Harry/Draco - Nightmares and Daydreams (2/3)
Title: Nightmares and daydreams
Author: Bloodstrom
Length: ~15,000 words
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Mentions of torture, guy on guy action, if you needed warning about that
Summary: Harry and Draco find themselves growing closer when Draco starts helping Harry with his nightmares
Authors note: This was written for the Draco tops Harry fest, for a prompt that can be found here. It's also my first time writing slash, and my first time writing anything this long. Thank you to wendypops and snowcrystal86 for betaing this. It wouldn't be half the story it is now if you hadn't helped me out!
Maybe I should just start sleeping in his bed Draco thought to himself as he padded across the dormitory. Then I wouldn’t have to get out from under my blankets. Draco didn’t bother hesitating now. He climbed into Harry’s bed, closing the curtains behind him.
“Wake up Harry,” he ordered, and Harry’s eyes snapped open and darted around, trying to remember where he was. When his eyes settled on Draco’s dim form hovering above him, he gasped softly and pulled Draco down towards him, where he clung onto him like he was the last real thing in the world. After puzzling for a moment over where to put his arms, Draco ended up draping them around Harry’s shoulders.
Maybe I really should start sleeping with him Draco wondered, his fingers finding their way back to Harry’s hair. “Want me to tell you another story?” Draco asked, unable to keep the slight teasing out of his tone. Harry nodded against his chest, and Draco knew just what would make Harry smile.
“On my seventh birthday, my mother made me a cake. Usually we have house elves prepare our food, but my mum has always had a knack with baking, and this was the first year she ever made me a cake herself. It was wonderful.” Draco let himself get lost in the memory as he stroked Harry’s back gently.
“It was chocolate, with strawberries in the middle. It had white butter cream icing with green trim for my name, and these little silver candies that she had charmed to hum the birthday song. I was so excited that when she gave me my slice I picked it up and started eating it with my hands. My stuffier relatives were scandalized, but Greg and Vince joined right in. By the time I was done my second slice, I had icing all over my face, a strawberry in my hair, and one of the candies had gotten lost in the carpet. We could hear that humming for weeks.”
Harry laughed, which was the only thing Draco needed at that moment. He smiled down into the mop of unruly hair at his chin. “My mum has a picture of me on that day. She hung it up in the family room, though my father was loath to let something that undignified be put on display. Every birthday after that I ate my cake with my hands. By the time I was 13, it had rather lost its appeal, but I did it for her. It was our little tradition.”
Draco smiled at the memory as he idly wondered when Harry had started rubbing his back as well, and bloody hell, were the two of them actually cuddling? Draco took quick stock of the situation. Harry’s arms were around him, and he was moving his hand in small circles on Draco’s back. Draco’s arms were around Harry, and not only was he rubbing his back, but he was petting his hair too. They were pressed up against each other, Harry’s leg had found its way between his, and Draco was pretty much kissing the top of his head. Bloody hell, what have I gotten myself into? Draco thought, shaking his head. Then he sneezed as some hair tickled his nose.
“What’s wrong?” asked Harry. Draco shook his head again. This whole thing was mad.
“I don’t know how to tell you this Potter, but I think we’re cuddling.”
Draco felt Harry tense in his arms, and could almost hear him going through the same thoughts he just had.
“Do you mind?” Harry ventured quietly, after a moment of contemplation.
That was a good question. Draco could admit to himself that he liked it. It was a bit harder to admit that he liked it because it was Harry in his arms, but he figured he didn’t need to tell Harry that.
“I don’t mind. You’re warmer than my blanket at any rate, and if I have to abandon that every night to be saving your sorry arse from dream monsters, I figure you owe it to me to keep me cozy.”
“Good,” replied Harry, “because I am rather too comfy to move.” Instead, he held Draco a bit tighter and let out a rather self satisfied sigh. “G’night Draco,” Harry murmured, before dropping back into sleep.
Draco spared a brief thought for the bizarre turn his life had taken before spelling the curtains closed and joining Harry in sleep.
* * *
“You’re looking rather chipper this morning,” quipped Hermione when Harry sat down for breakfast. “Good sleep?”
“You could say that.”
Hermione raised her eyebrow. “So the dreams have stopped?”
“Not exactly,” Harry said looking down as he tried to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks. He didn’t want to explain to Hermione that Draco Malfoy was helping him more than all her carefully researched cures. He really didn’t want to tell her exactly how he was helping. Hermione would read way too deep into the fact that having Draco in his bed was better for him than a good dreamless sleep potion.
“Harry?” Hermione said, her tone implying that she expected an explanation. Harry shook his head. “Is it a girl?”
“Subtle, Hermione,” countered Harry.
“So it is, then? I knew it! You’ve been staring at nothing just as much as usual, but now you look happy.”
“Do I do that often?” With a nod from Hermione he groaned. “Damn. I really don’t notice.”
“Hmm, I would never have guessed. So anyway, who is she?”
“Hermione, there really isn’t any girl.” Harry was glad that this was the technical truth, because Hermione seemed to have developed a nose for lies. He swore that she could smell them sometimes.
Right on cue, her nostrils flared. Then her eyebrows went down in her trademark problem solving face, and eventually she nodded.
“Well, whatever you’re doing, I’m glad it’s working.”
“Yeah, me too.”
The rest of the day went by as it usually did. Harry barely remembered any classes, either from that day or from the rest of the year. He was passing, however that was mostly thanks to his magic almost doubling since defeating Voldemort. Homework was just as difficult as ever, but he never worked hard in class. Even Potions was easy, thanks to the Prince, and the new teacher who didn’t spend his entire time victimizing Harry or grovelling at his feet.
The only change came that night as he got ready for bed. As he finished changing into his pyjamas, he listened as one by one the others whispered their silencing spells.
“Does that bother you?”
Harry let out a rather undignified squeak and spun around to find Draco sitting on his bed.
“Not really, I told them to in the first place, and why are you in my bed?” Harry was panting a bit, trying to get his heart back under control. Draco had the presence of mind not to laugh at him, or at least not to show it.
“I figured I was going to end up here anyway, and this just saves me the journey across the room. It gets rather cold in here at night, or hadn’t you noticed?”
Harry could only shake his head. “Come on then,” Harry said, climbing past him and tugging the covers out from under Draco’s butt. “I guess it’s my turn to be the pillow?”
“Oh Harry, you want to cuddle again? I didn’t know you cared!” Harry didn’t even bother to glare at Draco. He held the blanket open in a wordless invitation, and Draco slipped in with a small smirk.
If anyone had asked Harry a year ago how cuddling with Draco would be, awkward would have been the lightest way to put it. But even the small shuffling as the two of them settled in was friendly and almost cozy. Draco ended up in the crook of Harry’s arm, his head and hand resting on Harry’s chest.
“Mmmm,” sighed Harry as they settled down. He put his hand over Draco’s, almost intertwining their fingers. “You’re warm.”
Draco merely chuckled., moving his fingers to squeeze Harry’s hand. “Good night Potter”
“Night Draco.”
* * *
This time, Draco woke up violently. Harry was screaming and bucking wildly, throwing Draco off his chest and kicking him in the shin.
“Bloody buggering FUCK! Wake the fuck UP Harry!” Draco yelled, holding on to his injured leg. “That fucking…” Draco trailed off as he looked back at Harry. The scars on his wrist had started bleeding as if they had just been cut. His own hurt was forgotten. “Harry, Harry, are you alright?”
Harry had woken up enough to shake his head, tears dripping down his face. Draco scrambled for his wand, and put a quick numbing charm on Harry’s wrist before he went about trying to heal the wounds. By the time he was done, Harry was trembling, his arm limp in Draco’s grasp.
Draco lay Harry’s arm down by his side, being careful not to jar the tender skin, and then pulled Harry into his arms.
“You want to talk about it?” he asked. Harry took a deep shuddering breath.
“I don’t think you want to hear it.”
“Because of my father?” Harry nodded, turning to Draco and burying his face in the other boy’s shoulder. Draco held him as he cried, and thought for a second whether he could handle it. His father had been a right bastard to him growing up. Punishments were swift, harsh, and sometimes unnecessary, but he had never tortured him. Then again, he already knew that his father had tortured others.
“You need to talk Harry. I can deal. And if I start having nightmares, then you can hold me.” Harry didn’t laugh, but then Draco hadn’t expected him to.
“You remember when I first got to your house?” Draco nodded his agreement. “Well, after the stinging hex wore off and everyone saw who I really was, they decided that they could get some information out of me before they called their precious Dark Lord.” He spat the last bit out in a high pitched voice, leading Draco to believe that his aunt had spent quite a bit of time expounding on her favourite subject.
“Hermione, Ron and I were put in separate cells. Far enough away that we couldn’t talk without shouting, but close enough that we could hear each other scream. None of us actually knew anything, because we hadn’t had contact with the Order since the beginning of the year, but they still tied us up and…” Draco held Harry tighter as he gathered his thoughts.
“Hermione was flogged. The wounds healed, but they had rubbed something on her while she was still bleeding. Each mark was stained black. Ron got all his fingernails pulled off. Both of them had all their fingers broken. And those are only the things that they’ve told me. There are probably many other things that happened, but I don’t really want to know how else they suffered.
“I’m the only one with nightmares though. During our imprisonment, they put a spell on me. Every time I went to sleep, I would dream I was back here at Hogwarts. Sometimes I sat through a class before I woke up, and sometimes I went through an entire day with Hermione and Ron by my side, learning, doing homework, playing Quidditch, and then I would wake up to more pain.
“The dreams felt so real that I eventually thought that they were, hoped they were. But every time I woke up, I had to face reality again. When we finally escaped, the dreams stopped. For the rest of the war, I could have a full night’s sleep. Then they started again when I was at Ron’s house. This time, I dreamt of Lucius or Bellatrix standing over me with knives. There was a new torture every night, and I always woke up screaming. No one could do anything about it, so I eventually just told them to ignore me.”
Draco pulled back to look at Harry, who was staring very pointedly at his chest. “You told them to ignore you? What are you, some sort of closet masochist? They could have woken you up at the very least!”
“And then what?” Harry snapped, looking in Draco’s eyes for the first time since they had woken up. “They always wanted me to talk to them, even though they knew what was going on, exactly what I dreamed every night. Ron always looked at me with pity, and Hermione pumped me for every detail, convinced that she could somehow find a cure.”
“Bitch,” Draco swore, which earned him a slap on the arm.
“Maybe sometimes, but she’s still my friend.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey, Harry…” Draco swallowed as a thought struck him. “My father didn’t… he didn’t…”
“Rape us?” Harry filled in with cool detachment. Draco nodded, and suddenly he was the one being comforted.
“He didn’t. He talked about it, but he always said that he would never touch Mudbloods and blood traitors.”
Draco relaxed into Harry’s touch. Looking at Harry’s arm and its network of scar tissue, a new thought formed in his mind.
“Have you tried having these healed?” He asked, tracing them with his fingers.
“They were healed magically before we escaped. We had healers look at all our wounds, but the only way was to re-open them. We chose not to.”
The thought of having to live through the torture once was enough to give Draco nightmares, but having to go through it again could drive someone insane.
Draco had drawn Harry’s arm towards his face so he could see the scars better, and before he could give it any thought, he kissed the one nearest to his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, feeling the uneven skin against his lips.
“For what?” Harry asked just as quietly, now staring at Draco’s lips on his arm.
“That you won’t ever be rid of these.” Draco was surprised to feel a tear leak out of his eye. Harry brushed it away without comment. “This is silly. I’m suppose to be comforting you! I did nothing during the war. I went to school, I sucked up to teachers, and when you were at the manor, I was sitting in my room twiddling my thumbs! You had to live through this! You shouldn’t have to comfort me.”
Draco tried to twist away from Harry, but Harry had his face in his hands, and he was forced to look into the green eyes that were now mere inches from his face.
“We all have our demons,” Harry said. “You’re helping me with mine. The least I can do is help with yours.”
“How am I helping? All I do is wake you up.”
Harry chuckled softly. “Also, you talk to me, you hold me when I need to feel something real, and you... ground me, I guess. When I got back to Hogwarts, I couldn’t tell what was a dream and what was real. I still can’t, not really. All my classes seem to be a blur, and though I can perform every spell, I can’t ever remember learning them. Every day is just like back in the dungeons.
“But when I’m with you, I know that I’m awake and safe, because you were never nice to me in my dreams. In my dreams we only fought, because that’s all that we did in real life. When you told me about your childhood, I knew that I couldn’t have dreamed that. And I definitely would never have dreamed of us cuddling.” Harry ended with another chuckle, bordering on a laugh as he slid his fingers through Draco’s hair.
“Even if I had dreamt this, I don’t think your hair would have been this soft.”
Now it was Draco’s turn to laugh. “So what you’re saying is that I make you feel safe.”
“It is kind of hard to believe, isn’t it?” Harry laughed softly even as he once again pushed his face into the crook of Draco’s neck. “Is this strange for you at all?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I just don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you.”
“Harry, do you really think that I would crawl into your bed and hold you every night if it made me feel awkward? I would have just shaken you awake and gone back to my bed.”
Harry nodded absently, and followed it with a yawn. “So are you saying that you actually wanted to cuddle?”
“If that helps you sleep at night,” responded Draco with an eye roll. He felt Harry laugh, the soft vibrations spreading into his body, and Draco suddenly felt closer to him than he had in the past nights.
“Of course it helps me sleep at night. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Are you sure? I might have found some other reason to sneak into your bed.” Draco accompanied his near admission with a kiss. It was just on the top of his head, but Harry still started.
“Draco?”
“Go to sleep, Harry,” Draco admonished. He could feel Harry settle back down, and stole another quick kiss before he was drifting off to sleep as well.
* * *
When Harry woke up, Draco was already back in his own bed, and Harry was left with a vague feeling of loss. He knew that Draco couldn’t be in his bed when their dorm mates woke, as it would raise far too many awkward questions, but Harry found himself wishing that he could have woken up in Draco’s arms.
He could imagine opening up the curtains to watch the early morning sunlight play on Draco’s skin. He could see Draco waking up to smile at him and draw him closer. Draco would put a hand under his chin and tilt his head up just enough that their lips could meet, and Harry would run his hands down Draco’s back like he had so many times before.
Harry lay in silence, basking in the peace of the thought, before it even occurred to him that he was daydreaming about kissing Draco. He shook his head, trying to drive the picture of Draco’s smooth chest out of his head, but it brought on memories of Draco’s fingers carding through his hair, and he dropped his head back to his pillow.
How was he going to face Draco again? How was he going to sleep in the same bed without giving something away? Harry worried all day, trying to find a way to ignore Draco and not hurt his feelings, and trying to convince himself that he didn’t find Draco’s hair attractive in the slightest.
Harry ended up worrying for nothing. He fell asleep in the common room just after supper, and Ron had to wake him up and tell him to go to bed. By the time the rest of the boys settled in, Harry was curled up under his blanket, his glasses still on his nose.
* * *
Harry’s life took on a comfortable routine after that. He would wake up alone in his bed and go down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione. They spent their time talking about school, trying to get back to a normal life. He would go to class and try to pay attention, have lunch, have supper, do homework and then go to bed.
Bed time was his favourite part of the day. After his first day of panic, Harry realized that he was in a rather pleasant situation. He got to sleep with the object of his affections every night. He got to be held and caressed by him, and, when Draco thought he was asleep, Harry could feel him press kisses into his hair.
The two started to grow closer. Some nights, they would stay up late talking, sharing their vastly different childhoods. Harry learned that when Draco was eight, he wanted to be a gardener, and so his mother gave him a small section of the garden to work in. It was still his, and he still kept it during the summer. Harry wished he could see it, even though he had no desire to ever go near that Manor again.
Harry also learned that Draco’s mother was almost as nice as Ron’s. After everything Draco told him, Harry wasn’t surprised that she didn’t have the Dark Mark. When Harry asked, Draco confided that his mother only supported the Dark Lord for Draco’s sake. If Narcissa had opposed Lucius’ choice to follow Voldemort, their marriage would have been tense, to say the least, and if they were to separate, Lucius would have won custody over Draco.
In return for his stories, Harry told Draco about his life before Hogwarts. He told Draco more about his life than he had ever told Ron or Hermione. They didn’t know that he once cut his finger while making supper. It bled much more than it should have, and Harry almost passed out from the loss. When Uncle Vernon found him sitting on the floor, he sent Harry to his closet for bleeding on the supper.
Every night, when Harry woke screaming or crying or bleeding, Draco held him and healed him and let him cry. The one night that Draco had a nightmare, Harry soothed him and stroked his hair and it was Draco’s turn to cry.
Other things started to change as well. Hermione took to Draco rather quickly once the opportunity presented itself. Harry asked him a question about the homework, Draco replied with an answer that Harry didn’t really understand, but Hermione jumped on it like cat on a mouse and the two of them were quickly debating the translation of a runic symbol and Harry was left to muddle through his homework with Ron.
For his part, Ron was adjusting rather well to the addition of Draco to Harry’s friend list. It helped that Draco was making an effort not to antagonize Ron, and after Hermione gave him a solid dressing down, Ron really had no choice but to at least tolerate Draco’s company.
* * *
“Draco,” Harry whimpered from his usual position on Draco’s shoulder, “it’s not right. This feels like a dream.”
“Harry?” Draco had almost settled down to sleep. Harry hadn’t said anything for a while, and he had been sure Harry had fallen asleep again.
“It’s the same,” Harry continued. “Every night it’s the same. Everything’s the same. How can I know that it’s real if nothing changes?” Harry started sobbing quietly. Draco was used to Harry crying, but this sounded defeated. Like Harry was giving up hope.
“Harry,” Draco said, but Harry only sobbed louder. “Harry! Look at me!” Draco grabbed Harry by the chin and forced his head up. “Tell me, what do you need?”
Harry squirmed, trying to look away from Draco. “I don’t know, I just need something new!”
Harry looked like he was falling apart, so Draco did the first thing that came to his mind. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Harry’s. It was a soft, slow kiss, neither of them moving, with just enough pressure that Draco could feel the warmth of Harry’s mouth.
“Would I do that if this was a dream, Harry?” Draco pulled away, just far enough that his lips were still brushing against Harry’s.
“Maybe,” Harry breathed, his breath ghosting across Draco’s face. His voice had changed from panicked to stunned. He had the air of someone who had been startled into telling the truth. The shakes that had been wracking his body were quickly fading.
“You dream about me kissing you?” Draco ran his hand up the side of Harry’s face, and could feel his cheeks warm up as a blush spread across them. Well, if Harry wanted Draco to kiss him, he wasn’t going to say no. He leaned back in, and this time he gently closed his mouth over Harry’s bottom lip. He drew it into his mouth and slowly ran his tongue along it. “Am I any good in these dreams?”
“I-I haven’t had any dreams.” Draco smiled at the stutter. If Harry sounded like that after just a small kiss, he couldn’t wait until they moved onto bigger and better things, and that thought exited him a lot more than it had right to.
“Really? Then have you wanted to?” Draco pulled back enough to see Harry screw his eyes shut and nod very slightly. Draco felt a small thrill go up his spine, and something suddenly clicked into place. No matter that a day ago he was only thinking of Harry as his bed mate, not his bedmate, and that he had never given any thought to experimenting with men. This was Harry, and as everything was with Harry, it was absolutely intoxicating.
“Harry, if this was a dream my father sent you, you can be sure that I wouldn’t be the one kissing you. And if this were your dream, then you can be sure it wouldn’t feel this good.” Draco pulled Harry back to him, and kissed each corner of his mouth. “You can kiss me back you know,” he whispered.
So Harry did. It was sweet, the way he kissed. Hesitant, like he didn’t know what to do. Draco moved one hand to the back of his neck and drew Harry in closer, this time focusing on his top lip, nibbling it just hard enough to make Harry gasp. Draco briefly invaded Harry’s mouth and brushed their tongues together.
Harry jerked, and his hands flew to Draco’s hair, tangling fingers in soft blond strands. Draco tried to smile, but gave up in favour of teasing Harry with his tongue. Harry was panting through his nose, and Draco was quickly realizing that neither of them were wearing shirts. His skin was so soft, and Draco pressed forward, trying to touch as much of it as he could.
Harry felt hot under Draco’s hands, and he was now kissing Draco back with enthusiasm. When Harry made a bold move and captured Draco’s tongue with his teeth, Draco’s hips jerked, and the feeling of Harry’s cock filling on his leg drew a long moan from his throat.
“You need some more Harry?” Draco murmured, trying to stay in control as he worked a finger under the waistband of Harry’s pants. He had to stop himself from simply diving back into the kiss when Harry’s eyes fluttered.
“Only if you want to.”
Draco had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he ground their crotches together, their erections falling tantalizingly close to each other.
“Draco,” Harry whimpered in a strangled tone, and Draco had to lean back in to try to capture his tongue. While Harry was busy trying to keep up with Draco’s lips, Draco sneaked a hand around to the front of Harry’s pants and softly cupped his cock.
“Fuck!” Harry growled as he pressed himself into Draco’s hand.
“Like that?” Draco asked as he looked Harry in the eyes and squeezed.
“Fuck!” Harry cried again, his hands scrambling over Draco’s back. He threw his head back as Draco trailed his hand up his cock, and started stroking him. Draco took the offering and licked a trail up the underside of Harry’s jaw. As Draco drew his teeth down his throat, he started thrusting into Draco’s hand.
“More?” Draco teased. Harry suddenly grabbed his hair and pulled him so that they were face to face again.
“Yes,” he hissed, before crushing their mouths together again. Draco groaned at how hot even this small display of aggression was, but his elation at finally getting Harry to show some initiative was drowned beneath the sensations Harry’s tongue was causing. So Draco countered by shoving a hand down Harry’s pants.
Harry’s cock was almost burning, and the head was already drenched with pre-come. As Draco fisted it, he could tell that while Harry wasn’t quite as long as him, he was definitely thicker. Just thinking about the cock in his hand was turning him on, and he angled his hips so he could gain some friction against Harry’s leg.
They had broken the kiss now, both of them gasping and panting too hard. Draco added a little twist as he drew his hand up Harry’s shaft, and Harry’s eyes widened.
“Draco, I think I’m going to come!” Harry’s words cut off into a guttural moan as he jerked towards Draco’s body. Come spurted in between them, and smeared on their stomachs as Draco pulled Harry close and thrust against his leg.
“Harry, oh gods, Harry!” Draco yelled as he followed Harry’s lead. They both went limp, completely spent and satisfied. They shared a few more lazy kisses, drawing them out as long as they could before returning to just watch each other.
After a while, Draco reluctantly moved to grab his wand, not bothering to put it back after casting a cleaning spell. “Think I chased your nightmares away?” he asked quietly, running his hand yet again through Harry’s hair.
“Draco, I’m surprised that I can even think after that.” They shared a quiet chuckle, and yet another kiss. “Good night, Draco,” Harry said as they broke apart.
“Goodnight, Harry.” The two of them settled down, foreheads together and arms and legs wrapped around each other.
* * *
When Draco woke up to go back to his own bed, Harry was sprawled almost completely on top of him. Draco tried to wiggle out from underneath him, but he woke up enough to shoot Draco a bleary glare.
“Where are you going?” he asked petulantly.
“I need to leave before the rest wake up.”
“Stay,” Harry demanded, moving so his arms were on either side of Draco’s head. “Please?”
Draco wondered how any one could say no to those eyes. He knew that Harry very rarely asked for anything, so he nodded his defeat. The smile that Harry treated him to was completely worth it though, as was the kiss that followed.
Author: Bloodstrom
Length: ~15,000 words
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Mentions of torture, guy on guy action, if you needed warning about that
Summary: Harry and Draco find themselves growing closer when Draco starts helping Harry with his nightmares
Authors note: This was written for the Draco tops Harry fest, for a prompt that can be found here. It's also my first time writing slash, and my first time writing anything this long. Thank you to wendypops and snowcrystal86 for betaing this. It wouldn't be half the story it is now if you hadn't helped me out!
Maybe I should just start sleeping in his bed Draco thought to himself as he padded across the dormitory. Then I wouldn’t have to get out from under my blankets. Draco didn’t bother hesitating now. He climbed into Harry’s bed, closing the curtains behind him.
“Wake up Harry,” he ordered, and Harry’s eyes snapped open and darted around, trying to remember where he was. When his eyes settled on Draco’s dim form hovering above him, he gasped softly and pulled Draco down towards him, where he clung onto him like he was the last real thing in the world. After puzzling for a moment over where to put his arms, Draco ended up draping them around Harry’s shoulders.
Maybe I really should start sleeping with him Draco wondered, his fingers finding their way back to Harry’s hair. “Want me to tell you another story?” Draco asked, unable to keep the slight teasing out of his tone. Harry nodded against his chest, and Draco knew just what would make Harry smile.
“On my seventh birthday, my mother made me a cake. Usually we have house elves prepare our food, but my mum has always had a knack with baking, and this was the first year she ever made me a cake herself. It was wonderful.” Draco let himself get lost in the memory as he stroked Harry’s back gently.
“It was chocolate, with strawberries in the middle. It had white butter cream icing with green trim for my name, and these little silver candies that she had charmed to hum the birthday song. I was so excited that when she gave me my slice I picked it up and started eating it with my hands. My stuffier relatives were scandalized, but Greg and Vince joined right in. By the time I was done my second slice, I had icing all over my face, a strawberry in my hair, and one of the candies had gotten lost in the carpet. We could hear that humming for weeks.”
Harry laughed, which was the only thing Draco needed at that moment. He smiled down into the mop of unruly hair at his chin. “My mum has a picture of me on that day. She hung it up in the family room, though my father was loath to let something that undignified be put on display. Every birthday after that I ate my cake with my hands. By the time I was 13, it had rather lost its appeal, but I did it for her. It was our little tradition.”
Draco smiled at the memory as he idly wondered when Harry had started rubbing his back as well, and bloody hell, were the two of them actually cuddling? Draco took quick stock of the situation. Harry’s arms were around him, and he was moving his hand in small circles on Draco’s back. Draco’s arms were around Harry, and not only was he rubbing his back, but he was petting his hair too. They were pressed up against each other, Harry’s leg had found its way between his, and Draco was pretty much kissing the top of his head. Bloody hell, what have I gotten myself into? Draco thought, shaking his head. Then he sneezed as some hair tickled his nose.
“What’s wrong?” asked Harry. Draco shook his head again. This whole thing was mad.
“I don’t know how to tell you this Potter, but I think we’re cuddling.”
Draco felt Harry tense in his arms, and could almost hear him going through the same thoughts he just had.
“Do you mind?” Harry ventured quietly, after a moment of contemplation.
That was a good question. Draco could admit to himself that he liked it. It was a bit harder to admit that he liked it because it was Harry in his arms, but he figured he didn’t need to tell Harry that.
“I don’t mind. You’re warmer than my blanket at any rate, and if I have to abandon that every night to be saving your sorry arse from dream monsters, I figure you owe it to me to keep me cozy.”
“Good,” replied Harry, “because I am rather too comfy to move.” Instead, he held Draco a bit tighter and let out a rather self satisfied sigh. “G’night Draco,” Harry murmured, before dropping back into sleep.
Draco spared a brief thought for the bizarre turn his life had taken before spelling the curtains closed and joining Harry in sleep.
* * *
“You’re looking rather chipper this morning,” quipped Hermione when Harry sat down for breakfast. “Good sleep?”
“You could say that.”
Hermione raised her eyebrow. “So the dreams have stopped?”
“Not exactly,” Harry said looking down as he tried to hide the blush creeping into his cheeks. He didn’t want to explain to Hermione that Draco Malfoy was helping him more than all her carefully researched cures. He really didn’t want to tell her exactly how he was helping. Hermione would read way too deep into the fact that having Draco in his bed was better for him than a good dreamless sleep potion.
“Harry?” Hermione said, her tone implying that she expected an explanation. Harry shook his head. “Is it a girl?”
“Subtle, Hermione,” countered Harry.
“So it is, then? I knew it! You’ve been staring at nothing just as much as usual, but now you look happy.”
“Do I do that often?” With a nod from Hermione he groaned. “Damn. I really don’t notice.”
“Hmm, I would never have guessed. So anyway, who is she?”
“Hermione, there really isn’t any girl.” Harry was glad that this was the technical truth, because Hermione seemed to have developed a nose for lies. He swore that she could smell them sometimes.
Right on cue, her nostrils flared. Then her eyebrows went down in her trademark problem solving face, and eventually she nodded.
“Well, whatever you’re doing, I’m glad it’s working.”
“Yeah, me too.”
The rest of the day went by as it usually did. Harry barely remembered any classes, either from that day or from the rest of the year. He was passing, however that was mostly thanks to his magic almost doubling since defeating Voldemort. Homework was just as difficult as ever, but he never worked hard in class. Even Potions was easy, thanks to the Prince, and the new teacher who didn’t spend his entire time victimizing Harry or grovelling at his feet.
The only change came that night as he got ready for bed. As he finished changing into his pyjamas, he listened as one by one the others whispered their silencing spells.
“Does that bother you?”
Harry let out a rather undignified squeak and spun around to find Draco sitting on his bed.
“Not really, I told them to in the first place, and why are you in my bed?” Harry was panting a bit, trying to get his heart back under control. Draco had the presence of mind not to laugh at him, or at least not to show it.
“I figured I was going to end up here anyway, and this just saves me the journey across the room. It gets rather cold in here at night, or hadn’t you noticed?”
Harry could only shake his head. “Come on then,” Harry said, climbing past him and tugging the covers out from under Draco’s butt. “I guess it’s my turn to be the pillow?”
“Oh Harry, you want to cuddle again? I didn’t know you cared!” Harry didn’t even bother to glare at Draco. He held the blanket open in a wordless invitation, and Draco slipped in with a small smirk.
If anyone had asked Harry a year ago how cuddling with Draco would be, awkward would have been the lightest way to put it. But even the small shuffling as the two of them settled in was friendly and almost cozy. Draco ended up in the crook of Harry’s arm, his head and hand resting on Harry’s chest.
“Mmmm,” sighed Harry as they settled down. He put his hand over Draco’s, almost intertwining their fingers. “You’re warm.”
Draco merely chuckled., moving his fingers to squeeze Harry’s hand. “Good night Potter”
“Night Draco.”
* * *
This time, Draco woke up violently. Harry was screaming and bucking wildly, throwing Draco off his chest and kicking him in the shin.
“Bloody buggering FUCK! Wake the fuck UP Harry!” Draco yelled, holding on to his injured leg. “That fucking…” Draco trailed off as he looked back at Harry. The scars on his wrist had started bleeding as if they had just been cut. His own hurt was forgotten. “Harry, Harry, are you alright?”
Harry had woken up enough to shake his head, tears dripping down his face. Draco scrambled for his wand, and put a quick numbing charm on Harry’s wrist before he went about trying to heal the wounds. By the time he was done, Harry was trembling, his arm limp in Draco’s grasp.
Draco lay Harry’s arm down by his side, being careful not to jar the tender skin, and then pulled Harry into his arms.
“You want to talk about it?” he asked. Harry took a deep shuddering breath.
“I don’t think you want to hear it.”
“Because of my father?” Harry nodded, turning to Draco and burying his face in the other boy’s shoulder. Draco held him as he cried, and thought for a second whether he could handle it. His father had been a right bastard to him growing up. Punishments were swift, harsh, and sometimes unnecessary, but he had never tortured him. Then again, he already knew that his father had tortured others.
“You need to talk Harry. I can deal. And if I start having nightmares, then you can hold me.” Harry didn’t laugh, but then Draco hadn’t expected him to.
“You remember when I first got to your house?” Draco nodded his agreement. “Well, after the stinging hex wore off and everyone saw who I really was, they decided that they could get some information out of me before they called their precious Dark Lord.” He spat the last bit out in a high pitched voice, leading Draco to believe that his aunt had spent quite a bit of time expounding on her favourite subject.
“Hermione, Ron and I were put in separate cells. Far enough away that we couldn’t talk without shouting, but close enough that we could hear each other scream. None of us actually knew anything, because we hadn’t had contact with the Order since the beginning of the year, but they still tied us up and…” Draco held Harry tighter as he gathered his thoughts.
“Hermione was flogged. The wounds healed, but they had rubbed something on her while she was still bleeding. Each mark was stained black. Ron got all his fingernails pulled off. Both of them had all their fingers broken. And those are only the things that they’ve told me. There are probably many other things that happened, but I don’t really want to know how else they suffered.
“I’m the only one with nightmares though. During our imprisonment, they put a spell on me. Every time I went to sleep, I would dream I was back here at Hogwarts. Sometimes I sat through a class before I woke up, and sometimes I went through an entire day with Hermione and Ron by my side, learning, doing homework, playing Quidditch, and then I would wake up to more pain.
“The dreams felt so real that I eventually thought that they were, hoped they were. But every time I woke up, I had to face reality again. When we finally escaped, the dreams stopped. For the rest of the war, I could have a full night’s sleep. Then they started again when I was at Ron’s house. This time, I dreamt of Lucius or Bellatrix standing over me with knives. There was a new torture every night, and I always woke up screaming. No one could do anything about it, so I eventually just told them to ignore me.”
Draco pulled back to look at Harry, who was staring very pointedly at his chest. “You told them to ignore you? What are you, some sort of closet masochist? They could have woken you up at the very least!”
“And then what?” Harry snapped, looking in Draco’s eyes for the first time since they had woken up. “They always wanted me to talk to them, even though they knew what was going on, exactly what I dreamed every night. Ron always looked at me with pity, and Hermione pumped me for every detail, convinced that she could somehow find a cure.”
“Bitch,” Draco swore, which earned him a slap on the arm.
“Maybe sometimes, but she’s still my friend.”
“Yeah, yeah, I know. Hey, Harry…” Draco swallowed as a thought struck him. “My father didn’t… he didn’t…”
“Rape us?” Harry filled in with cool detachment. Draco nodded, and suddenly he was the one being comforted.
“He didn’t. He talked about it, but he always said that he would never touch Mudbloods and blood traitors.”
Draco relaxed into Harry’s touch. Looking at Harry’s arm and its network of scar tissue, a new thought formed in his mind.
“Have you tried having these healed?” He asked, tracing them with his fingers.
“They were healed magically before we escaped. We had healers look at all our wounds, but the only way was to re-open them. We chose not to.”
The thought of having to live through the torture once was enough to give Draco nightmares, but having to go through it again could drive someone insane.
Draco had drawn Harry’s arm towards his face so he could see the scars better, and before he could give it any thought, he kissed the one nearest to his mouth. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, feeling the uneven skin against his lips.
“For what?” Harry asked just as quietly, now staring at Draco’s lips on his arm.
“That you won’t ever be rid of these.” Draco was surprised to feel a tear leak out of his eye. Harry brushed it away without comment. “This is silly. I’m suppose to be comforting you! I did nothing during the war. I went to school, I sucked up to teachers, and when you were at the manor, I was sitting in my room twiddling my thumbs! You had to live through this! You shouldn’t have to comfort me.”
Draco tried to twist away from Harry, but Harry had his face in his hands, and he was forced to look into the green eyes that were now mere inches from his face.
“We all have our demons,” Harry said. “You’re helping me with mine. The least I can do is help with yours.”
“How am I helping? All I do is wake you up.”
Harry chuckled softly. “Also, you talk to me, you hold me when I need to feel something real, and you... ground me, I guess. When I got back to Hogwarts, I couldn’t tell what was a dream and what was real. I still can’t, not really. All my classes seem to be a blur, and though I can perform every spell, I can’t ever remember learning them. Every day is just like back in the dungeons.
“But when I’m with you, I know that I’m awake and safe, because you were never nice to me in my dreams. In my dreams we only fought, because that’s all that we did in real life. When you told me about your childhood, I knew that I couldn’t have dreamed that. And I definitely would never have dreamed of us cuddling.” Harry ended with another chuckle, bordering on a laugh as he slid his fingers through Draco’s hair.
“Even if I had dreamt this, I don’t think your hair would have been this soft.”
Now it was Draco’s turn to laugh. “So what you’re saying is that I make you feel safe.”
“It is kind of hard to believe, isn’t it?” Harry laughed softly even as he once again pushed his face into the crook of Draco’s neck. “Is this strange for you at all?”
“Why do you ask?”
“I just don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you.”
“Harry, do you really think that I would crawl into your bed and hold you every night if it made me feel awkward? I would have just shaken you awake and gone back to my bed.”
Harry nodded absently, and followed it with a yawn. “So are you saying that you actually wanted to cuddle?”
“If that helps you sleep at night,” responded Draco with an eye roll. He felt Harry laugh, the soft vibrations spreading into his body, and Draco suddenly felt closer to him than he had in the past nights.
“Of course it helps me sleep at night. If it didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”
“Are you sure? I might have found some other reason to sneak into your bed.” Draco accompanied his near admission with a kiss. It was just on the top of his head, but Harry still started.
“Draco?”
“Go to sleep, Harry,” Draco admonished. He could feel Harry settle back down, and stole another quick kiss before he was drifting off to sleep as well.
* * *
When Harry woke up, Draco was already back in his own bed, and Harry was left with a vague feeling of loss. He knew that Draco couldn’t be in his bed when their dorm mates woke, as it would raise far too many awkward questions, but Harry found himself wishing that he could have woken up in Draco’s arms.
He could imagine opening up the curtains to watch the early morning sunlight play on Draco’s skin. He could see Draco waking up to smile at him and draw him closer. Draco would put a hand under his chin and tilt his head up just enough that their lips could meet, and Harry would run his hands down Draco’s back like he had so many times before.
Harry lay in silence, basking in the peace of the thought, before it even occurred to him that he was daydreaming about kissing Draco. He shook his head, trying to drive the picture of Draco’s smooth chest out of his head, but it brought on memories of Draco’s fingers carding through his hair, and he dropped his head back to his pillow.
How was he going to face Draco again? How was he going to sleep in the same bed without giving something away? Harry worried all day, trying to find a way to ignore Draco and not hurt his feelings, and trying to convince himself that he didn’t find Draco’s hair attractive in the slightest.
Harry ended up worrying for nothing. He fell asleep in the common room just after supper, and Ron had to wake him up and tell him to go to bed. By the time the rest of the boys settled in, Harry was curled up under his blanket, his glasses still on his nose.
* * *
Harry’s life took on a comfortable routine after that. He would wake up alone in his bed and go down to breakfast with Ron and Hermione. They spent their time talking about school, trying to get back to a normal life. He would go to class and try to pay attention, have lunch, have supper, do homework and then go to bed.
Bed time was his favourite part of the day. After his first day of panic, Harry realized that he was in a rather pleasant situation. He got to sleep with the object of his affections every night. He got to be held and caressed by him, and, when Draco thought he was asleep, Harry could feel him press kisses into his hair.
The two started to grow closer. Some nights, they would stay up late talking, sharing their vastly different childhoods. Harry learned that when Draco was eight, he wanted to be a gardener, and so his mother gave him a small section of the garden to work in. It was still his, and he still kept it during the summer. Harry wished he could see it, even though he had no desire to ever go near that Manor again.
Harry also learned that Draco’s mother was almost as nice as Ron’s. After everything Draco told him, Harry wasn’t surprised that she didn’t have the Dark Mark. When Harry asked, Draco confided that his mother only supported the Dark Lord for Draco’s sake. If Narcissa had opposed Lucius’ choice to follow Voldemort, their marriage would have been tense, to say the least, and if they were to separate, Lucius would have won custody over Draco.
In return for his stories, Harry told Draco about his life before Hogwarts. He told Draco more about his life than he had ever told Ron or Hermione. They didn’t know that he once cut his finger while making supper. It bled much more than it should have, and Harry almost passed out from the loss. When Uncle Vernon found him sitting on the floor, he sent Harry to his closet for bleeding on the supper.
Every night, when Harry woke screaming or crying or bleeding, Draco held him and healed him and let him cry. The one night that Draco had a nightmare, Harry soothed him and stroked his hair and it was Draco’s turn to cry.
Other things started to change as well. Hermione took to Draco rather quickly once the opportunity presented itself. Harry asked him a question about the homework, Draco replied with an answer that Harry didn’t really understand, but Hermione jumped on it like cat on a mouse and the two of them were quickly debating the translation of a runic symbol and Harry was left to muddle through his homework with Ron.
For his part, Ron was adjusting rather well to the addition of Draco to Harry’s friend list. It helped that Draco was making an effort not to antagonize Ron, and after Hermione gave him a solid dressing down, Ron really had no choice but to at least tolerate Draco’s company.
* * *
“Draco,” Harry whimpered from his usual position on Draco’s shoulder, “it’s not right. This feels like a dream.”
“Harry?” Draco had almost settled down to sleep. Harry hadn’t said anything for a while, and he had been sure Harry had fallen asleep again.
“It’s the same,” Harry continued. “Every night it’s the same. Everything’s the same. How can I know that it’s real if nothing changes?” Harry started sobbing quietly. Draco was used to Harry crying, but this sounded defeated. Like Harry was giving up hope.
“Harry,” Draco said, but Harry only sobbed louder. “Harry! Look at me!” Draco grabbed Harry by the chin and forced his head up. “Tell me, what do you need?”
Harry squirmed, trying to look away from Draco. “I don’t know, I just need something new!”
Harry looked like he was falling apart, so Draco did the first thing that came to his mind. He leaned forwards and pressed his lips to Harry’s. It was a soft, slow kiss, neither of them moving, with just enough pressure that Draco could feel the warmth of Harry’s mouth.
“Would I do that if this was a dream, Harry?” Draco pulled away, just far enough that his lips were still brushing against Harry’s.
“Maybe,” Harry breathed, his breath ghosting across Draco’s face. His voice had changed from panicked to stunned. He had the air of someone who had been startled into telling the truth. The shakes that had been wracking his body were quickly fading.
“You dream about me kissing you?” Draco ran his hand up the side of Harry’s face, and could feel his cheeks warm up as a blush spread across them. Well, if Harry wanted Draco to kiss him, he wasn’t going to say no. He leaned back in, and this time he gently closed his mouth over Harry’s bottom lip. He drew it into his mouth and slowly ran his tongue along it. “Am I any good in these dreams?”
“I-I haven’t had any dreams.” Draco smiled at the stutter. If Harry sounded like that after just a small kiss, he couldn’t wait until they moved onto bigger and better things, and that thought exited him a lot more than it had right to.
“Really? Then have you wanted to?” Draco pulled back enough to see Harry screw his eyes shut and nod very slightly. Draco felt a small thrill go up his spine, and something suddenly clicked into place. No matter that a day ago he was only thinking of Harry as his bed mate, not his bedmate, and that he had never given any thought to experimenting with men. This was Harry, and as everything was with Harry, it was absolutely intoxicating.
“Harry, if this was a dream my father sent you, you can be sure that I wouldn’t be the one kissing you. And if this were your dream, then you can be sure it wouldn’t feel this good.” Draco pulled Harry back to him, and kissed each corner of his mouth. “You can kiss me back you know,” he whispered.
So Harry did. It was sweet, the way he kissed. Hesitant, like he didn’t know what to do. Draco moved one hand to the back of his neck and drew Harry in closer, this time focusing on his top lip, nibbling it just hard enough to make Harry gasp. Draco briefly invaded Harry’s mouth and brushed their tongues together.
Harry jerked, and his hands flew to Draco’s hair, tangling fingers in soft blond strands. Draco tried to smile, but gave up in favour of teasing Harry with his tongue. Harry was panting through his nose, and Draco was quickly realizing that neither of them were wearing shirts. His skin was so soft, and Draco pressed forward, trying to touch as much of it as he could.
Harry felt hot under Draco’s hands, and he was now kissing Draco back with enthusiasm. When Harry made a bold move and captured Draco’s tongue with his teeth, Draco’s hips jerked, and the feeling of Harry’s cock filling on his leg drew a long moan from his throat.
“You need some more Harry?” Draco murmured, trying to stay in control as he worked a finger under the waistband of Harry’s pants. He had to stop himself from simply diving back into the kiss when Harry’s eyes fluttered.
“Only if you want to.”
Draco had to keep himself from rolling his eyes. Instead, he ground their crotches together, their erections falling tantalizingly close to each other.
“Draco,” Harry whimpered in a strangled tone, and Draco had to lean back in to try to capture his tongue. While Harry was busy trying to keep up with Draco’s lips, Draco sneaked a hand around to the front of Harry’s pants and softly cupped his cock.
“Fuck!” Harry growled as he pressed himself into Draco’s hand.
“Like that?” Draco asked as he looked Harry in the eyes and squeezed.
“Fuck!” Harry cried again, his hands scrambling over Draco’s back. He threw his head back as Draco trailed his hand up his cock, and started stroking him. Draco took the offering and licked a trail up the underside of Harry’s jaw. As Draco drew his teeth down his throat, he started thrusting into Draco’s hand.
“More?” Draco teased. Harry suddenly grabbed his hair and pulled him so that they were face to face again.
“Yes,” he hissed, before crushing their mouths together again. Draco groaned at how hot even this small display of aggression was, but his elation at finally getting Harry to show some initiative was drowned beneath the sensations Harry’s tongue was causing. So Draco countered by shoving a hand down Harry’s pants.
Harry’s cock was almost burning, and the head was already drenched with pre-come. As Draco fisted it, he could tell that while Harry wasn’t quite as long as him, he was definitely thicker. Just thinking about the cock in his hand was turning him on, and he angled his hips so he could gain some friction against Harry’s leg.
They had broken the kiss now, both of them gasping and panting too hard. Draco added a little twist as he drew his hand up Harry’s shaft, and Harry’s eyes widened.
“Draco, I think I’m going to come!” Harry’s words cut off into a guttural moan as he jerked towards Draco’s body. Come spurted in between them, and smeared on their stomachs as Draco pulled Harry close and thrust against his leg.
“Harry, oh gods, Harry!” Draco yelled as he followed Harry’s lead. They both went limp, completely spent and satisfied. They shared a few more lazy kisses, drawing them out as long as they could before returning to just watch each other.
After a while, Draco reluctantly moved to grab his wand, not bothering to put it back after casting a cleaning spell. “Think I chased your nightmares away?” he asked quietly, running his hand yet again through Harry’s hair.
“Draco, I’m surprised that I can even think after that.” They shared a quiet chuckle, and yet another kiss. “Good night, Draco,” Harry said as they broke apart.
“Goodnight, Harry.” The two of them settled down, foreheads together and arms and legs wrapped around each other.
* * *
When Draco woke up to go back to his own bed, Harry was sprawled almost completely on top of him. Draco tried to wiggle out from underneath him, but he woke up enough to shoot Draco a bleary glare.
“Where are you going?” he asked petulantly.
“I need to leave before the rest wake up.”
“Stay,” Harry demanded, moving so his arms were on either side of Draco’s head. “Please?”
Draco wondered how any one could say no to those eyes. He knew that Harry very rarely asked for anything, so he nodded his defeat. The smile that Harry treated him to was completely worth it though, as was the kiss that followed.