What a day this has been, what a great mood I'm in...
Last night I had under my roof a group of dear friends (because not all were so dear back in middle school) and what a great time I spent sitting with them and laughing, eating, talking together for hours and hours. I've always enjoyed being the hostess and this only confirmed my love for it. Nothing better than people you love dearly and haven't seen far too long together in a house, warm and happy.
Seeing N + B reaffirmed my confidence in their future happiness. Ushering them out the door, hinting that they need to get in the sack asap - few things change I guess.
Seeing L made me remember how wonderfully simple and pure our friendship has always been. Time does not seem to exist between us.
Ch. was as always a dear. He needs to gain so much of his own strength soon in preparation for refusing to conform to his rentals notions. He will do it however and I trust him to make his own happiness.
C. worried me a bit in her quiet and reserve. I wish her the best and I want to take her away to create her own happiness.
B was as always - perfect. Somehow she manages to travel perfection well and without irritating those around her who will always remain imperfect. I know she will be one of those people who in twenty years from now I will look at, worship a bit, try to hate, but realize I cannot possibly. She's just too damn good.
Then today I saw DW. The love I have for him is reeediculous. He's so much more than family by now. Somehow in the years we've known each other, we have developed a friendship so beautiful that I don't know how to tell him how much he means to me. Whenever we are together I can't. Words well up and I can't bring myself to think of anything that feels meaningful enough. But he does. He is my father, grandfather, friend, mentor, advice, conscience, bird. We talked. About a lot of things. Slowly, calmly, sifting time through our fingers. Passionately, delicately, handling issues in these reserved, quite, loving ways that he manages to traverse so well. I think of him more than anything else when I think of great teachers. When I think of people who establish relationships with students, I think of wanting to sit with him on my breaks and talk. His love of the people around him tenderly passing into my own fingertips. I want to return to Exeter for him. For all those great teachers whom I love so dearly. We stand hugging in the middle of cafes, roads, restaurants, living rooms and kitchens. We hug for long periods of time and its beautiful. I want to caress his head, kiss his weathered cheek. He's become a full blooming character in my life since graduation and now seeing him with the details he mentions - calorie counting, freedom fighting, snow shoveling. Today, we listened to Beethoven's fifth performed by a Venezuelan youth orchestra in the kitchen of his home. In the middle of the piece, I looked over and saw him nodding his head to the music. I felt such an overwhelming flood of gentle caring for his man who in his gentle way has made me a much better person. I stood up and hugged him. We stood hugging in the door frame and when I stepped back I saw his red eyes. Maybe he was allergic, but at the end of December, there are few allergies around. He's something beautiful. He really, truly is.
Seeing N + B reaffirmed my confidence in their future happiness. Ushering them out the door, hinting that they need to get in the sack asap - few things change I guess.
Seeing L made me remember how wonderfully simple and pure our friendship has always been. Time does not seem to exist between us.
Ch. was as always a dear. He needs to gain so much of his own strength soon in preparation for refusing to conform to his rentals notions. He will do it however and I trust him to make his own happiness.
C. worried me a bit in her quiet and reserve. I wish her the best and I want to take her away to create her own happiness.
B was as always - perfect. Somehow she manages to travel perfection well and without irritating those around her who will always remain imperfect. I know she will be one of those people who in twenty years from now I will look at, worship a bit, try to hate, but realize I cannot possibly. She's just too damn good.
Then today I saw DW. The love I have for him is reeediculous. He's so much more than family by now. Somehow in the years we've known each other, we have developed a friendship so beautiful that I don't know how to tell him how much he means to me. Whenever we are together I can't. Words well up and I can't bring myself to think of anything that feels meaningful enough. But he does. He is my father, grandfather, friend, mentor, advice, conscience, bird. We talked. About a lot of things. Slowly, calmly, sifting time through our fingers. Passionately, delicately, handling issues in these reserved, quite, loving ways that he manages to traverse so well. I think of him more than anything else when I think of great teachers. When I think of people who establish relationships with students, I think of wanting to sit with him on my breaks and talk. His love of the people around him tenderly passing into my own fingertips. I want to return to Exeter for him. For all those great teachers whom I love so dearly. We stand hugging in the middle of cafes, roads, restaurants, living rooms and kitchens. We hug for long periods of time and its beautiful. I want to caress his head, kiss his weathered cheek. He's become a full blooming character in my life since graduation and now seeing him with the details he mentions - calorie counting, freedom fighting, snow shoveling. Today, we listened to Beethoven's fifth performed by a Venezuelan youth orchestra in the kitchen of his home. In the middle of the piece, I looked over and saw him nodding his head to the music. I felt such an overwhelming flood of gentle caring for his man who in his gentle way has made me a much better person. I stood up and hugged him. We stood hugging in the door frame and when I stepped back I saw his red eyes. Maybe he was allergic, but at the end of December, there are few allergies around. He's something beautiful. He really, truly is.