(for Sam and Michael Knight, but also open)

[bloodofthehunt]

She'd meant to find Oz first; as Willow's maker, her former lover and friend, if anyone had the right to be told what had happened, he did. However, a quick search showed her that the young man wasn't on Earth. Cerridwen's eyes narrowed as she caught a glimpse of where he was. Now wasn't the time to distract him

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[oldestbeloved]

Sam wanted a nap. Wanted to sleep for a week, as he'd told Wes. There were still too many things to do.

Right now he was in the library, looking through books he shouldn't have been except that Knight had started to worry him. At least as far as timestream integrity was concerned.

[bloodofthehunt]

She found him, finally, and hesitated, thinking how to broach the subject.
"Sam." Softly, "How...are things?"

[oldestbeloved]

He looked up at her, smiled a little. "Hectic, as always. Could be better. How are things with you?"

[bloodofthehunt]

"Much the same." She winced. "I...was asked to come speak to you in what you might call my 'official' capacity, this time." Not that she typically does this, but the situation's not typical.

[oldestbeloved]

His eyebrows shot up. Carefully, he put down what he was working on.

"Oh?"

[bloodofthehunt]

Realizing how that might've sounded, she clarified quickly, "A...you might say, one of my charges...who knew me personally in this incarnation, asked me to pass on a message to a few of her friends in the event she couldn't do so before...she chose to leave." She blinks, rubs at her eyes.

[oldestbeloved]

Something very like panic flickered through his eyes. "Ah-h."

He knew most of the people she knew in this incarnation. At least, he thought he did. Certainly would know this one, if she was taking a message to him.

Possibilities circled through his head and dried his mouth so that only whispers came out. "And...?"

[bloodofthehunt]

She simply nodded and dug out the letter she'd been given, handing it to him silently. She sat on the edge of the table,
watching his face.

[oldestbeloved]

He scanned it, then read it again. Then again. Then set it back down on the table and looked at her.

Not that he really needed to ask.

"So."

[bloodofthehunt]

Sad, somewhat bitter little smile. "Yes. If I'd known what--" she stops, shaking her head. Simply, "Her choice. I think...she felt others would be safer with her gone. She didn't--hurt, that I can tell you with certainty."
Cerridwen shut her eyes, reopened them. Held out a hand, not sure if she was asking or offering what comfort she could.

[oldestbeloved]

Sam shut his eyes. Did not reopen them. Swallowed through his dry throat, tried to speak and winced when he only managed to croak.

Tried to speak again. "I see..."

[bloodofthehunt]

She swallowed hard, before reaching for him, wrapping one arm around his shoulders tightly. [Sam, I'm sorry...] I loved her,too, she wanted to say but didn't. There were others who had better claim to say that and damned if she wanted him worrying about her now.

[oldestbeloved]

He nodded slightly, wrapping his arms around her despite his best efforts not to crack and holding on tight. Clinging, if he were to admit it to himself, which he weren't. Wouldn't. Because that would mean admitting that he was falling apart and he wasn't. Wouldn't.

[bloodofthehunt]

She held him tightly, stroking his hair, a suspicious tightness in her own throat at his reaction. "Aii, brother..." ['Never pull your hat upon your brows. Give sorrow words. The grief that doesn't speak whispers the o'erfraught heart and bids it break.]

[oldestbeloved]

Small smile, and a choked noise that might have been a sob or a word of denial or something. Anything. [Why?] Sorrow. Grief like crashing, wind-whipped waves.

[bloodofthehunt]

Cerridwen winces, rocking him a little. There's no good answer to that.