FIC: Seperation (Angeal/Zack/Cloud Rated: R)
Title: Seperation
Pairing: Angeal/Zack/Cloud
Warnings: Violence, attempted rape
Beta(s): Once again, the fabulous etrix, and my neighbour, who is awesome
Notes: So...The angst I've been working on... I have wrote this, re-wrote this, sent it to TWO betas, re-wrote it some more...and I'm still not sure if I'm happy with how this turned out. I tried, but I FAIL at angst! -sob- Maybe it's 'cause I'm sick... Also, I'm not leaving the ending where it is. A follow up fic will deal with the aftermath of what happens in this. -headesk-
“Something’s up.”
Angeal looked up from his book to study Zack. The teen was staring out the window in Angeal’s apartment, looking serious. Angeal waited for a good five minutes for Zack to finish that statement. When no other words came, Angeal prodded,
“Something’s up?”
Zack turned around, blue eyes nervous. “With Cloud.”
Usually, he would write Zack’s worries off as being overprotective-Gaia knew Zack did it to him more than once, but in this case, he had to agree. Cloud had been even more shy and quiet lately. Angeal opened his arms. Zack immediately nestled himself inside and sighed softly. Gently, Angeal carded his fingers through Zack’s soft hair. “Talk to me, puppy.”
Zack looked up, bottom lip caught between his teeth. “I’ve talked to his teachers, who say they haven’t noticed anything. His schoolwork is still excellent and he’s not missing any classes.”
Angeal chuckled, “And you say I’m paranoid.”
Zack glared and hit him gently. “Angeeeal! I’m serious. What if....I mean...What if it’s us?”
Angeal was quiet for a moment. “Zack, I don’t think he regrets making the decision to join us. You and I both know that he is not the one to make a choice like that without considering every angle. So no, I don’t think it is us.”
Zack smiled, resting his cheek against Angeal’s chest. “Why do you always know the right things to say?”
Angeal rolled his eyes. “It’s part of my charm.”
The two stayed like that, cuddling each other, for awhile. Then Zack broke the silence. “I’m still worried though.”
Angeal didn’t answer, but Zack knew he wasn’t the only one.
The next day, it was Angeal’s turn to interrupt Cloud’s class. Whispers rose up from all the corners in the room as Cloud got up from his desk. Once they stepped out into the hall and out of sight, Angeal hugged Cloud to him. The blond responded in turn, thin arms barely able to get around his body.
“We’ve been worried about you.”
Cloud blushed slightly, looking down. “Really? I’m fine, I promise.” He knew Angeal was giving him that look, the one that said ‘I know your lying, but I won’t push it.’
“Well, if you say so,” Angeal sounded doubtful but let it go. “Tell you what. Why don’t the three of us go out for dinner tonight? My treat. We can talk. We want to know how everything is going for you.”
Cloud looked up, a sweet smile on his face. Angeal had to smile in response. “That sounds nice.”
Then, the door opened. “Strife? Teach wants to know if you’re coming back.”
Cloud stiffened, eyes closing briefly in prayer, but not before Angeal saw the small flash of fear. Angeal frowned, studying this newcomer. He was tall, and would become powerfully built when he grew older. Newly developed muscles stood out underneath his uniform. His face looked like it was more prone to sneering then to smiling. Brown hair, cut short and shaggy, was flattened against his skull.
Angeal instantly disliked him.
“I’m coming.” With one nod at Angeal, Cloud stepped into his class. The other teen gave Angeal an indecipherable look. Before he left, Angeal stopped him.
“What’s your name, cadet?”
The teen puffed himself up. “Hikale, sir.” There was an undercurrent of sarcasm in his voice. Angeal studied him for a few more minutes, making the teen uncomfortable. Then, he nodded his dismissal. Not sparing one glance at the departing teen, he left.
At the end of class, Cloud took his time packing up his things. Everyone else walked on ahead. Deeming it safe, he slowly stepped out into the hall.
“Nice boyfriend you got there, Strife.”
Unwillingly, his body tensed but he ignored Hikale and kept walking. The hall was deserted, everyone had already run ahead.
It had started about a month ago. For some reason Hikale, older and stronger than he was, had decided that Cloud was a suitable target for torment. Everyone else was too relived to try and help the blond, so he put up with it. A small part of his brain screamed at him to tell Zack and Angeal about this. But if he wanted to learn to protect others, he needed to start protecting himself. He knew both his older lovers would be there for him, should he ask. But SOLDIERS, even the unenhanced ones, needed to overcome adversity.
He flinched as his shoulder was grabbed. Hiakle spun him around and slammed him into the wall. Cloud’s bag fell to the floor, spilling all the contents. The blond glared and tried to push back, to no avail.
“Get off me.” He kept his voice calm, not wanting to incur anymore of the bully’s wrath.
Hikale grinned, sliding one hand down between Cloud’s legs. The blond froze, panic stealing his breath away. This was new. “You are obviously fucking both of them. What’s one more, hey?”
Something snapped in his mind. Using a move Zack had shown him, he hooked his leg around Hikale’s. The older teen was off balanced and unprepared for this, especially when Cloud yanked him forward. He toppled forward and slammed his head on the unyielding wall. With a grunt of pain, his grip loosened on Cloud’s arm. Grabbing his stuff, Cloud ran down the hall. A scream of rage from the wounded cadet echoed in his ears.
It took a couple of hours for Cloud to calm down. Hikale wasn’t in strength training, or in mediation class. Knowing the older teen was probably at the infirmary, the teen’s heart finally stopped fluttering every time the door opened. He started to look forward to his date this evening, working hard so he would have little to no homework to worry about. The assignment wasn’t hard, and helped to calm him even further. Lost in different, distant worlds, the event with Hikale was a far-away memory. Before he knew it, it was time for his date.
He ignored the roughhousing of his bunkmates and dressed in casual jeans and shirt. Cadets were allowed out in the evenings, but had to be back by midnight, the standard curfew. A few of the teens his age joked about him going on a date, wanting to know who ‘she’ was. Cloud just smiled mysteriously, amused by the fact that they had no idea what was really going on. Sure, there were the few jokers that suggested there was something more going on with Zack and Angeal (like Hikale) but no one really suspected it was true. Zack and Angeal both had told him that there was nothing wrong with what they were doing, but Cloud felt it was better if no one knew for now. It would just complicate things.
Stepping out into the night air, he considered his options. He knew cutting across the open courtyards used for target practice would probably be his fastest option, but he didn’t want to get caught. So he decided to use the hallway where the unused science labs were. That would lead him right to Zack’s apartment. Angeal’s place wasn’t that far off either. He took the stairs two at a time, feeling excited. He knew he was being ridiculous, but he couldn’t keep the smile of his face.
Out of nowhere, a weight slammed into his back. Caught unaware, Cloud barely was able to stop his head from hitting the ground. He was yanked around, and held to the ground. He looked up into Hikale’s face, terrified by the anger and lust there. But Cloud, having grown up in Nibelheim, had learned to defend himself from monsters at an early age. Using all the dirty tricks that would probably get him thrown out of the SOLDIER program, he fought back. Hikale soon received a gouged eye, nails across his cheek and a punch to the back of his neck. Blood flowed from his wounds, each a triumph in Cloud’s eyes.
But it was to no avail. Hikale, the son of a club bouncer, had grown up in Junon. And everyone knew there was nothing that could match the brutality of Junon’s bouncers. With a timed kick to the head, Cloud’s body was shocked into submission. He found himself on his back, staring up into Hikale’s bloody face. His vision blurred as his head wound made itself known.
“You stupid whore. You’re going to pay for that stunt earlier.” Cloud lashed out, clipping the teen in the face. But Hikale fought past the pain, and gripped both wrists. Cloud was spun onto his stomach, wrists tied with something that cut into the skin. He yanked hard, but only succeeded in cutting himself. He could feel blood start to run down his hands. Hikale felt around the small teen’s stomach, gripping the waistband of Cloud’s pants. Cloud’s breath expelled all at once when he realized what was going to happen. He fought and squirmed and tried to buck Hikale off his back, but achieved only a punch to the back of the head for his troubles. He managed to gather breath to scream for help when a large hand wrapped around his throat. “You do that, and I will kill you,” Hikale said flatly and definitely.
Cloud closed his eyes. Despite the fear he was feeling, he refused to cry. His body didn’t listen though, stiffening at the feeling of strange hands roaming his body. He inhaled shakily, trying once more to buck. Only Zack and Angeal were allowed to touch him there.
Hikale tilted his head to one side. “What’s the matter? It’s not like you haven’t done this before.” The older teen stopped, eyes lighting up cruelly. “Don’t tell me you’re a virgin?” His loud, braying laughter echoed throughout the room. “I knew Hewley and Fair were pussies, but this is just too funny.”
Cloud grit his teeth in anger, his protectiveness over his two lovers drowning his fear for a moment. He glared over his shoulder. “At least they don’t have to rape people to get laid!’’He knew by the anger building on Hikale’s face, he would probably be paying for that little comment as well. Sure enough, his face was pressed even harder into the ground, while his attacker’s heavy erection pressed into his back.
Hikale gripped Cloud’s hips, preparing to thrust in. “Can’t rape the willing, can I now?”
Just then, the door opened. Zack stepped in. Unsure of where Cloud was, he set off down the path that Cloud usually took from the cadet's dorms. Now, he stood rigid, taking in the sight with wide eyes. His stare went to Cloud then to Hikale. His usually peaceful blue eyes went green with fury. Just before Hikale was ripped off of him, Cloud had a thought that made him almost laugh.
What an idiot. He goes to attack someone and doesn’t lock the door?
Angeal arrived just after all hell had broken loose. The sights were nightmarish. A half-naked Cloud, bound and bleeding on the floor. A fuming Zack punching the same teen he had seen this morning in the face. His brain snapped to attentiveness. He walked over and pulled his rabid puppy off.
Zack glared at him and his angry eyes glowed accusingly. “He...He tried to...” Zack’s body was practically quivering with anger.
I know. He’ll be dealt with. Right now, we need to help Cloud.” At Cloud’s name, Zack’s anger disappeared. He walked over and knelt next to Cloud, gathering him close and making soothing sounds while he assessed the damage done to the blond.
Angeal turned to Hikale, who was bleeding from the nose and mouth. “You disgust me. You will report yourself to Lazard or Sephiroth in the next twelve hours. Otherwise, I will come looking for you.” The teen’s face paled realized he was this close to being dead. He crawled away before standing up and running out the door. Angeal turned back to the other two. Cloud had passed out; his small body limp on Zack’s arms. His wrists were still bound.
“He used wire, Angeal. His skin is cut to ribbons.” Zack’s eyes shone with unshed tears. The SOLDIER closed his eyes, weighing the different actions that could be taken. The infirmary, which was the logical choice, was out. Too many questions, too many people, and too many chances for Cloud to start panicking. Sephiroth was away, as was Genesis.
`"Let`s get him back to your place. You have some potions there, don`t you?” At Zack’s nod, he led the way out.
Cloud opened his eyes, taking in his surroundings. Zack’s apartment. That explained why his wrists didn’t hurt. Zack and Angeal were sitting on the couch opposite to his, arms wrapped around each other as they slept. Cloud watched them, tears welling up again. He remembered the anger that had crossed Zack’s usually good natured face, the sadness on Angeal’s. How could he live with being the cause of that? Standing quietly, he took ran his hand over Angeal’s face and Zack’s hair. He found a piece of paper and scribbled a note, too upset to make his writing neat. With one final look, he left the apartment.
Later Zack woke up, finding a small envelope on his chest. He read the one line, and let it fall to the ground. Angeal woke up to the sound of Zack wailing.
Zack. Angeal. I’m so sorry.
Cloud stared at the target, his practice rifle heavy in his hands. Caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t hear the instructor give the go ahead for the cadets to start shooting.
“Strife! I said fire!”
The blond, jarred out of his misery, raised his gun to his shoulder.
Two weeks had gone by. Cloud went to and from his classes, acting like a zombie. Hikale’s expulsion from the SOLDIER program was met with little interest. Thankfully, nobody made the connection between Cloud’s recent change in demeanour and the bully’s departure.
Every day, Cloud regretted his decision. But, he couldn’t change it now. If Zack and Angeal weren’t already disgusted with him, then they would be now. Still he couldn’t help but feel proud every time Angeal’s name was mentioned in the news, or Zack’s picture flashed across the announcement board. At night, he would cry silently, dreaming of warm eyes.
Zack stared out the window again, while Angeal sat on the couch behind him. The two were silent.
“I know I should be angry. But, I’m not. I’m just so...sad.” He turned his head towards Angeal. “I’m not being ridiculous, am I?”
Quick as a flash, Angeal wrapped his arms around Zack. “I feel the same.” He rested his head on Zack’s shoulder. “This is so fucked up.”
Zack laughed weakly at Angeal’s cursing. “We’re all screwed up, aren’t we?” He turned fully around, pressing soft kisses to Angeal’s face. “I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. But I feel like something is...missing.” Tears fell as he eyes stared up uncertainly, afraid of any anger or hurt his statement might have caused.
Angeal merely nodded, arms tightening. “I know. I know.” For one of the few times in his life, Angeal was unsure of what to do. Right now, he could only hold Zack as his gaze focused on the blue sky, so like the eyes of the one they both were missing.
Genesis, strangely, felt like he was a mother.
He had come back from a mission only to find that Angeal and his puppy were missing their chocobo. At first he was angry. Who was this child to cause such heartache?
But then he saw Strife, and he knew that he was missing Angeal and Zack as much as they were missing him. It was written so clearly across his blue eyes.
And since all parents were prone to meddle, he figured it was up to him to reunite these three. He just hoped Angeal wouldn’t kill him in the process.
Zack jumped when his phone rang. Too lazy to get up and find the damn thing, he smacked the speaker button. Angeal smiled at this. “’ello?” At first there was static, like someone moving around. Zack frowned. “Hello?”
“You don’t love them, do you?” Angeal frowned at Genesis voice, wondering if his friend had dialled accidently. But all doubt flashed away at the next voice.
“That’s not true.” Zack sat up at hearing Cloud’s faint voice, any thought that this was an accident, flashed away.
“Then why do you run away from them? I know Angeal and his puppy. They do not love conditionally. For some unknown reason, they both love you. I do not see why.” Angeal grit his teeth, resolving to kill Genesis slowly and painfully.
There was a silence. “You’re right. I don’t know why they love me. But know this; I love them with everything I have. They were there for me when no one else was. But they need to stay away from the poison that is me. I’m sorry every day that I hurt them. But the pain I caused them now is nothing compared to the pain I would have caused them down the road.”
There was another silence broken by the click of a tape recorder stopping. “So, Angeal, I believe for once...you owe me one.” Genesis’s voice was quiet. “I’m sorry if I hurt your little one. The ball is in your court, friend. Do with it what you may.”
In the end, they sent Cloud a letter that took a week to write. Zack kept changing the words, the sentences, the phrases until he felt they were perfect, then would change them some more, or cry on it. They settled on two sentences.
We love you, Cloud. Nothing will ever change that.
One rainy night, there was a weak pounding on the door. Zack sat up, blinking blearily. He stumbled over, cursing when he stubbed his toe. His ire died when he opened the door.
Cloud stood there, shivering, in the rain. In his hand, he clutched the letter Zack and Angeal had sent. His clothes were soaked and his hair was flat against his skull. Zack stared at him.
“Did you mean it?”
Now Zack wasn’t the most intelligent person when he had just woken up so “huh?” was the best answer he could manage.
Cloud shook the piece of paper. “Did you mean it?”
Zack focused his eyes on Cloud’s. “Yes. We meant it. We love you, Cloud Strife.” Despite the rain, he could tell Cloud was crying. “We love you.”
The smaller, wet body pressed against his, but he didn’t mind the soaking.
Angeal must have heard something, because he came out of the bedroom. Zack smiled happily, feeling so relieved that everything was finally right. Angeal ushered both of them into the living room. Cloud was clinging to Zack, but revelling in the warmth from Angeal’s body.
They had no idea how long they stood there, it didn’t matter, but eventually Angeal noticed Cloud’s shivering and sent him off to the shower. Before he could let him go, he pulled the blond in close for a long kiss. He ran his hands over the narrow back. Cloud pulled away slightly when he reached the small of his back, right before the swell of that tempting rear. “I-I don’t know if I’m ready for that.”
Angeal nodded, pressing soft kisses to the top of the wet hair. “That’s alright. Go, get out of those wet clothes. I’ll find some dry ones for you.”
Cloud looked like he wanted to protest, but obeyed. Angeal waited until the water was running before he went to look. He found a old shirt and a pair of shorts that would do fine for now.
Zack was still a little loopy from waking up to find out the thing he had been hoping for came true.
Zack hugged Angeal, sighing. “He came back, Angeal. He’s home.”
The burly man nodded. He had both of his babies. Nothing would ever take them away again.
Cloud was waiting, naked except for a large towel that swallowed him, for Angeal when he came back. He blushed when Angeal scanned the outline of his body, but smiled shyly. Angeal placed the clothes in a pile on the counter before leaving.
When Cloud came out, both Zack and Angeal’s mouths went dry at just how young and vulnerable the teen looked in the clothes that dwarfed him. Blue eyes became uncertain, as Cloud fiddled with the hem. His eyes went to the floor.
“I’m...”
Zack stood, pulling Cloud to him. Like Angeal before, he kissed Cloud. The scent of his shampoo assaulted his senses as he again was just so happy that Cloud was back.
“We’ll talk in the morning, right Angeal?” The SOLDIER nodded, watching both of his younger lovers with his warm eyes. “We should sleep right now.”
Later, in bed, Cloud was comfortable. Angeal had arranged it so that he could wrap his arms around both Zack and Cloud. He whispered loving things to them, making Zack roll his eyes but smile contentedly all at the same time. Cloud was happy, surrounded by forgiveness and love. Although there was obviously some feelings that needed to be sorted out, Cloud knew one thing: Everything was going to be alright.