wherein there is a high probability you will get sick of the word 'because'
So. Because my paid account on LJ is finally running out and I've just realized like the derpface I truly am that it means I won't be getting any more email alerts when someone fills my prompts/the prompts I follow on various kink memes, I'm going to link/repost some of them here. So you can bask in the greatness that is my brain at like 4 in the morning (when I often post kink meme prompts). Because I totally give good prompt.
Avengers, Jarvis/Bruce
I have this picture in my head of Jarvis sort of... liking Bruce, as much as an AI can like a person. He's smart and driven; like Tony but a lot less self-destructive and Jarvis can appreciate that. So Jarvis does things for Bruce that most people would have to ask for first. Things like waking him up gently in the morning (not only because he doesn't want to spook the Other Guy) or having Dummy bring him coffee when he's running low while he works in the lab. Small things but noticeable things. Clint and Tony probably joke that Jarvis has a crush and everybody laughs. Ha ha ha.
But then through some freak occurrence (though it was probably Loki or Doctor Doom's fault) Jarvis the AI gets turned into Jarvis the Human (who looks like Paul Bettany obvs).
And then that crush that everyone joked about turns into a real, true thing. Jarvis the Human ends up with a whole host of romantic feelings towards Bruce that he doesn't understand.
Bonus points for Jarvis eventually trying to seduce/woo Bruce using the techniques he's observed Tony use before.
Extra bonus points for Bruce trying to help Jarvis with his "oh god I'm a human" freak out with some calming techniques.
Yep. Because I wonder about my favorite characters a lot. And sometimes this is the result. Go figure.
Avengers, Tony/Steve, lacy underthings
Tony wears lacy panties under his thousand dollar suits. He wears them under his tuxes when he's out on the town. He wears them under his beat up, grease stained blue jeans when he's working in his workshop. He even wears them under the jumpsuit he wears under his armor.
Steve accidentally discovers this and the knowledge consumes him. He can't think about anything else. At first he thinks it's because it's just weird or wrong or yet another thing about the future he doesn't get... but he soon realizes otherwise.
tl;dr Tony wears lacy underthings. Steve is confused. (And turned on.)
Bonus for Steve catching a peek (after he already knows) at them when Tony wears low slung jeans in the workshop. Flustered!Steve would be aces.
The ONLY reason I'm admiting to this is because Kate used to tell me I had a panty kink and I didn't believe her (not even after I wrote that one horrible LFoDH fic). But this here is proof that I kind of have to force myself to believe it now. /fail
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, College AU
Stiles is a college freshman and Derek is the dormmate from hell.
Because come on. That would be amazing and also, seriously hilarious.
Mass Effect, ManShep/Kaidan, Shep's a mechanic
Shepard became a mechanic because the Alliance wouldn't take him (maybe he's an ex-con?) as a soldier. Where and how does he meet Kaidan Alenko?
Because every fandom deserves a mechanic!AU. Even if it happens in space. :P
Avengers, movieverse Bucky/Tony
So Bucky ends up in the future (how is up to you) and totally hates Tony like, a lot, because a) he's stealing his bff away from him! ;_; and b) he's really, kind of insanely attractive and that is fucking with his head in a major way especially since he's, and how is this his life, right?, he's living in the future now. It's not enough of a mindfuck that Bucky has to deal with night terrors from falling from an epically high distance off a moving train and somehow surviving the fall in the first place and somehow ending up in the future where nothing but Steve makes sense (and hello, Super Soldier, sometimes even he doesn't make sense)? No, of course not because now Bucky has to deal with the future making him gay.
The short version (because the original has a lot of requests that I mostly don't care about now, haha). Because for some reason I like the idea of Bucky and Tony. And I would absolutely write this myself but I couldn't do it justice and there just isn't enough of it (without Steve in some kind of love triangle clusterfuck or a threesome), goddamn it. I'm having a lot of look at your life, look at your choices feels right now. /o\
Mass Effect, ManShep/Vega, Modern Day College AU
Vega's in a frat and Shepard just wants to hit that so hard.
+Shepard totally has a beefcake fetish that he has never fulfilled, i.e. size kink
+TOTALLY UNHELPFUL (in the gay romance department, augh Shepard is surrounded by straight guys) BFFs Garrus and Kaidan. No, srsly, Kaidan wants him to tell Vega about his ~*feelings*~ that he totally doesn't have, shaddup and Garrus just laughs at him.
+sordid half-drunken sex (in Vega's frat brother's bed) during a frat party
+CORTEZ+VEGA AS FRAT BROS
+other romantical plotty things, at your discretion :D
Because. (Vega was totally a frat dude in another universe, I know this to be true.)
Avengers, Clint/Coulson, Bakery AU
Coulson runs his bakery with an iron fist (even pastry chef!Coulson suffers no fools) and Clint is the leather jacketed, motorcycle riding customer who's cocky grin secretly makes his day.
Bonus points for having Darcy as Coulson's long-suffering and longest lived minion employee who thinks they should both get over themselves and bone already.
Because Bakery AUs are the best and so is Coulson. Fucking amazing trope is amazing.
L.A. Noire, Roy Earle/Cole Phelps
So what if Cole's casket is empty? And what if everyone assumes his body just got washed out into the pacific, etc aaand what if he took that as a chance to get out of the downward spiral his life had become?
Cole plans to get lost and leave L.A. for good but he has to pay back the man who helped ruin his life first: Roy Earle.
Preferably this confrontation would end in angry sex (not non-con/dub-con because my headcanon for Roy is that he's wanted to ride Phelps' dick since the moment he first set eyes on the man ((he had a srs case of lust at first sight)) and all the crap he put Phelps through is because Roy Earle is an insanely jealous man) with the plan to never see each other ever again but for some reason every few months Cole Phelps finds his way back in L.A. and Roy's bed.
Because DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. Roy just. Wants it really badly, guys. als;dkfjsd I just. Yeah. I have no excuse for this, there is only shame. *sigh*
Dragon Age, Qunari/Viking AU
b/c i can't help myself and i figure, qunari already have the horns...
so. i want a fic where qunari are vikings in an alternate universe
if some daring anon decides to try their hand at this and also wants to slay me utterly (two birds one very big stone) they could make it f!hawke/viking-king!arishok.
aaaand go!
Because, as I said in a reply to a comment, "Qunari-as-Vikings, pillaging their way across Thedas". Imagine it. Imagine it. *nods* And I also, might probably, possibly, maybe... have a thing for the Arishok. Just. *hands* WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH MYSELF, GUYS?
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, Epic Pining
i just want pining fic, you guys. epic pining fic. the kind that spans years, maybe even decades. the kind that comes with boatloads of ust and misunderstandings and old hurts that aren't easily forgotten. the kind that stays with them even when they've been separated or haven't seen each other for longer than they knew each other in the first place because the heart cannot, will not, forget.
i don't particularly care who pines for who or if they both unknowingly pine for each other or if it's canon-verse or au or whatever.
just.
pining.
Because well, obvious reasons are obvious? PINING~ I pine for good pining fic. The kind that makes you think it's never going to end, they'll pine and hurt and ache forever and then bam. There are confessions of love and lust and ridiculous boys being ridiculous and tentatively happy and domestic and yeah. Idk. Good pining fic is hard to come by, what can I say?
Avengers, Ultimates!Steve/Tony, past Tony/Natasha
I want fic focusing on the immediate aftermath of Tony's relationship with Natasha and how devastated he really is about it. I'd like Cap to awkwardly try and help Tony because he knows that even though they aren't close friends (I never got the feeling Ult Steve and Tony were all that close) and Cap is not really that great with dealing with feelings, he can see that Tony isnt as over the betrayal as he pretends.
I'd like something quiet about how after however long it is they'd known each other they're finally becoming friends and then maybe, possibly more.
Bonus for Cap having to deal with the fact that he just might be gay for Tony Stark and Tony having subtly held a torch for Steve since they first met. Favorite cliche trope is favorite and cliche. Maybe he only dated Natasha at first to distract himself but then actually fell in love with her, making it all the more heartbreaking.
Also, pls don't sidestep the cancer. I consider that a huge part of who Tony was at that point in time.
Because whatever else I may say about Ultimates-verse being a crazy, fucked up universe, I love it so much. They did some really incredibly interesting and touching things with the characters aside all that fuckery and it's kind of a shame fandom hasn't jumped up on that shit like whoa. But guys. Guys, Ult!Natasha ruined Tony. She took his heart and burnt it to a crisp and then she put it through a wood chipper and fucking atomic bombed that shit. The guy has to have been fucked up over it, no matter what he said. Especially after what she did to you-know-who, which. Fucking hell. *pulls hair* I just have a lot of feelings about this. :/
And, okay, there are way more embarrassing (and not so embarrassing but I'm getting lazy now) prompts out there in the wilds of kinkmeme backcountry (because anon!me has no shame, hel-lo) but I won't post them here. I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't shatter that perfectly formed image I'm sure you all have of me with that even though I bet I've got you wondering now ;D because I am a gentlewoman (a lady however, I am most definitely not) and I don't actually want you to turn and run screaming for the hills, duh.
AND LASTLY, a Teen Wolf fic rec: Differential Equations by hedgerose, Derek/Stiles, Derek/Kate. Wherein there are feels and a lot of old pain, some fucking fantastic backstory, and some serious discussion about the whole age difference thing. I don't know about everyone else but I thought the ending was perfect.
(omg you guys, I fucking ramble like a chipmunk on crack sometimes. If you made it all the way through that I am so sorry please accept this gift of a bucket of all my fucking love, okay? <3)
ETA: I literally just got a reply that someone is going to fill the Bakery AU. Five seconds after I posted this. *blinks*
Crossposted at Dreamwidth | http://pajaroenvuelo.dreamwidth.org/55675.html
Avengers, Jarvis/Bruce
I have this picture in my head of Jarvis sort of... liking Bruce, as much as an AI can like a person. He's smart and driven; like Tony but a lot less self-destructive and Jarvis can appreciate that. So Jarvis does things for Bruce that most people would have to ask for first. Things like waking him up gently in the morning (not only because he doesn't want to spook the Other Guy) or having Dummy bring him coffee when he's running low while he works in the lab. Small things but noticeable things. Clint and Tony probably joke that Jarvis has a crush and everybody laughs. Ha ha ha.
But then through some freak occurrence (though it was probably Loki or Doctor Doom's fault) Jarvis the AI gets turned into Jarvis the Human (who looks like Paul Bettany obvs).
And then that crush that everyone joked about turns into a real, true thing. Jarvis the Human ends up with a whole host of romantic feelings towards Bruce that he doesn't understand.
Bonus points for Jarvis eventually trying to seduce/woo Bruce using the techniques he's observed Tony use before.
Extra bonus points for Bruce trying to help Jarvis with his "oh god I'm a human" freak out with some calming techniques.
Yep. Because I wonder about my favorite characters a lot. And sometimes this is the result. Go figure.
Avengers, Tony/Steve, lacy underthings
Tony wears lacy panties under his thousand dollar suits. He wears them under his tuxes when he's out on the town. He wears them under his beat up, grease stained blue jeans when he's working in his workshop. He even wears them under the jumpsuit he wears under his armor.
Steve accidentally discovers this and the knowledge consumes him. He can't think about anything else. At first he thinks it's because it's just weird or wrong or yet another thing about the future he doesn't get... but he soon realizes otherwise.
tl;dr Tony wears lacy underthings. Steve is confused. (And turned on.)
Bonus for Steve catching a peek (after he already knows) at them when Tony wears low slung jeans in the workshop. Flustered!Steve would be aces.
The ONLY reason I'm admiting to this is because Kate used to tell me I had a panty kink and I didn't believe her (not even after I wrote that one horrible LFoDH fic). But this here is proof that I kind of have to force myself to believe it now. /fail
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, College AU
Stiles is a college freshman and Derek is the dormmate from hell.
Because come on. That would be amazing and also, seriously hilarious.
Mass Effect, ManShep/Kaidan, Shep's a mechanic
Shepard became a mechanic because the Alliance wouldn't take him (maybe he's an ex-con?) as a soldier. Where and how does he meet Kaidan Alenko?
Because every fandom deserves a mechanic!AU. Even if it happens in space. :P
Avengers, movieverse Bucky/Tony
So Bucky ends up in the future (how is up to you) and totally hates Tony like, a lot, because a) he's stealing his bff away from him! ;_; and b) he's really, kind of insanely attractive and that is fucking with his head in a major way especially since he's, and how is this his life, right?, he's living in the future now. It's not enough of a mindfuck that Bucky has to deal with night terrors from falling from an epically high distance off a moving train and somehow surviving the fall in the first place and somehow ending up in the future where nothing but Steve makes sense (and hello, Super Soldier, sometimes even he doesn't make sense)? No, of course not because now Bucky has to deal with the future making him gay.
The short version (because the original has a lot of requests that I mostly don't care about now, haha). Because for some reason I like the idea of Bucky and Tony. And I would absolutely write this myself but I couldn't do it justice and there just isn't enough of it (without Steve in some kind of love triangle clusterfuck or a threesome), goddamn it. I'm having a lot of look at your life, look at your choices feels right now. /o\
Mass Effect, ManShep/Vega, Modern Day College AU
Vega's in a frat and Shepard just wants to hit that so hard.
+Shepard totally has a beefcake fetish that he has never fulfilled, i.e. size kink
+TOTALLY UNHELPFUL (in the gay romance department, augh Shepard is surrounded by straight guys) BFFs Garrus and Kaidan. No, srsly, Kaidan wants him to tell Vega about his ~*feelings*~ that he totally doesn't have, shaddup and Garrus just laughs at him.
+sordid half-drunken sex (in Vega's frat brother's bed) during a frat party
+CORTEZ+VEGA AS FRAT BROS
+other romantical plotty things, at your discretion :D
Because. (Vega was totally a frat dude in another universe, I know this to be true.)
Avengers, Clint/Coulson, Bakery AU
Coulson runs his bakery with an iron fist (even pastry chef!Coulson suffers no fools) and Clint is the leather jacketed, motorcycle riding customer who's cocky grin secretly makes his day.
Bonus points for having Darcy as Coulson's long-suffering and longest lived minion employee who thinks they should both get over themselves and bone already.
Because Bakery AUs are the best and so is Coulson. Fucking amazing trope is amazing.
L.A. Noire, Roy Earle/Cole Phelps
So what if Cole's casket is empty? And what if everyone assumes his body just got washed out into the pacific, etc aaand what if he took that as a chance to get out of the downward spiral his life had become?
Cole plans to get lost and leave L.A. for good but he has to pay back the man who helped ruin his life first: Roy Earle.
Preferably this confrontation would end in angry sex (not non-con/dub-con because my headcanon for Roy is that he's wanted to ride Phelps' dick since the moment he first set eyes on the man ((he had a srs case of lust at first sight)) and all the crap he put Phelps through is because Roy Earle is an insanely jealous man) with the plan to never see each other ever again but for some reason every few months Cole Phelps finds his way back in L.A. and Roy's bed.
Because DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT. Roy just. Wants it really badly, guys. als;dkfjsd I just. Yeah. I have no excuse for this, there is only shame. *sigh*
Dragon Age, Qunari/Viking AU
b/c i can't help myself and i figure, qunari already have the horns...
so. i want a fic where qunari are vikings in an alternate universe
if some daring anon decides to try their hand at this and also wants to slay me utterly (two birds one very big stone) they could make it f!hawke/viking-king!arishok.
aaaand go!
Because, as I said in a reply to a comment, "Qunari-as-Vikings, pillaging their way across Thedas". Imagine it. Imagine it. *nods* And I also, might probably, possibly, maybe... have a thing for the Arishok. Just. *hands* WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO WITH MYSELF, GUYS?
Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles, Epic Pining
i just want pining fic, you guys. epic pining fic. the kind that spans years, maybe even decades. the kind that comes with boatloads of ust and misunderstandings and old hurts that aren't easily forgotten. the kind that stays with them even when they've been separated or haven't seen each other for longer than they knew each other in the first place because the heart cannot, will not, forget.
i don't particularly care who pines for who or if they both unknowingly pine for each other or if it's canon-verse or au or whatever.
just.
pining.
Because well, obvious reasons are obvious? PINING~ I pine for good pining fic. The kind that makes you think it's never going to end, they'll pine and hurt and ache forever and then bam. There are confessions of love and lust and ridiculous boys being ridiculous and tentatively happy and domestic and yeah. Idk. Good pining fic is hard to come by, what can I say?
Avengers, Ultimates!Steve/Tony, past Tony/Natasha
I want fic focusing on the immediate aftermath of Tony's relationship with Natasha and how devastated he really is about it. I'd like Cap to awkwardly try and help Tony because he knows that even though they aren't close friends (I never got the feeling Ult Steve and Tony were all that close) and Cap is not really that great with dealing with feelings, he can see that Tony isnt as over the betrayal as he pretends.
I'd like something quiet about how after however long it is they'd known each other they're finally becoming friends and then maybe, possibly more.
Bonus for Cap having to deal with the fact that he just might be gay for Tony Stark and Tony having subtly held a torch for Steve since they first met. Favorite cliche trope is favorite and cliche. Maybe he only dated Natasha at first to distract himself but then actually fell in love with her, making it all the more heartbreaking.
Also, pls don't sidestep the cancer. I consider that a huge part of who Tony was at that point in time.
Because whatever else I may say about Ultimates-verse being a crazy, fucked up universe, I love it so much. They did some really incredibly interesting and touching things with the characters aside all that fuckery and it's kind of a shame fandom hasn't jumped up on that shit like whoa. But guys. Guys, Ult!Natasha ruined Tony. She took his heart and burnt it to a crisp and then she put it through a wood chipper and fucking atomic bombed that shit. The guy has to have been fucked up over it, no matter what he said. Especially after what she did to you-know-who, which. Fucking hell. *pulls hair* I just have a lot of feelings about this. :/
And, okay, there are way more embarrassing (and not so embarrassing but I'm getting lazy now) prompts out there in the wilds of kinkmeme backcountry (because anon!me has no shame, hel-lo) but I won't post them here. I wouldn't do that to you. I wouldn't shatter that perfectly formed image I'm sure you all have of me with that even though I bet I've got you wondering now ;D because I am a gentlewoman (a lady however, I am most definitely not) and I don't actually want you to turn and run screaming for the hills, duh.
AND LASTLY, a Teen Wolf fic rec: Differential Equations by hedgerose, Derek/Stiles, Derek/Kate. Wherein there are feels and a lot of old pain, some fucking fantastic backstory, and some serious discussion about the whole age difference thing. I don't know about everyone else but I thought the ending was perfect.
(omg you guys, I fucking ramble like a chipmunk on crack sometimes. If you made it all the way through that I am so sorry please accept this gift of a bucket of all my fucking love, okay? <3)
ETA: I literally just got a reply that someone is going to fill the Bakery AU. Five seconds after I posted this. *blinks*
Crossposted at Dreamwidth | http://pajaroenvuelo.dreamwidth.org/55675.html