(no subject)
What do you do when they both say they're not going to give up with out a fight? Ambush you in the night with "and by the way I'm still in love with you. how do you like them apples?"
What happens when you dono how to let go? Can't let go of feelings for B and can't let go, forgive and give in to M. Both have said they don't want to loose me.
I ran away from one to another state already once on some levels because of the same things. And the other still doesn't really acknowledge the other existing on many levels.
I'm glad he's getting his confidence back. I just didn't count on how that confidence would effect me.
I just want me. I don't want to cry anymore. I want me. I want what makes me happy. I want to flirt shamelessly with B because it doesn't make me cry. It makes me feel human again. Makes me want to wear makeup now and again.
Telling you that I can't return your sentiment doesn't make me happy. It makes me cry. I've done a lot over the years to avoid conflict and to make the people around me happy. It's time I look after me.
Just because we don't fight and we get along doesn't mean we can just get back together. We tried that remember? And I can't tell you what you want to hear just because I know it would make you happy.
So I cry. I cry because I'm hurting and because I'm causing hurt. I cry because my life is upside down and I'm not sure which way to swim to get to air. And every time I start to think I can breathe a little these things happen and I'm left hurting again.
Just leave things be. If they happen they happen. I hate this.
What happens when you dono how to let go? Can't let go of feelings for B and can't let go, forgive and give in to M. Both have said they don't want to loose me.
I ran away from one to another state already once on some levels because of the same things. And the other still doesn't really acknowledge the other existing on many levels.
I'm glad he's getting his confidence back. I just didn't count on how that confidence would effect me.
I just want me. I don't want to cry anymore. I want me. I want what makes me happy. I want to flirt shamelessly with B because it doesn't make me cry. It makes me feel human again. Makes me want to wear makeup now and again.
Telling you that I can't return your sentiment doesn't make me happy. It makes me cry. I've done a lot over the years to avoid conflict and to make the people around me happy. It's time I look after me.
Just because we don't fight and we get along doesn't mean we can just get back together. We tried that remember? And I can't tell you what you want to hear just because I know it would make you happy.
So I cry. I cry because I'm hurting and because I'm causing hurt. I cry because my life is upside down and I'm not sure which way to swim to get to air. And every time I start to think I can breathe a little these things happen and I'm left hurting again.
Just leave things be. If they happen they happen. I hate this.