("Maybe it's better this way," he said/"I loved him and he left me and nothing is better this way!")

[bloodrebel333]

God, what a weekend. Even the housemates knew things were wrong, drinking tea in one of their rooms and talking hoarsely and smiling (as if nothing mattered. As if everything mattered. What could I do?) and telling the other at the kitchen table that I'd be fine. One told me to "delete that sick junk off my phone" ("you sadistic, selfish, manipulative stalker, you're ruining my life, you make me sick") and that he wouldn't be sitting so quiet if he were me, the other just looked at my eyes and stopped skipping about the kitchen and asked what was wrong.

But: I'm going to be fine. Tired of things always being my fault and being the only one apologising. The best friend is coming round today and I need to pick up medication and perhaps I'll go and see the parents tonight and if all else fails I'll just get drunk or find some company.

(Even his best friend told me not to let him play with me anymore, to stand up for myself, God, God, why are women in love so stupid?)

Or, as Damien Rice says- fuck you, fuck you, fuck you and all we've been through.