random shit on my mind...
Crazy Ben Shit....
Last night I was online and I got a message from what I thought was Ben. It turned out to be his ex girlfriend who had stolen his phone from him and was wanting to exact her revenge on him. When she figured out who I was she basically went ape shit and told me that I ruined their relationship. That he was supposed to be in love with her and not me. It was so sad. I felt horrible for her. I told her I was sorry and didn't mean to have cause her any pain but he and I had liked eachother before she even came about. I feel bad that she feels she needs to take revenge on someone for a bad relationship. Those things come and go. I mean Ben wasn't a Chris Eber or anything, he is just a spineless guy who doesn't know what he wants in life. One of my last words there her was that I didn't care what she said or did I still love him and I probably always will. Which is true. I have love for Ben in my heart even though he fucked me over. There are wonderful things about him, he just needs to grow up a lot. I have moved on though, there is no point in waiting around for someone to grow up because who knows if they ever will.
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Various Boys
I love british boys!! Tony is amazing he makes me smile so much I can't stop when talking to him. I just wish he wasn't an ocean away. *sigh*
Ryan is hot as hell and lots of fun. He is so sarcastic I love it. I hope to see more of him in the near future but who knows.
Jason is hilarious but I think we are just going to be friends.
I got to see Eric again (see old LJs) it was very nice he even came to RSC on night. He is such a hottie.
Jeff got the ax!!! Because he is a prick.
Kris is adorable, sweet, funnier than all the others, creative; however he can not see being with me longterm. So it works I guess.
Devin = far too sweet! Worries to much. But is very cute.
And waiting to see if anything pans out with Brian the pilot.
I don't want anything serious right now. It is play time for Stephanie!!!
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West Palm and What not...
So I have been in West Palm for a few weeks now and I am having so much fun. I have missed everyone so much. Sammy has been bringing me to Respectables a few nights a week and we have been party'n like rock stars. I finally feel like I am living life like someone my age. Nina and I have made up while I have been here and that makes me happy. She is a great listener and I am glad to have her back in my life. Dana and Sam are amazing and wonderful friends like always. I got to see my friend Melissa who I haven't seen in years at RSC the other night and it was so good to see her. She just recently went through man drama much like I did with Chris. I think I was supposed to come back into her life right now, she needs a friend who understands.
Saturday night when I was at RSC with Sammy I nearly cried because I love it here so much. I really had to fight from balling my eyes out right there in the damn club. I don't want to have to leave. I love my friends here so much, they are all my true family. They love me with out judgment.
I went to leave today and I got to Stuart and got a flat tire. Sam came and saved the day. I love him so much. That is a true friend. I can not thank him enough. I feel like that was sort of an omen to stay down here or maybe I am just looking for reasons to be here.