(no subject)
so i'm home after being in rochester for a few months and it's quite odd how everything goes back to how it was before i left. there's something distinctly reassuring about smoking a cigarette on the front steps of my parents' house in the cold when i know everyone has gone to bed. it vaguely makes me miss smoking outside of ed's mum's townhouse in jersey in a stolen leather trench. but that's neither here nor there. i really enjoy smoking alone in the cold when everyone else has gone to bed. that might be what i miss most when i decide to quit (again).
a few weeks ago we had our annual biochemistry program retreat. (the department went to vineyard about 20 minutes from campus and we listened to talks and looked at posters.) during one of the drier talks about something i don't remember or understand, i started thinking back to conversations i used to have with someone about what i could do if i failed out of the rock. there were elaborate plans that it's probably best to not divulge in detail (insert ellipses here). the nostalgia put a relatively ridiculous smile on my face for much of that talk, and i've actually been thinking about it often. not so much in that it's still a viable plan, but in that i'm amused by how far i've come in terms of functionality and self esteem. retrospectively, i think i've made some fantastic progress towards being a "productive member of society" and it makes me exceedingly happy.
i still make the occasional unintelligent drunk phone call or need to expend immense amounts of effort to avoid doing so, but on the whole, my life is moving forward and i just might be happy where i am.
i also my have found a boy who is worth flying across the country for. the jury is still out on whether it's a good idea or not.
a few weeks ago we had our annual biochemistry program retreat. (the department went to vineyard about 20 minutes from campus and we listened to talks and looked at posters.) during one of the drier talks about something i don't remember or understand, i started thinking back to conversations i used to have with someone about what i could do if i failed out of the rock. there were elaborate plans that it's probably best to not divulge in detail (insert ellipses here). the nostalgia put a relatively ridiculous smile on my face for much of that talk, and i've actually been thinking about it often. not so much in that it's still a viable plan, but in that i'm amused by how far i've come in terms of functionality and self esteem. retrospectively, i think i've made some fantastic progress towards being a "productive member of society" and it makes me exceedingly happy.
i still make the occasional unintelligent drunk phone call or need to expend immense amounts of effort to avoid doing so, but on the whole, my life is moving forward and i just might be happy where i am.
i also my have found a boy who is worth flying across the country for. the jury is still out on whether it's a good idea or not.