(no subject)
ok i lied. I'm not even gonna go into gay prom. It sucked that much. Moving on..
Today I had a transition. I feel.. normal. For the first time since I met eli, I feel normal again. Not sad, not confused, not giddy or giggly, just normal, my usual coasting through life in no particular direction but always moving. And I am happy. Yes, Mer is happy. I have decided that as long as i avoid people who's only intent in a friendship is to gain something, or as long as I stop trying to change people who have lost touch with themselves and are now walking masses of emotional blankness, I will be alright. I just need to surround myself with people who truely and genuinely care about me. Almost everyone I know has helped me in some way at some point in time, but the people I want to recognize as helping me the most are Christy, Wife, Jacqui, and Logan. Yes, shock of shock, Logan was a huge help to me. But anyways. I'm not even sure when it happened. I mean hell I woke up this morning and I was depressed as fuck. But I went to school, and I actually concentrated of my work, and it dissappeared. Not just for the moment, but it was like totally gone. And now even when I think of the things that even yesterday would have made me have an emotional twinge, there's nothing. Who knew school could be so benificial huh?
And I might get a job at GNC again. I went in after my classes and talked with Arturo. It was good to see him again. Anyways, I asked him about getting rehired and he told me how corporate is really cracking down on the most random shit. I mean hell, Franke got fired for opening a bottle of water before he paid for it and not having his shirt tucked in, and Ian got fired for leaving out the back door one night. Hell, GNC is so random. But it was such a great place to work. Sure, the big corporate guys were stupid asses, but I was friends with my co-workers and my boss, and I loved my work environment, how small the store was, and how much attention i could give to each person who came in, and I actually knew about the stuff. But anyways he said he would talk to Nancy and some of the corporate people and ask them if I could get my job back. So i'm hoping they aren't assholes this time and actually say yes. Because then not only would I have a job, but I would have a job that I liked. And that would just kick so much ass.
And look at me ramble. I swear, whenever I update its either one line or a fucking essay. Oh well. <3
Today I had a transition. I feel.. normal. For the first time since I met eli, I feel normal again. Not sad, not confused, not giddy or giggly, just normal, my usual coasting through life in no particular direction but always moving. And I am happy. Yes, Mer is happy. I have decided that as long as i avoid people who's only intent in a friendship is to gain something, or as long as I stop trying to change people who have lost touch with themselves and are now walking masses of emotional blankness, I will be alright. I just need to surround myself with people who truely and genuinely care about me. Almost everyone I know has helped me in some way at some point in time, but the people I want to recognize as helping me the most are Christy, Wife, Jacqui, and Logan. Yes, shock of shock, Logan was a huge help to me. But anyways. I'm not even sure when it happened. I mean hell I woke up this morning and I was depressed as fuck. But I went to school, and I actually concentrated of my work, and it dissappeared. Not just for the moment, but it was like totally gone. And now even when I think of the things that even yesterday would have made me have an emotional twinge, there's nothing. Who knew school could be so benificial huh?
And I might get a job at GNC again. I went in after my classes and talked with Arturo. It was good to see him again. Anyways, I asked him about getting rehired and he told me how corporate is really cracking down on the most random shit. I mean hell, Franke got fired for opening a bottle of water before he paid for it and not having his shirt tucked in, and Ian got fired for leaving out the back door one night. Hell, GNC is so random. But it was such a great place to work. Sure, the big corporate guys were stupid asses, but I was friends with my co-workers and my boss, and I loved my work environment, how small the store was, and how much attention i could give to each person who came in, and I actually knew about the stuff. But anyways he said he would talk to Nancy and some of the corporate people and ask them if I could get my job back. So i'm hoping they aren't assholes this time and actually say yes. Because then not only would I have a job, but I would have a job that I liked. And that would just kick so much ass.
And look at me ramble. I swear, whenever I update its either one line or a fucking essay. Oh well. <3