sigh

[bloodred37]

would my life be the same
if i never knew you
would i sit here and long for someone else
someone different...
maybe this other person exists
but i am too fixated on you
no, on us
to notice
or even care.

this alcohol fueled passion
is intense
and real
and GOD! fucking fabulous
but hides itself gently behind closed doors
until i indulge in this ritual
because that's what it is.
i drink so i am okay with talking about you
i am justified
nothing matters anymore.

it's getting harder now.
i'm feeling overwhelmed
like i normally do.
it'll pass.
and i promise i'll do this again
tomorrow
just for you.