Array 161 // Video

[bloodseal_soul]

This will be the fourth time I've seen a new year here. I guess it's not so bad, is it? Most of the time.

If you could make a change in yourself right now, what would it be?

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[buntails]

There are good parts to being here, too. Like everyone we've met.

[She says this while she takes a moment she consider his real question. There are so many things people dislike in her; if she could, she'd wipe them all away and be better for them.]

I think... I'd want to become more patient.

[bloodseal_soul]

Exactly, Usagi.

[He smiles back, encouraging.]

Then you can resolve to be more patient.

[buntails]

In that case, how about you? Is there something you want to put behind you in the new year?

[bloodseal_soul]

... yeah, I think I have a few sad things I'd like to let go of.

[buntails]

[She hadn't thought of painful memories...]

Mm. I can understand wanting to do that. But even the sad things help make us who we are, don't they?

[bloodseal_soul]

[He thinks of the room down the hall, the door he hasn't opened in months upon months, not even to clean.]

Yeah. But that doesn't mean we can't use them as tools to help us become more than what we are.

[buntails]

It's funny how being here changes things. Back home, I'd have said I wanted to change sleeping in all the time, or my grades on my tests, or maybe being better at housework and things. But all of that... It's either not important here anymore, or it's too important and I had to do it anyway.

[bloodseal_soul]

I'm glad that you had a chance to worry about things like that.

It's precious, you know?

[buntails]

Here, I wish I could find a way to understand the Animus, so we can find a way to solve everything. Or that I could send people home that want to go. But that might not be something I can change myself.

So what should I try to change in myself right now? [She... should be paying more attention to Al himself, but he's put her in a reflective mood.]

[bloodseal_soul]

Maybe you should stop being so hard on yourself.

[Gently.]

Nobody expects you to have all the answers, or to do everything all by yourself. It's all right to rely on your friends more.

[buntails]

[That hurt, Al. She argued herself hoarse with Fran to be able to include her friends because she didn't want to seem to refuse to rely on them. Hearing it still seems that way...]

I see. But even if I say that... I want to rely on them... [She isn't sure what to say after that.]

[bloodseal_soul]

What's worrying you?

[Gently.]

[buntails]

It's nothing. [There's even a smile, to prove it.] I just have to work a little harder, right?

[bloodseal_soul]

Just a little change. You're already working hard.

[buntails]

Hey, Al... Have you really been here that long, like Unohana-san? What was it like back a long time ago?

[bloodseal_soul]

I... yeah, I have.

[He bites his lip, thinking.]

It was smaller, then... with less people who hurt others. Everyone knew everyone, and there were more adults. It seemed like everyone was older than me.

[He rolls his shoulders.]

Back then, there were few enough people that I actually knew everyone by name and face, and most were friends of mine. I was hurt, once- I'd only been here a few months. And everyone was so protective.