Being a soical dumb ass & NYC Unity Fest
I'm so sick of being socially retarded especially when it comes to taking photos. There are so many people I want to meet and photograph but my gay social anxiety causes me to chicken out. I'm so scared of being walked all over or judged in a bad way, so I hate to meet new people. It makes me feel like an asshole when I try to make plans and can't follow through. I'm fine with my friends but lately new people just let me down and I don't want negative drama to spill into my artwork, and that is why I take so many damn self portraits.
If I keep thinking this way I will miss out on meeting cool people and I will never evolve with my photos. It's even harder meeting people from online...I come off as being confident and socially outgoing but that's me forcing myself not to be a fucking creep. I'm constantly analyzing each situation to the point of madness...I'm so sick of it.
So should I just go for things...or risk being fucked with and shit on?
Maybe this isn't the career path for me, I am just not an outgoing social butterfly all the time...
but I will get nowhere if I don't take risks...
Maybe this is just one of those weird days...
Ugh!
Some Good News:
I'll be photographing a 2 day punk show in Brooklyn in a few weeks NYC Unity Fest Payment is getting in for free, which is awesome because it's $60 plus I think I'm getting free drinks and going to the after party.
So the point is, I was nervous because I suck at live concert/low light photography and decided to read up on it. I was just messing around with my camera in low light situations without using flash and I learned some new things. I think I'll get some good photos at this show and I'm happy about that.
If I keep thinking this way I will miss out on meeting cool people and I will never evolve with my photos. It's even harder meeting people from online...I come off as being confident and socially outgoing but that's me forcing myself not to be a fucking creep. I'm constantly analyzing each situation to the point of madness...I'm so sick of it.
So should I just go for things...or risk being fucked with and shit on?
Maybe this isn't the career path for me, I am just not an outgoing social butterfly all the time...
but I will get nowhere if I don't take risks...
Maybe this is just one of those weird days...
Ugh!
Some Good News:
I'll be photographing a 2 day punk show in Brooklyn in a few weeks NYC Unity Fest Payment is getting in for free, which is awesome because it's $60 plus I think I'm getting free drinks and going to the after party.
So the point is, I was nervous because I suck at live concert/low light photography and decided to read up on it. I was just messing around with my camera in low light situations without using flash and I learned some new things. I think I'll get some good photos at this show and I'm happy about that.