Me & timmy getting a hoooommmmeee! <3
I don't really think to listen to music because I enjoy silence so much. But I am excited when its on. When I do choose music.
Timmy and I got pre approved for a house. Its crazy. I don't even know what I'm doing but so far it isn't deadly. It's amazing what working on yourself can do. You never feel like its happening, but just thinking about it gives you that push… being aware.
We are also going to puerto rico…! I'm gonna get over plane riding. It's apart of moving on. Doing stuff you don't like to do.
Timmy is so healthy. It was hard to accept that I need something good for my life. It doesn't matter what I want…life throws this shit at you and gives you options. My walls are so high. that's good.
Every time I try to return to that monster in me, I actually win! I used to be the monster though. There's a very fine line…. I can easily return… But I'm on a roll!!!
I will never say I hate you. You are probably the soul reason I am me.
Secrets… patience… love… drugs… wisdom… worry… obsession… music… tears… childhood…
It's gotten to the point every time I talk to him. I cry. Like there's nothing left of me. He's seen it all. He caused it all. I will have the answers one day. Of why I go on vacation in my mind to be with him. But that's the only time I want to be with him. The story is so much better. Not when you're living it. Just after you got through it and still loved each other no matter what we said or did to each other.
We just would say the worst to each other. Then a week later it's forgotten. I can solidly hate you for a long time. Until I miss you.
Like I was listening to the morning news before work…there were some music guest stars who happened to be some beatle cover band. But I was just putting on some clothes then I hear "black bird singing in the dead of night…take these broken wings and learn to fly all you're life you were only waiting for this moment to arise…." and all I do is lash out in my own head… "jeff plays it better" like I'm still fighting or something.
okay I slowly gave myself a nervous breakdown.
end of story.
Timmy and I got pre approved for a house. Its crazy. I don't even know what I'm doing but so far it isn't deadly. It's amazing what working on yourself can do. You never feel like its happening, but just thinking about it gives you that push… being aware.
We are also going to puerto rico…! I'm gonna get over plane riding. It's apart of moving on. Doing stuff you don't like to do.
Timmy is so healthy. It was hard to accept that I need something good for my life. It doesn't matter what I want…life throws this shit at you and gives you options. My walls are so high. that's good.
Every time I try to return to that monster in me, I actually win! I used to be the monster though. There's a very fine line…. I can easily return… But I'm on a roll!!!
I will never say I hate you. You are probably the soul reason I am me.
Secrets… patience… love… drugs… wisdom… worry… obsession… music… tears… childhood…
It's gotten to the point every time I talk to him. I cry. Like there's nothing left of me. He's seen it all. He caused it all. I will have the answers one day. Of why I go on vacation in my mind to be with him. But that's the only time I want to be with him. The story is so much better. Not when you're living it. Just after you got through it and still loved each other no matter what we said or did to each other.
We just would say the worst to each other. Then a week later it's forgotten. I can solidly hate you for a long time. Until I miss you.
Like I was listening to the morning news before work…there were some music guest stars who happened to be some beatle cover band. But I was just putting on some clothes then I hear "black bird singing in the dead of night…take these broken wings and learn to fly all you're life you were only waiting for this moment to arise…." and all I do is lash out in my own head… "jeff plays it better" like I'm still fighting or something.
okay I slowly gave myself a nervous breakdown.
end of story.