a normal field agent but now she was a 00. That meant that all of the dangerous and fun missions went to her. Eve wanted to see the whole world and leave a trail of broken hearts in her wake.
"007, please come in," a voice said through the cracked office door. Eve stood up and walked into the office with her head held high. She knew that M was the reason that she had this job now and she wanted to thank M for that. Judging from the deep frown that M wore this did not seem to be the best time.
"Do you have an assignment for me, ma’am?" Eve asked. M waved for Eve to take a seat and handed Eve a file.
"Over the last two weeks someone has been skirting around our firewalls," M explained. Sure enough all of the attacks were labeled with times, dates, and how close the hacker was to breaking into their system.
"The more they attack the closer they're getting to breaking into the system," Eve concluded.
"Yes," M said nodding. "And I don't think I need to explain what would happen if someone got a hold of MI6's secure files. I've had a few field agents on the case but I think it's time to put this in more capable hands."
"What do we know so far?" Eve asked as she looked over the file.
"We believe that this is the work of a hacker called Q. No one knows their real name, what they look like, even whether Q is a male or female. They're a ghost and they have been around for a long time," M explained. Around for a long time was sort of an understatement. Q was amongst the first elite hackers back when the internet was not as widely used. If all of the cases listed were indeed done by the same person then Q was responsible for many major leaks and millions of dollars going missing. "Three years ago something changed,” M said and Eve blinked back into focus. "Q went from never touching another person to a body count."
"Do you think the title moved onto someone else? Maybe someone else that's a little more trigger happy than the original Q?" Eve asked though it was more to herself than to M.
"Perhaps but we don't know for sure." M folded her hands on her desk and stared Eve down. "This is your first assignment, 007. We need to find the hacker that is trying to break into our systems and if it is this Q you are to capture him."
"He seems dangerous and I would think eliminating him would be better but he could be useful," Eve said. A hint of a smile curved at M's lips but it faded as soon as it was there.
"Find this hacker before they make it past our firewalls." Eve took that as the dismissal that it was and walked out of M's office file in hand. This was not the job she had been expecting when M said she was being promoted to 00 status. This was glorified desk duty and the last thing she wanted.. In a way Eve knew that this was an important case she was being tasked with, even if it was a little passive for her tastes.
"Who are you, Q?" Eve asked the string of code that had tried to break into MI6 twenty four hours earlier. "And what do you want?"
+++
Since their first job three years ago Bond and Q just never stopped working together. After each job they would talk like they were about to go their separate ways and then something would come along and one of them would say 'all right, just one more job' like it was some sort of hardship. Bond was not entirely sure when they had both abandoned all pretense and just agreed that they worked very well together. Q seemed to always find very interesting jobs stealing various different things from people all over the world. Sometimes Bond had to spend weeks under cover in the workplace of the mark to get a feel for what they were trying to do while Q spent that time coming up with more and more interesting gadgets and weapons. The thing that convinced Bond that Q thought he was in some sort of spy thriller was the blueprints for an exploding pen. When he asked about it later Q just raised an eyebrow and threatened to shoot him in the foot if he went through Q's things again. Bond was quite attached to his feet and as such did not go through Q's things again.
The real problem was that Q never got boring the way other people seemed to. He was young but stodgy that there was no going back. At the same time Q would get giddy like a kid at Christmas at the prospect of hacking certain things and when his gadgets seemed to work. He had a slender frame and while he could not match Bond drink for drink entirely Q could consume an astonishing amount of liquor. Hidden strength was another thing that Q buried behind his thin frame and university student attire. Q seemed to delight in finding new and interesting ways to hide more weapons on Bond in places that no one would think to check. It got to the point where Q was calling him over at such weird times that Bond decided it would be easier to just stay. Now he's definitely going to become boring, Bond had thought, but after the first week it seemed that Q was once again exceeding Bond's expectations.
"He's quite adorable," Vesper commented over dinner three years after Bond had met Q and a year and a half into basic cohabitation. Bond wasn’t sure why he decided to have dinner with Vesper; she was dangerous and there was no telling when she would sell him out again. Yet Vesper, much like Q, was one of those people that Bond didn’t find dull so he continued to indulge her when she called and asked him to meet her for dinner.
"Fairly certain he would shoot you if he heard you describe him like that," Bond replied. Vesper had never seen Q before and he ignored any conversation her and Bond would have on the phone. Vesper shrugged like the prospect of getting shot did not bother her that much. It probably didn't. "Why are you here?"
"Imagine my surprise when I went to your flat and found someone who is not you living there," she said. "And imagine how surprised I was to find out that you're living with someone else. Not just anyone, mind you, but the infamous Q. He does know you were hired to kill him, right?"
“Yes, Vesper, he’s aware of that,” Bond replied. “We work well together so we decided it would be best to continue working together.”
“Are you sleeping with him?” Vesper asked just as Bond took a sip of his drink because of course that’s when she would ask that. This was not the first time Bond had been asked a strange personal question out of the blue and he could react accordingly. Or not react which Vesper looked very disappointed about.
“No, I’m not,” Bond replied simply because it was none of her business. Vesper had lost the right to care who he slept with the moment she decided that money was worth more than whatever they were building. Vesper nodded and they talked shop for the rest of the evening. It was late by the time Bond walked through the door and he was fairly sure that Q had not moved in the last six hours or so.
“I don’t trust her,” Q said as soon as Bond walked through the door.
“I’d be worried if you did,” Bond replied. “I don’t trust her either but she can be useful.” Q hummed in agreement and walked over to his computer. He had long since given up telling Bond to go away while he was working so he said nothing when Bond stood behind the chair and watched him. “You’re trying to hack MI6?”
“Yes,” Q replied easily. “Think of it as an extra credit project. One of my rivals is making himself known again. We need to deal with him but I’m not entirely sure how.”
“Is he wanted in any countries?” Bond asked after a moment of silence. Q nodded as he worked on the computer. “I say we push the authorities in the right direction. If they catch him then that is one less rival we need to deal with.” Q stopped typing for a moment and smiled to himself. Bond knew that smile and it usually only happened when Q found some way to make something that was not normally a weapon into a weapon. “Why are you trying to hack into MI6?”
“It’s not important,” Q replied waving him off. Bond doubted that but decided it was probably best not to push it at the moment.
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