You don't really have to read this. I'm just bored and feel like writing some nonsense
Welcome the end of the world, I tell myself.
I stand in a river of fire, looking down at the streets of madness. Madness that is entirely my fault. People run from their homes, screaming for someone anyone to save them. And no one comes
Of course no one comes. The age of heroes is long since past.
You made sure of that. The voice in my head whispers.
It didn't have to be this way. You could
"Shut up" I tell myself. No matter how many times I tell myself I've killed it, it always finds a way to continue pestering me.
The world burns around me. I see children run from their homes, looking for missing parents. I watch as men are brutally killed in the buildings they sought shelter is. I see unspeakable things happen to people who do not deserve the pain.
And I don't feel a thing.
This is your doing. This is all your fault.
"Is that supposed to bother me?"
You are far past that now, aren't you.
"Stop referring to me has a different person. You are the lingering remains of my former ideological self. You are just a shadow of a memory of the man I used to be."
Then how could I do this? I could I bring this pain.
" As if you didn't know"
I shunt out the voices in my head. This isn't the time or place for such ruminations. Besides, it's not long now.
The world has not seen such a plague since the days of the bible. And this time they don't have the gods to blame. No, this time they only haveme me it was all me what have I done it wasn't
I shake my head to get rid of the noise. Thats all it is. Noise. Nothing more.
No, this time all they have to blame is themselves. If they had the right they'd be praying now. Or if there were any gods left that would hear their prayers.
Around me the world screams as if alive. I have opened a sore on it's surface and it cries for relief, for vengeance, for the end. But it won't come swiftly nor cleanly. No. For it's sins it's end will seem like an eternity for suffering. Darkness will be a bliss when it is all over.
I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I do this. This isn't me. mommy mommy stop me please kill me don't let me do this.
"It's far too late for that."
I did it. I opened the gates of chaos with a weapon forged in the tears of innocent's and the blood of the long dead gods. I unleashed the the end on everyone. I murdered us all.
Thats right. I did it. And I know why.
I can't hold it anymore. The tears flow freely.
" I did it because of am so fucking pathetic."
And that is the final truth.
You want to know the truth? The reason why you are being raped? Why your children's blood runs freely in your hands? Why everything you love is being burned away?
It's because I wanted so badly to save you.
All I ever wanted to be a hero. I wanted you to love me, to believe in me.
I wanted to save you all.
But I couldn't father please i'm sorry i didn't mean it i never knew it would go so far i would get so lost i would fall so long
I couldn't even save myself. Or save you from myself.
You wouldn't let me save you. You wouldn't give me the chance. Nothing I did was ever good enough. No matter how hard I fought, or what I gave up you just wouldn't...You didn't...
Why didn't you just love me?
Like a preening child all I wanted was some fucking attention and love. In my stupidity and arrogance I thought that since I couldn't win your love, I would win your fear.
But I couldn't even do that.
You just didn't care
You ignored me.Forgot about me. Shoved me to the side like I didn't matter. But I showed you, didn't I?
"Yes. I did. Didn't I?"
I'm on the ground now. Screaming, cursing, laughing, crying, all of it at the same time. It's all so...so pointless.
I couldn't have your love. Couldn't have your fear. So what?
I would kill all of you.
And I've done it. We are all dead now. Except for the waiting.
But of course this is the best part. The greatest irony. The killing joke if you will.
We are all dying. And no body knows it but me.
None of you know my name. None of you know why you are dying, why the horror has been unleashed.
So I end everything because you refuse me. And I do it anonymously.
It's the funniest joke in the world. And we're the only ones who get it.
"I'm the only one who gets it."
I loved you so fucking much.
I'm sorry.
For what little it's worth.
I stand in a river of fire, looking down at the streets of madness. Madness that is entirely my fault. People run from their homes, screaming for someone anyone to save them. And no one comes
Of course no one comes. The age of heroes is long since past.
You made sure of that. The voice in my head whispers.
It didn't have to be this way. You could
"Shut up" I tell myself. No matter how many times I tell myself I've killed it, it always finds a way to continue pestering me.
The world burns around me. I see children run from their homes, looking for missing parents. I watch as men are brutally killed in the buildings they sought shelter is. I see unspeakable things happen to people who do not deserve the pain.
And I don't feel a thing.
This is your doing. This is all your fault.
"Is that supposed to bother me?"
You are far past that now, aren't you.
"Stop referring to me has a different person. You are the lingering remains of my former ideological self. You are just a shadow of a memory of the man I used to be."
Then how could I do this? I could I bring this pain.
" As if you didn't know"
I shunt out the voices in my head. This isn't the time or place for such ruminations. Besides, it's not long now.
The world has not seen such a plague since the days of the bible. And this time they don't have the gods to blame. No, this time they only haveme me it was all me what have I done it wasn't
I shake my head to get rid of the noise. Thats all it is. Noise. Nothing more.
No, this time all they have to blame is themselves. If they had the right they'd be praying now. Or if there were any gods left that would hear their prayers.
Around me the world screams as if alive. I have opened a sore on it's surface and it cries for relief, for vengeance, for the end. But it won't come swiftly nor cleanly. No. For it's sins it's end will seem like an eternity for suffering. Darkness will be a bliss when it is all over.
I'm so fucking stupid. Why did I do this. This isn't me. mommy mommy stop me please kill me don't let me do this.
"It's far too late for that."
I did it. I opened the gates of chaos with a weapon forged in the tears of innocent's and the blood of the long dead gods. I unleashed the the end on everyone. I murdered us all.
Thats right. I did it. And I know why.
I can't hold it anymore. The tears flow freely.
" I did it because of am so fucking pathetic."
And that is the final truth.
You want to know the truth? The reason why you are being raped? Why your children's blood runs freely in your hands? Why everything you love is being burned away?
It's because I wanted so badly to save you.
All I ever wanted to be a hero. I wanted you to love me, to believe in me.
I wanted to save you all.
But I couldn't father please i'm sorry i didn't mean it i never knew it would go so far i would get so lost i would fall so long
I couldn't even save myself. Or save you from myself.
You wouldn't let me save you. You wouldn't give me the chance. Nothing I did was ever good enough. No matter how hard I fought, or what I gave up you just wouldn't...You didn't...
Why didn't you just love me?
Like a preening child all I wanted was some fucking attention and love. In my stupidity and arrogance I thought that since I couldn't win your love, I would win your fear.
But I couldn't even do that.
You just didn't care
You ignored me.Forgot about me. Shoved me to the side like I didn't matter. But I showed you, didn't I?
"Yes. I did. Didn't I?"
I'm on the ground now. Screaming, cursing, laughing, crying, all of it at the same time. It's all so...so pointless.
I couldn't have your love. Couldn't have your fear. So what?
I would kill all of you.
And I've done it. We are all dead now. Except for the waiting.
But of course this is the best part. The greatest irony. The killing joke if you will.
We are all dying. And no body knows it but me.
None of you know my name. None of you know why you are dying, why the horror has been unleashed.
So I end everything because you refuse me. And I do it anonymously.
It's the funniest joke in the world. And we're the only ones who get it.
"I'm the only one who gets it."
I loved you so fucking much.
I'm sorry.
For what little it's worth.