Farewell To Common Sense
We Will Miss Him
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died recently in
the United States.
No one really knows how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes,
factories and helping folks get jobs done without
fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons
as to know when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm, and that life
isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and
"new
math."
His health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In
recent decades his
waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned but
overbearing regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly
implemented
zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for
taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for
reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition. It declined
even further when schools had to get parental consent
to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform
the parent when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals
received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when people, too stupid to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee
was hot, were awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense
threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable
regulations such as those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and
stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by: his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.
Today we mourn the passing of an old friend, by the
name of Common Sense.
Common Sense lived a long life but died recently in
the United States.
No one really knows how old he was, since his birth
records were long ago
lost in bureaucratic red tape.
He selflessly devoted his life to service in schools,
hospitals, homes,
factories and helping folks get jobs done without
fanfare and foolishness.
For decades, petty rules, silly laws, and frivolous
lawsuits held no power over Common Sense.
He was credited with cultivating such valued lessons
as to know when to
come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm, and that life
isn't always fair.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don't spend more
than you earn), reliable parenting strategies (the
adults are in charge,
not the kids), and it's okay to come in second.
A veteran of the Industrial Revolution, the Great
Depression, and the
Technological Revolution, Common Sense survived
cultural and educational
trends including body piercing, whole language, and
"new
math."
His health declined when he became infected with the
"If-it-only-helps-one-person-it's-worth-it" virus. In
recent decades his
waning strength proved no match for the ravages of
well intentioned but
overbearing regulations.
He watched in pain as good people became ruled by
self-seeking lawyers.
His health rapidly deteriorated when schools endlessly
implemented
zero-tolerance policies. Reports of a six-year-old boy
charged with sexual
harassment for kissing a classmate, a teen suspended
for
taking a swig of mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher
fired for
reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his
condition. It declined
even further when schools had to get parental consent
to
administer aspirin to a student but could not inform
the parent when a
female student was pregnant or wanted an abortion.
Common Sense lost his will to live as the Ten
Commandments became
contraband, churches became businesses, criminals
received better treatment
than victims, and federal judges stuck their noses in
everything from the Boy Scouts to professional sports.
Finally, when people, too stupid to realize that a
steaming cup of coffee
was hot, were awarded a huge settlement, Common Sense
threw in the towel.
As the end neared, Common Sense drifted in and out of
logic but was kept
informed of developments regarding questionable
regulations such as those
for low flow toilets, rocking chairs, and
stepladders.
Common Sense was preceded in death by: his parents,
Truth and Trust; his
wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and
his son, Reason.
He is survived by two stepbrothers: My Rights, and Ima
Whiner.
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized
he was gone.