(no subject)
I put a userpic up, and I don't like it. But I'm too lazy to take it down.
I have been so tired lately that I am almost unable to walk sometimes. School is not even 1/4 into the semester quite yet and I already feel too exhausted to go. I have to give myself credit for doing jack shit and still making decent marks, though. Due to no money I haven't bought any books for any of my classes, which I know I will eventually need desperately. I have been so physically sick and exhausted that I'm unable to concentrate on studying, it's pretty terrible and frustrating. And I know it's all because I'm a jackass. I fight with myself more than anyone in the entire world. Then when I lose a battle, I start to fight with other people for no reason.
My apartment is a disaster because I have been too tired to clean. Maybe if I just drank a pot of coffee and dedicated the rest of my evening to cleaning and put everything away, not seeing the clutter everywhere would clear my head. That's feng shui basics anyway, and for a good reason. I tried to throw out a ton of "crap" yesterday, but only came up with one bag of donations. I know there by all means should have been 8 bags of things I just don't need. uhg. It's also pretty pathetic that I have been here three months and there is STILL shit in boxes.
I'm rambling. Nothing important is going on. We might go to the corn maze tonight or go out and see a movie.
Either way, I realized that almost all of my friends gave up on me and wrote me off because they must think I'm not serious when I say that I'm always busy. Sometimes I feel sort of insulted, but mostly I've learned not to care anymore. Yeah, my life isn't serious, it's a big joke, thanks. Whatever.
I look horrid lately. I can't stand looking in the mirror anymore because I'm so stressed and it's made me look so ugly. I can't stand my face or anything about my appearance, and it actually made me start crying. *sigh*.
Oh, Josh and I dared my dad to jump off a cliff into Candlewood Lake, and he did. My dad is awesome.
http://v1.tinypic.com/player.swf?file=data36/45/3z8y7v9
I have been so tired lately that I am almost unable to walk sometimes. School is not even 1/4 into the semester quite yet and I already feel too exhausted to go. I have to give myself credit for doing jack shit and still making decent marks, though. Due to no money I haven't bought any books for any of my classes, which I know I will eventually need desperately. I have been so physically sick and exhausted that I'm unable to concentrate on studying, it's pretty terrible and frustrating. And I know it's all because I'm a jackass. I fight with myself more than anyone in the entire world. Then when I lose a battle, I start to fight with other people for no reason.
My apartment is a disaster because I have been too tired to clean. Maybe if I just drank a pot of coffee and dedicated the rest of my evening to cleaning and put everything away, not seeing the clutter everywhere would clear my head. That's feng shui basics anyway, and for a good reason. I tried to throw out a ton of "crap" yesterday, but only came up with one bag of donations. I know there by all means should have been 8 bags of things I just don't need. uhg. It's also pretty pathetic that I have been here three months and there is STILL shit in boxes.
I'm rambling. Nothing important is going on. We might go to the corn maze tonight or go out and see a movie.
Either way, I realized that almost all of my friends gave up on me and wrote me off because they must think I'm not serious when I say that I'm always busy. Sometimes I feel sort of insulted, but mostly I've learned not to care anymore. Yeah, my life isn't serious, it's a big joke, thanks. Whatever.
I look horrid lately. I can't stand looking in the mirror anymore because I'm so stressed and it's made me look so ugly. I can't stand my face or anything about my appearance, and it actually made me start crying. *sigh*.
Oh, Josh and I dared my dad to jump off a cliff into Candlewood Lake, and he did. My dad is awesome.
http://v1.tinypic.com/player.swf?file=data36/45/3z8y7v9