vengeful
i hate my life. it sucks. this one week has fucked up my entire life. and now i have nothing. nothing to live for. yet i keep living. i dont even know why. maybe because i have hopes that things will get good again. maybe he'll call me. i doubt it though. this is so depressing. first - i lose the love of my life and im told to never call him again. a "friend" betrays me. my car gets totalled. and to top it all off- i get strep throat. how sucky is this. i cant even get out of the house. and a lot of my shit is else where. divided up into three different places. i love him. i dont know why anymore. but i do. i want to be with him. i want to talk to him. i want him to forgive me for whatever it was i did. i know he wont want to talk to me ever again. im scared that ill never see him again. i fucked up a great thing. i miss him much. i love him more.