thank you, Pat.
"This world isn't fair, tear it down and throw it away
No one, not a soul can understand all that pain
Intricate lies play on innocent lives, no sweetness in this bitter taste
The world is square when a mother won't see her baby's face
And now the nightmare is waking, a piece of you astray
If there is a god, then by god - you'll meet them at the gates
And your stalt-stained pillow will never taste your tears again
In another place where good people never feel such pain"
I found out on Sunday that I'm going through a miscarriage.
I think the hardest part of that was the fact that I was supposed to find out if my baby was a boy or girl on Monday.
And although my fiance has been wonderful through everything... the quoted words at the top showed me how much my friends have affected me... and how much I affect them...
that was written by Patrick Brannan... in a blog on Sunday night... a person whom used to be one of my closest friends, that I have pretty much... fallen out of contact with for months.
he read my myspace blog about it... and it totally blew his mind.
He called me twice.
he posted a blog just for me.
and that totally blew MY mind.
To have a kid that avoided me for a few months... then hung out with me once... then fell out of contact with me for months... be THAT stressed and shocked by something terrible happening to me... showed me just how much I really mean to the people that I have crossed paths with in life.
Having a miscarriage is a terrible business... there is a lot of of physical pain on top of the emotional pain... there is a lot of finger-pointing... (always me pointing the blame at myself...) There is a lot of crying, and a lot of sleeping until 7 at night, because in the early hours of the day it's just to difficult to be awake... and the time when I should be sleeping is covered up by the pain and the crying and the painkillers that won't let me sleep.
But I still have a lot going for me.
I have the most amazing man in the world by my side through all of this...
We're still going to get married.
We're going to try again for a baby.
I have a great job, with a bunch of truly amazing people.
(Erin Jenkins is my hero... FUCK the Rickler)
And I have a group fo the best friends that any girl could ask for.
I can't let one bad thing ruin my life.
plus... a bunch of my friends are having babies that I can play with until I get on eof my own.
fuckin' YAY!
No one, not a soul can understand all that pain
Intricate lies play on innocent lives, no sweetness in this bitter taste
The world is square when a mother won't see her baby's face
And now the nightmare is waking, a piece of you astray
If there is a god, then by god - you'll meet them at the gates
And your stalt-stained pillow will never taste your tears again
In another place where good people never feel such pain"
I found out on Sunday that I'm going through a miscarriage.
I think the hardest part of that was the fact that I was supposed to find out if my baby was a boy or girl on Monday.
And although my fiance has been wonderful through everything... the quoted words at the top showed me how much my friends have affected me... and how much I affect them...
that was written by Patrick Brannan... in a blog on Sunday night... a person whom used to be one of my closest friends, that I have pretty much... fallen out of contact with for months.
he read my myspace blog about it... and it totally blew his mind.
He called me twice.
he posted a blog just for me.
and that totally blew MY mind.
To have a kid that avoided me for a few months... then hung out with me once... then fell out of contact with me for months... be THAT stressed and shocked by something terrible happening to me... showed me just how much I really mean to the people that I have crossed paths with in life.
Having a miscarriage is a terrible business... there is a lot of of physical pain on top of the emotional pain... there is a lot of finger-pointing... (always me pointing the blame at myself...) There is a lot of crying, and a lot of sleeping until 7 at night, because in the early hours of the day it's just to difficult to be awake... and the time when I should be sleeping is covered up by the pain and the crying and the painkillers that won't let me sleep.
But I still have a lot going for me.
I have the most amazing man in the world by my side through all of this...
We're still going to get married.
We're going to try again for a baby.
I have a great job, with a bunch of truly amazing people.
(Erin Jenkins is my hero... FUCK the Rickler)
And I have a group fo the best friends that any girl could ask for.
I can't let one bad thing ruin my life.
plus... a bunch of my friends are having babies that I can play with until I get on eof my own.
fuckin' YAY!