Lost
Originally published at Honest Lies. Comments off.
This week has been long and rubbish and dragged on yet gone by really quick at the same time. This week has been all about school, mainly chemistry, because of coursework. I stayed behind on Tuesday and Thursday and yet still couldn’t finish my stupid coursework which isn’t working at all and I’m really stuck with it. Thankfully not the only one who still has stuff to do, though can’t help but feel I have the biggest amount left out of everyone :( So the stress from coursework and from other little things and me over thinking in general meant I was then coming home every night and feeling sorry for myself because nothing is going right and I honestly just feel like I’m being left behind in everything. All my friends are so clever and nice and idk… I just feel I can’t measure up, to them, to other people in general. That and I just feel stupid and useless in general. I have forgotten how tiring it can be to feel so negative and angry and hurt and sad all the time. So yeah, exhausted. It’s half term now though, a whole week to myself, to avoid the outside world and do nothing but sleep too much and going on computer and possibly reading. YAY.
(OK, OK and some work too geez.)
However tommorow instead of sleeping until midday like I want to I am going shopping. By myself though, which is good. I like being alone~ Then my friends are forcing me to go bowling with them in the evening. It’s not that I don’t want to, but I just really don’t want to. I love them but I’m also really tired of being around people. So yeah, I’m not looking forward to it. It’s also going to be expensive and I don’t have money :/
Anyway, I should go to bed now. Have to get up early to organise myself and then catch the train.
I hope everything works out OK tommorow.
(I hope also that maybe after tommorow and this week i can stop feeling so sorry for myself and just get over these stupid thoughts. I feel so lost. I used to atleast have long term goals aand dreams to keep me going but I’m even losing sight of them… )