(no subject)
the worst feeling in the fucking world is waking up at 8 in the morning to children screaming and fighting. no one woke me up when they got dropped off. no one told me in advance yesterday when theyd be dropped off. no ones paying me. now, i normally wouldnt care about getting paid. but more and more often, im getting put in charge of peoples kids out of the blue. as if i have no life. what if i had a job interview today? what if i had plans or what if i wasnt home? if im gonna be home i better have a reason for it. so i deserve someone to give me some money. itd be for food anyhow cos theres none here. these kids are from hell, i know it, i hate them. even adam. i woke up to a bunch of glass breaking and yelling. they had been here for 4 minutes total.
i dont have many days left of school. hopefully this wont get any worse. when i move in my new house, thats all ill be doing is babysitting. thats why my mum wants me to move in with her. and she wants me to pay the rent. question number one: how can i pay the rent with a proper job if i have to babysit? and number two: what if im not there or something? i dont need somebody depending on me to babysit. not these kids anyways.
okay, so i understand no one else will babysit. thats because my uncle is a dumbass and just dumps his kids off even when hes not working. the bastard is playing slot machines right now. and he doesnt care that theyre really bad. and he has no money to give anyone for food. if youre the father of three kids and you cant take care of them yourself, something is wrong.
i wish i could never speak to my family again. i really do. all we do is take advantage of eachother. i do it too and im sorry. i try not to. but nobody cares enough to try. my dad certainly didnt try. we treat eachother like shit. an i can honestly tell you that i dont love them. my family i mean. sure my immediate family is fine and im sure i love them. but the rest of them, they can fall off a goddamn building. theyve only been a burden.
this fucking sucks.
i dont have many days left of school. hopefully this wont get any worse. when i move in my new house, thats all ill be doing is babysitting. thats why my mum wants me to move in with her. and she wants me to pay the rent. question number one: how can i pay the rent with a proper job if i have to babysit? and number two: what if im not there or something? i dont need somebody depending on me to babysit. not these kids anyways.
okay, so i understand no one else will babysit. thats because my uncle is a dumbass and just dumps his kids off even when hes not working. the bastard is playing slot machines right now. and he doesnt care that theyre really bad. and he has no money to give anyone for food. if youre the father of three kids and you cant take care of them yourself, something is wrong.
i wish i could never speak to my family again. i really do. all we do is take advantage of eachother. i do it too and im sorry. i try not to. but nobody cares enough to try. my dad certainly didnt try. we treat eachother like shit. an i can honestly tell you that i dont love them. my family i mean. sure my immediate family is fine and im sure i love them. but the rest of them, they can fall off a goddamn building. theyve only been a burden.
this fucking sucks.