Solo Log -- "Dear Itachi"
I want to talk to Ai. I feel really sour inside, but I don't think she knows... or even noticed, really... she hasn't noticed anything for a long time. It's probably just because she spends more time with Havoc now. I'm happy for her, and it's kind of nice that she's depending on someone else, but... what did I...?
Was it my fault? Was I just not patient enough with her? Should I have tried harder to make sure she saw the consequences of her actions, to make her see that she's running herself into the ground? Was there something else I could have done? I tried, I really did... I just
It's like Kamui all over again.
It's stupid and egocentric of me to believe that I can save everyone. I've already proved it so many times over, why am I surprised that I can't? I'm still so idealistic, even after all of this.
Maybe it's better to just quietly let her go... I'm sure she won't mind. It'll probably be a relief to her.
The Colonel thought I was keeping things from him... when I've never been able to lie with a straight face.
I want to talk to Yuca, but I don't think I can face him anymore. Every time I do, he'll say something nice that we both know is a complete lie. He's told me so, so many times, not to trust him, that he doesn't really care... but here I am, still hopelessly deluding myself into hoping that maybe, this time, he's not lying. How pathetic is that?
I miss you, Itachi. I wish I could come to you with this... you'd know what to do, wouldn't you? You always had good advice.
... you'd probably tell me to stop taking responsibility for things that aren't my responsibility in the first place, and to stay the heck away from Yuca, and to just spit it out already with Ed.
You always make things sound so simple.
Was it my fault? Was I just not patient enough with her? Should I have tried harder to make sure she saw the consequences of her actions, to make her see that she's running herself into the ground? Was there something else I could have done? I tried, I really did... I just
It's like Kamui all over again.
It's stupid and egocentric of me to believe that I can save everyone. I've already proved it so many times over, why am I surprised that I can't? I'm still so idealistic, even after all of this.
Maybe it's better to just quietly let her go... I'm sure she won't mind. It'll probably be a relief to her.
The Colonel thought I was keeping things from him... when I've never been able to lie with a straight face.
I want to talk to Yuca, but I don't think I can face him anymore. Every time I do, he'll say something nice that we both know is a complete lie. He's told me so, so many times, not to trust him, that he doesn't really care... but here I am, still hopelessly deluding myself into hoping that maybe, this time, he's not lying. How pathetic is that?
I miss you, Itachi. I wish I could come to you with this... you'd know what to do, wouldn't you? You always had good advice.
... you'd probably tell me to stop taking responsibility for things that aren't my responsibility in the first place, and to stay the heck away from Yuca, and to just spit it out already with Ed.
You always make things sound so simple.