Responsibility, we are adults, and we can choose.
I have had almost an entire day of the most erratic inner turmoil I have had the pleasure of understanding. I know am not making all the connections possible, but the important points are made. I still have my close friend, and that alone can see me through. I need all the support I can gather, or that gathers to me. A kick in the chest had led me to a startling truth about how deep my emotions have ran. I am so very glad I didn't lose my friend, the one lady whom written such kind things in the box of envelopes for my chaotic mind to center around. It's no mystery to see how I have grown to love her. And love her I will, my dearest friend. Romance is not needed, nor is the constant contact. I know she cares, true. And this isn't an abandon to love or a fairytale whimsical fantasy. I have been shown in myself what it takes to love someone in the true sense, without qualifiers, without lust, and without matrimony. Positive statements are not meant to block the emotional response, but it does anchor myself not to thrown about by them like it had used to. I am an adult, and I have all the right and responsibility of power to choose how I am going to be. I want to be sound of mind, so these ripe tides of emotions I refuse to control me. I accept only mastery and love, warm and accepting. If life doesn't give me intimacy then I will demand it, rightfully, justly, honorably so that it is whole and unadulterated. Give me liberty of mind, or kill me in my step. Give me a clear heart, or meet my direction with destruction. I will be safe and sound, with those around me that keep my heart, that know me.