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updating..
I ruined peoples lifes. people hate me. i tried to take everything back, but you can't go back to the past. I am sorry i didn't listen to everyone, that i was an asshole to everyone. I hurt alot of people in such a short time. I ruined alot of friendships in a month that i had for almost my whole life. I am sorru. really really genuanly sorry. I became the asshole I hated. The person i made fun of. I sucked. I am sorry. I went out of character, i was acting like someone else. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am sorry for what i did to other people. i am sorry for what i did to myself. I am sorry for thinking people change fuck i am so sorry. I could go on forever, just apologizing to everyone. Sammy we talked we're good, we always understand each other in the end, i love her so much. Kyle i fucked things up with him, he became my best friend to my worst emeny to that kid that i was best friends w. and hated to friends. I love you kyle thank you so much for fucken staying by me. Chris, I love him to death, we were best friends since i can remember but he fucked up my life. he doesnt really care about me, I told myself that over and over. As fucken girly as that sounds i really did care about our friendship but its not worth it. Wait I fucked up my life. I won't blame it on chris, he helped but didn't make me do those things. I guess this was my snapping everyone was talking about the john who was just so goody to shoes who wanted everyone and everything to love him who cared more about other people then he did himself, who spent more of his life stressing about other peoples lifes. I just went, i gave up, i became the anti me. I am sorry. I am going to cali in a few months, i'll be gone. I'll make new friends, meet new people. become a new john, a better john. I am sorry.
this entry is really depressing, but thats how i felt lately. I still do. I am sorry
I ruined peoples lifes. people hate me. i tried to take everything back, but you can't go back to the past. I am sorry i didn't listen to everyone, that i was an asshole to everyone. I hurt alot of people in such a short time. I ruined alot of friendships in a month that i had for almost my whole life. I am sorru. really really genuanly sorry. I became the asshole I hated. The person i made fun of. I sucked. I am sorry. I went out of character, i was acting like someone else. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am sorry for what i did to other people. i am sorry for what i did to myself. I am sorry for thinking people change fuck i am so sorry. I could go on forever, just apologizing to everyone. Sammy we talked we're good, we always understand each other in the end, i love her so much. Kyle i fucked things up with him, he became my best friend to my worst emeny to that kid that i was best friends w. and hated to friends. I love you kyle thank you so much for fucken staying by me. Chris, I love him to death, we were best friends since i can remember but he fucked up my life. he doesnt really care about me, I told myself that over and over. As fucken girly as that sounds i really did care about our friendship but its not worth it. Wait I fucked up my life. I won't blame it on chris, he helped but didn't make me do those things. I guess this was my snapping everyone was talking about the john who was just so goody to shoes who wanted everyone and everything to love him who cared more about other people then he did himself, who spent more of his life stressing about other peoples lifes. I just went, i gave up, i became the anti me. I am sorry. I am going to cali in a few months, i'll be gone. I'll make new friends, meet new people. become a new john, a better john. I am sorry.
this entry is really depressing, but thats how i felt lately. I still do. I am sorry