(no subject)
We were going over this short story in AP Lit and we got into a discussion about one of the main characters hands. How she used them for everything, and they were ugly and worn, but invaluable and strong. And from that, since this character represented the past, the past was ugly for that family, but irreplaceable and what made them strong. I guess that really struck a cord in me, b/c it made me think about my past.
I know a lot of things have happened in my past that are very ugly. I know that some were out of my control and some were my fault. But I made it through it, you know? At first glance ((if you knew what happened)) you would think that it was so hard or that its just something that you could never recover from. Especially me, being the sensitive person I am, maybe you would think I couldn't recover. But I can, and I am. It seems that there is this inexhaustible well in me, just this "never give up, it's going to be ok."
It wasn't always like that, I used to want to kill myself all the time, non stop, I was thinking of ending it. But I had my friends to support me and keep me sane. It perhaps drove them to hate me, b/c I have a strong will and a fiery temper. But while it lasted, they saved my life. And when I started writing I wasn't thinking this, but honestly I think that Karima and Sheri saved my life, in more ways than one. I'm sorry that we aren't friends anymore, but luckily, with their help, I don't need those kind of supports, I can stand on my own.
I guess the point I was trying to make was that even though my past may be ugly, it is what makes me who I am. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. I needed everything that happened to become as strong as I presently am. Sometimes I get really depressed and wallow in the past, making it better or worse than it really was, but what I should be focusing on is the present. B/c the present holds so many possibilities.
I know a lot of things have happened in my past that are very ugly. I know that some were out of my control and some were my fault. But I made it through it, you know? At first glance ((if you knew what happened)) you would think that it was so hard or that its just something that you could never recover from. Especially me, being the sensitive person I am, maybe you would think I couldn't recover. But I can, and I am. It seems that there is this inexhaustible well in me, just this "never give up, it's going to be ok."
It wasn't always like that, I used to want to kill myself all the time, non stop, I was thinking of ending it. But I had my friends to support me and keep me sane. It perhaps drove them to hate me, b/c I have a strong will and a fiery temper. But while it lasted, they saved my life. And when I started writing I wasn't thinking this, but honestly I think that Karima and Sheri saved my life, in more ways than one. I'm sorry that we aren't friends anymore, but luckily, with their help, I don't need those kind of supports, I can stand on my own.
I guess the point I was trying to make was that even though my past may be ugly, it is what makes me who I am. And I wouldn't trade it for anything. I needed everything that happened to become as strong as I presently am. Sometimes I get really depressed and wallow in the past, making it better or worse than it really was, but what I should be focusing on is the present. B/c the present holds so many possibilities.