why i don't like
I’ve been putting off writing this update, because everything’s still pretty bleak. I found a new apartment on June 1st, but it was a mess - so we told the man to fix everything and then we’d move in. He said it’d be done in two or three days, but after over a week we came to paint and found out he hadn’t done anything. At all. And he refused to take off more than 25% of the rent, while we could see that it would take maybe a month for him to fix everything. So that fell through. It’s double bad luck, because I’d paid him the deposit and he’s refusing to give it back and ignoring our calls. I’m not letting go, though.
The same day that fell through, my parents and boyfriend convinced me to empty the room I still had (with the crazy landlord). Which I did. And it essentially made me homeless. Which is bad! Because the boyfriend had said that if all else failed, I could always stay with him at his mother’s place until we found something. Except, he doesn’t think “all else has failed”, so he’s been pressuring me to sleep over at my parents’ most nights which is flat-out a really bad idea, not even taking into account that they have no room for me and that my father and I haven’t been talking since the second day.
I feel so powerless, and I regret giving up the room at the crazy man’s house, because at least I had a place that was mine. I hate having to depend on others, I can’t stand it, especially when they let me down. I’ve been completely independent ever since I moved out of my parents’ house, and this is especially hard for me. Never again has become my mantra, but in this case it’s a good mantra.
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Other news, I went to a casting for some stupid tv show yesterday and it went pretty well, but I really really hope they don’t pick me. I had an amazing cocktail at Vivelavie in Amsterdam. I’ve been working a lot this past month and I’m expecting paychecks, which is good because I spent a month’s income on the security deposit for the apartment-that-never-was. I went to Rotterdam for the weekend for the finale of some competition and all the other finalists were there too and we had a great time, theatres and workshops and hotel rooms and diners and readings and stuff. I didn’t win, but the weekend had left us so close, I wasn’t upset or jealous. My mother’s flying off tomorrow to see her dying mother (who doesn’t know she’s dying) for two weeks, so obviously she’s very upset.
The same day that fell through, my parents and boyfriend convinced me to empty the room I still had (with the crazy landlord). Which I did. And it essentially made me homeless. Which is bad! Because the boyfriend had said that if all else failed, I could always stay with him at his mother’s place until we found something. Except, he doesn’t think “all else has failed”, so he’s been pressuring me to sleep over at my parents’ most nights which is flat-out a really bad idea, not even taking into account that they have no room for me and that my father and I haven’t been talking since the second day.
I feel so powerless, and I regret giving up the room at the crazy man’s house, because at least I had a place that was mine. I hate having to depend on others, I can’t stand it, especially when they let me down. I’ve been completely independent ever since I moved out of my parents’ house, and this is especially hard for me. Never again has become my mantra, but in this case it’s a good mantra.
-
Other news, I went to a casting for some stupid tv show yesterday and it went pretty well, but I really really hope they don’t pick me. I had an amazing cocktail at Vivelavie in Amsterdam. I’ve been working a lot this past month and I’m expecting paychecks, which is good because I spent a month’s income on the security deposit for the apartment-that-never-was. I went to Rotterdam for the weekend for the finale of some competition and all the other finalists were there too and we had a great time, theatres and workshops and hotel rooms and diners and readings and stuff. I didn’t win, but the weekend had left us so close, I wasn’t upset or jealous. My mother’s flying off tomorrow to see her dying mother (who doesn’t know she’s dying) for two weeks, so obviously she’s very upset.