Solo Log -- "Letters"
[ooc; With Ginia leaving and the others disappearing, Al does something long overdue. I didn't know where to put it, so I put it here.]
Alphonse stared out at the night, just the same as any other night at Whipstaff, the wind whistling through the creaky, rusted chimes and making the house groan like a thing alive. It no longer had that strange aura that made him shiver and wonder what might be in its halls. Now it felt safe, a haven. He sat at the varnished wooden desk in his room, an oil lamp burning nearby, a warm cat on his lap, and shut his eyes, just listening. He dipped his pen and started to write.
Dear Asuna,
The snow's going to come soon. It makes me remember that week you were snowed in with us at the apartment, and we attached that sled to the back of the Zoomer. I don't think I'd ever heard you scream so loud. There's a "you" here... a different, younger you, with a different life and different memories. She's here in Whipstaff with me and Negi.
Negi's doing fine, I think having Kotarou around really cheered him up. He's got a lot of his old fire back, and he's working on his magic all the time. He still sleeps with me when it gets bad, and he still gets himself into trouble, but we're always watching out for him.
Don't worry, we're taking good care of him... I'll keep him safe for you. I hope you're working hard in school! Remember, always keep your sword out and a smile on your face. I'm not worried about you. I never could be. There's nothing that could take you down.
...
Dear Alfons,
Everyone here misses you. I hope the winters where you come from aren't too harsh. Remember to take it easy when you need to, and push yourself when it feels best. I'm thinking of you. Remember that you're special, and no matter what, you won't be forgotten.
...
Dear Juke,
I know we never went fishing, but I hope there's something for you to catch. You know... in space. I doubt there are fish in space, but... I'm rambling. We all miss you here, and we hope you're doing well. Please give Alt a hug for me, and don't do anything too crazy.
I wanted to say thank you for helping me back when I needed it most, for coming and protecting me, and for being there. I never really had an uncle, but you were the closest thing to it.
...
Dear Ginia,
... I miss you already. I know that you might not have a lot to go back to... but I can't help but believe your story isn't over yet. You might not remember everything we went through, and I didn't tell you, when I cut your arm for you... but you'd kissed me like that before. You hadn't changed nearly as much as you thought you did. You're not the same, but... your heart is still just as warm.
Thank you for being the first person to let me know everything would be okay... and for being there when the nightmares got bad. There aren't a lot of people who would come and bring me cookies in the middle of the night. And... please don't worry about scaring me. I still loved you in the end. Always. I don't think anything could have shaken that.
I'll keep the flowers in bloom and let you know how I'm doing.
...
Dear Daxter,
Don't let anything get you down out there. You've got Jak, and you know you're worth more than what anyone thinks. And... those pants do look good on you. I'll take good care of myself. I promise.
...
This was where the letters got very hard to write, and where the tears started to come. Al stroked a finger over the ring on his thumb and took it off, setting it on the paper.
Dear Itachi,
Wherever you are, I hope you're still finding moments of peace. I hope you found Sasuke, whether you went back to your world, or to the different world we always talked about. I hope
Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone most. Thank you for telling me stories at night when I couldn't fall asleep. Thank you for letting me take care of you when I needed it more than you did, and for hugging me back that day. Thank you for being there when I had nowhere else to go, and for guiding me when I started to stray. Thank you for kicking me back up when I fell down. Thank you for realizing when I wasn't fine, and for pushing me to be a better man. Even though I hated you sometimes, I never stopped loving you. You might not be proud of some of the things you did, but in the end, I'm a better person for it.
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to save you. I know you never wanted me to try... but thank you for still loving me even when I wasn't perfect.
I'll miss you.
...
Al pushed away the paper, replaced the pen, and put his head down on his desk, taking deep, shaking breaths and shivering. It was only moments before he wiped his eyes and pulled a new piece of paper out, smoothing it lovingly, fingers shaking. He could barely see.
He took a moment to gather himself, and wrote --
Dear Sasuke,
We made a promise, a long time ago, that we would always find each other, that we would always remember. I still believe that somewhere, you exist... but a part of me believes that I'm in love with a ghost, and I'll never see you again. Some days, I believe with all my heart that you're still out there. Others... I wonder why I'm being so stupid. I've seen what happens to people, to memories, to hearts... but I can't either believe or disbelieve. But there's one thing I'm sure of.
I've never stopped loving you.
I want to believe that you're out there, somewhere, just waiting and holding on, holding out... maybe with Itachi, maybe not. But at the same time I don't want to believe it. I don't know if you'd still love what I've become
No... I know you would. I don't have to wonder. You'd love me no matter what happened. I've messed up, I've hurt you, I've failed, I've made you wait, I took forever making up my mind... but you've always been there. If you were here you'd tell me none of it matters. You'd be mad, yes, really mad... but after you gave me an earful, you'd still love me just the same.
I never understood why. We're just two imperfect people that found each other. Maybe I'm in love with a ghost, maybe I don't know what I'm doing, maybe I'm wasting my life...
But I'm not going to deny that anymore.
I hope I'll find you... I miss you so much it hurts. But if I don't... I'll still be okay.
I hope you will be too.
Al
Alphonse stared out at the night, just the same as any other night at Whipstaff, the wind whistling through the creaky, rusted chimes and making the house groan like a thing alive. It no longer had that strange aura that made him shiver and wonder what might be in its halls. Now it felt safe, a haven. He sat at the varnished wooden desk in his room, an oil lamp burning nearby, a warm cat on his lap, and shut his eyes, just listening. He dipped his pen and started to write.
Dear Asuna,
The snow's going to come soon. It makes me remember that week you were snowed in with us at the apartment, and we attached that sled to the back of the Zoomer. I don't think I'd ever heard you scream so loud. There's a "you" here... a different, younger you, with a different life and different memories. She's here in Whipstaff with me and Negi.
Negi's doing fine, I think having Kotarou around really cheered him up. He's got a lot of his old fire back, and he's working on his magic all the time. He still sleeps with me when it gets bad, and he still gets himself into trouble, but we're always watching out for him.
Don't worry, we're taking good care of him... I'll keep him safe for you. I hope you're working hard in school! Remember, always keep your sword out and a smile on your face. I'm not worried about you. I never could be. There's nothing that could take you down.
...
Dear Alfons,
Everyone here misses you. I hope the winters where you come from aren't too harsh. Remember to take it easy when you need to, and push yourself when it feels best. I'm thinking of you. Remember that you're special, and no matter what, you won't be forgotten.
...
Dear Juke,
I know we never went fishing, but I hope there's something for you to catch. You know... in space. I doubt there are fish in space, but... I'm rambling. We all miss you here, and we hope you're doing well. Please give Alt a hug for me, and don't do anything too crazy.
I wanted to say thank you for helping me back when I needed it most, for coming and protecting me, and for being there. I never really had an uncle, but you were the closest thing to it.
...
Dear Ginia,
... I miss you already. I know that you might not have a lot to go back to... but I can't help but believe your story isn't over yet. You might not remember everything we went through, and I didn't tell you, when I cut your arm for you... but you'd kissed me like that before. You hadn't changed nearly as much as you thought you did. You're not the same, but... your heart is still just as warm.
Thank you for being the first person to let me know everything would be okay... and for being there when the nightmares got bad. There aren't a lot of people who would come and bring me cookies in the middle of the night. And... please don't worry about scaring me. I still loved you in the end. Always. I don't think anything could have shaken that.
I'll keep the flowers in bloom and let you know how I'm doing.
...
Dear Daxter,
Don't let anything get you down out there. You've got Jak, and you know you're worth more than what anyone thinks. And... those pants do look good on you. I'll take good care of myself. I promise.
...
This was where the letters got very hard to write, and where the tears started to come. Al stroked a finger over the ring on his thumb and took it off, setting it on the paper.
Dear Itachi,
Wherever you are, I hope you're still finding moments of peace. I hope you found Sasuke, whether you went back to your world, or to the different world we always talked about. I hope
Thank you for being there for me when I needed someone most. Thank you for telling me stories at night when I couldn't fall asleep. Thank you for letting me take care of you when I needed it more than you did, and for hugging me back that day. Thank you for being there when I had nowhere else to go, and for guiding me when I started to stray. Thank you for kicking me back up when I fell down. Thank you for realizing when I wasn't fine, and for pushing me to be a better man. Even though I hated you sometimes, I never stopped loving you. You might not be proud of some of the things you did, but in the end, I'm a better person for it.
I'm sorry I wasn't good enough to save you. I know you never wanted me to try... but thank you for still loving me even when I wasn't perfect.
I'll miss you.
...
Al pushed away the paper, replaced the pen, and put his head down on his desk, taking deep, shaking breaths and shivering. It was only moments before he wiped his eyes and pulled a new piece of paper out, smoothing it lovingly, fingers shaking. He could barely see.
He took a moment to gather himself, and wrote --
Dear Sasuke,
We made a promise, a long time ago, that we would always find each other, that we would always remember. I still believe that somewhere, you exist... but a part of me believes that I'm in love with a ghost, and I'll never see you again. Some days, I believe with all my heart that you're still out there. Others... I wonder why I'm being so stupid. I've seen what happens to people, to memories, to hearts... but I can't either believe or disbelieve. But there's one thing I'm sure of.
I've never stopped loving you.
I want to believe that you're out there, somewhere, just waiting and holding on, holding out... maybe with Itachi, maybe not. But at the same time I don't want to believe it. I don't know if you'd still love what I've become
No... I know you would. I don't have to wonder. You'd love me no matter what happened. I've messed up, I've hurt you, I've failed, I've made you wait, I took forever making up my mind... but you've always been there. If you were here you'd tell me none of it matters. You'd be mad, yes, really mad... but after you gave me an earful, you'd still love me just the same.
I never understood why. We're just two imperfect people that found each other. Maybe I'm in love with a ghost, maybe I don't know what I'm doing, maybe I'm wasting my life...
But I'm not going to deny that anymore.
I hope I'll find you... I miss you so much it hurts. But if I don't... I'll still be okay.
I hope you will be too.
Al