Fic: Adventures in Solitude [4/11]
Title: Adventures in Soltiude [4/11]
Author: bloodism
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/post-Season 4 canon-au, romance, hurt/comfort
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/OC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 30, 708
Warnings: fallen!cas, OC's, sexual content, canon-au
12th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
“Thank you.” Fae draws away from the crying witness and sighs. She’d got nothing. There were no solid leads. There was a werewolf running around town and she had no idea who, or where, it was.
Thunder rumbles overheard and Fae watches as rain begins to cascade down from the Heavens.
Cursing, she pulls her suit jacket up around her head and runs for cover. Once she’s safely underneath the shelter of a nearby Chinese takeaway store, she pulls out her mobile to call Jude. It’d been a few days and they still hadn’t reached Riverton, nor contacted her.
Do not phone unless it is completely necessary. Castiel’s firm reminder forces her to shove the mobile back into her pocket. Gritting her teeth, she scans her surroundings, watching as people begin to flee from the hard droplets slapping against their heads.
That’s when she spots him. A young boy with his hood up, face shrouded by a shadow, arms trembling - not with cold, but with fear. It’s in his eyes, and when a businessman runs by, newspaper above his head, his pupils enlarge and flash with hunger. It’s him. Right underneath her nose and right next to the crime scene.
The boy’s gaze darts around, unsettled, and he rolls his shoulders back before setting off into the rain, puddles lapping at the bottoms of his trousers. Fae sets out to follow him.
-
12th July 2010
Manhattan, Kansas
It’s thundering, but it’s distant. There’s no rain, just dry forest. Leaves crunch beneath his feet when he readjusts his footing, and he fires another round. The shotgun kicks back into his shoulder a little, but this time it’s sturdy and the target has an accurate splattering of holes in it.
“You got it.” Jude claps him on the back and takes the shotgun away, popping out the bullets. “I’d say you’re pretty equipped for...” She tightens her grip on the barrel and the cheerful jest in her voice drops. “For whatever it is that’s hunting us.”
Castiel stares at the back of her head guiltily and watches her walk around the edge of their protective circle. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to ward off the angel when it was vessel-less. It was also their last batch of oil.
“When are you gonna tell us, huh?” she calls over irritably, throwing the shotgun through the air. It tumbles across the ground and comes to a halt beside the fire. “It’s been days and you’ve not said a word.”
With an irritated sigh, Castiel turns away, looking out into the thick darkness of the forest. It was typical, really, that his first friend as a human turned out to be so much like Dean. Jude had his stubbornness, his suppressed emotions and she had this… obsession, almost. She didn’t want to be worried about; she wanted to be the one responsible. The one who protected instead of the one that needed protecting.
It was painfully similar.
“I can’t,” Castiel mutters into the ground, hands twiddling with the buttons on Jimmy’s trenchcoat - his trenchcoat.
“Right. Okay. Whatever,” Jude replies haughtily, and she doesn’t sound disappointed. Like she didn’t expect answers. And it hurts because it’s exactly what Dean used to do. She seats herself in front of the fire and her expression is closed off, brooding. Castiel makes his way over, ground crackling beneath his feet, seats himself in front of the flames. Warmth floods his face and a brief flash of the scorching flames in Hell dances in front of his eyes.
It disappears.
“Alright then. No answers on the mysterious monster,” she says to herself, though it’s pointed at Castiel. She prods the fire with a stick. “So, what’s your story then? You’ve been sticking around with us for a while and we never asked.”
Castiel picks up a stick and moves around the embers, unsure of how he should answer. Truth? Would the truth be okay?
“I… had to leave someone,” he carefully chooses his words. “I had to leave behind two very special people. Their lives were ruined because of my family and I was just a reminder of what could have happened. It was for the best.”
The flames sputter.
“You’re saying they don’t know you’re alive?” Jude asks, a little incredulously. It seems she already knows the answer, but doesn’t quite want it to be true. Castiel doesn’t understand.
“No. By now, they would have assumed the worst.”
“That’s bullshit,” she says loudly, and Castiel is surprised by her language and response. “Were you close?”
Castiel’s confused by the sudden question and his mouth opens and closes. Jude moves closer. “Were you close?” She asks, crossly and insistent.
“Yes. We were very close. I protected them and they protected me,” Castiel replies hurriedly. Jude leans back and there’s disapproval in her eyes. She’s disappointed.
“You know they’re mourning right now, right? Do you have idea what you’ve probably done to them? You think what your family did changes what they think about you?” Jude’s bright, and angry, and Castiel can only watch dumbly. She’s biting down on her lip now, like she’s trying to trap her words, but they continue to tumble out, more quiet and suppressed. “Our dad abandoned us. We have no idea where he is, or why he’s missing. He just left. And you’ve just done exactly the same to those two people who you think are special. That was a wrong move.”
Castiel’s lips tighten and he stares down at the ground, at the leather shoes that aren’t his.
“You don’t understand,” he mutters. “I can’t go back. The last time they saw me, I had strength and power. I could protect them. If they see what I’ve become… They’ll blame themselves.”
“So you pretend to be dead because you’re ashamed?”
Castiel watches a leaf dance across the ground and there’s a tiny smile twitching around his lips. She was a lot like Dean. Too much like Dean.
“Who’s Dean?” Castiel looks up suddenly and Jude’s staring interestingly at him. “You said I was like Dean. Is that the person you left?”
He hadn’t even realised he’d been speaking out loud - that was obviously another human trait that he appeared to have picked up on. He nods and entwines his hands together in his lap, leaning closer to the fire.
“Yes. The other was Sam. They were brothers and much like you, they have no mother or father. Dean was… He was impossible.” Castiel smiles at the fire and lifts his head to the sky. It soothes him, that he’s sharing the same sky as them. “He was stubborn and persistent with a soul brighter than the sun. And Sam… Sam was lost. He wanted to do so much for the world, he took risks that tore him apart. And he has so much faith in his brother; in others; in humanity.” The sky blurs, and Castiel closes his eyes. “I miss them.”
Jude’s calm now, and there must be something in Castiel’s voice, because she’s watching him with watery eyes and a soft smile.
“You should find them,” she says softly. Castiel opens his eyes and the water that had welled in them has disappeared. He stares at her and he’s wondering. Would it be okay? Would he really get to see the Winchesters again? He shakes his head.
“No. I can’t. They can’t see me like this.” He tips his head forward. “I would be the ‘third wheel’, as they say.”
“You’re wrong.” Castiel looks up. Jude is smiling and she throws her stick into the trees. The darkness swallows it. “Ever heard of The Three Musketeers? The Golden Trio? The Fellowship of the Ring?” Surprisingly, the references don’t fly over Castiel’s head and he has to smile, because it was Dean that taught him. Jude stands up. “The more the merrier, right?”
Castiel stares up at her and his chest constricts, because Jude’s looking down at him with hope and excitement. She wants to find them for him, Castiel knows, and her expression is just… too much. It’s how the Winchesters had looked at him, when he had switched sides, and they’d been given that tiny spark of hope.
He says nothing to her. Though now, beneath all of his guilt and promises, he feels like he hasn’t seen the last of Sam and Dean.
-
13th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
It’s a trap. Of course it’s a trap, Fae thinks. Her head’s screwed on backwards - her sister’s out there with a lost puppy and there’s no one else around to protect them, so she’s worried and her mind is scrambled.
The boy contorts and erupts into a body of fur and she watches from the corner, silver bullet and pistol ready. But he’s smelt her and his head snaps round, piercing yellow eyes aimed directly at her. She doesn’t even have time to lift her arms. The gun’s smacked out of her hands and the werewolf slashes at her. The sharp claws catch her arm, but she manages to break free before more damage can be done. She’s unfocussed and now she’s injured. Her pistol’s too far and the werewolf is stepping closer and closer and-
There’s a gunshot, and the werewolf collapses to the left of her. She watches the fur withdraw back into the skin of the now-dead boy, a hand pressed to her wound. There’s blood seeping out of his back.
“Come on,” a gruff voice calls out from the other end of the alleyway. There are two silhouettes and they look big. One of them is holding a gun. “Someone would have heard that.”
She nods, bends down to pick up her pistol, and then pulls back her hand. She straightens, lifts her chin up, and walks boldly out to meet them.
-
“You okay?” Dean asks the woman once they’re back the motel room. The gash in her arm is pretty deep, but she seems to be paying it no attention.
“I’m fine. I had it, you know. You didn’t have to save me,” she replies haughtily, twisting the gun around in her grip. Dean’s eyebrows shoot up and Sam lets out a snort beside him. She glares at them both. “You think I’m a joke?”
“No, you’re batshit crazy. Two guys just save your life and the first thing you do is act like it’s no big deal?”
“Well, we’re all hunters here. It’s our job to save people. I don’t see why we need to kiss ass for saving each other.”
“Wow,” Dean says, because Jesus fucking Christ, this woman was a handful. She’s still glaring at them, hostility and wildness in her eyes.
“You gonna get me a first aid kit, or do you want me to bleed all over your sheets? Because you know, I’m okay with that.”
Dean doesn’t know how to respond. He starts to move, limbs jerky. As he passes Sam, he shares a look with him.
“She’s like someone’s sour grandma.”
“I heard that,” she says from the bed, though she doesn’t seem to be insulted. In an act of retaliation, Dean throws the first aid kit at her, but she catches it swiftly with her uninjured arm.
“What’s your name?” Sam asks in his ‘I’m-friendly-don’t-hurt-me’ tone. She stares at him for a while, almost as though she’s thinking of a way to retort offensively, but then her gaze softens. No one is immune to Sam’s face, god damnit.
“Fae,” she says. “Fae Cooper.”
“I’m Sam,” Sam replies with a smile. “This is Dean.”
And then something completely unexpected happens. There’s recognition, and curiosity, and her mouth opens and closes, like she’s unsure about whether or not to ask what it is she seems to be thinking.
“You…” She swallows. “What’s your surname?”
Dean and Sam share a glance, and Dean replies before Sam can.
“Winchester.”
There’s no doubt about it now; she knows them. She must have heard of them. There’s a flurry of emotions crossing over her face and she lets out a bitter laugh.
“Well fancy that,” Fae smiles sourly up at them. “Ellen told me all about you.”
Dean’s stomach hits rock bottom and he attempts to cover his panic.
“You know Ellen?”
“Yeah. And she sure knows you.” Fae knows something and she knows that the curiosity is killing Dean. Sam steps in.
“How much did she tell you?”
Again, Fae goes to say something horrible and arrogant, but the moment she looks at Sam, it seems to dissipate. Her expression falls and she starts to nervously twiddle with the bandage she’s taken out of the first aid kit.
“Not much. To be honest, she talked about you a lot, but I always felt like there was more to you than she made out, you know? She let slip once…” She hesitates and it almost looks like she’s regretting having ever brought it up. “She said you’d let loose thousands of demons. Not with those words exactly, but… She talks about you like you’re heroes.”
Dean relaxes and he actually hurts a little. Ellen was always so strong for him and Sam, but to think that she talked about them like they were heroes… It was a little baffling. In a good way.
“We…” Sam seats himself down next to her and she doesn’t seem disconcerted by it. Sam takes the bandage and starts patching her up. “Ellen’s right. We did. And you’re right. There is more to it. But it’s a story we don’t like telling.”
Fae watches Sam’s face as he rolls the bandage around her upper arm, like she’s trying to decipher him.
“Whatever,” she says, but her tone has lost its bite. There’s a heavy silence as Sam finishes patching up her gash.
“Do you have a hunting partner we can phone?” Sam asks, packing away all of the medical supplies. Fae analyses his work and tests the functionality of her arm.
“I’d say my sister, but she’s a little occupied. Just waiting on her, I guess.” She lowers her head and picks at a fraying thread on her tight jeans.
“Well-“ Sam cuts himself off when he sees Dean’s expression. Dean’s trying to signal ‘no’, but Sam ignores him. “You can hang with us for a while until she can get here.”
Fae looks up and she’s hiding the hope that Dean only catches a glimpse of.
“You sure?”
Sam smiles and Dean curses under his breath, because he knows that look. Sam’s hooked.
“Yeah, it’s cool. There’s a pack of wolves we’ve got to hunt; that guy was only one of them. You can stay here in our motel room, just to be safe.”
Fae gets to her feet and smiles warmly at him. “Thanks.”
She glares at Dean before she leaves. Once the door is closed, Dean folds his arm and stares at Sam disapprovingly.
Sam pretends not to notice him, but he eventually caves.
“What?”
“’Just to be safe?’ Dude, that chick is a firecracker. Totally not your type. Don’t even go there.”
“Go where? I’m helping her, Dean.”
“Helping her.” Dean snorts with disbelief. “Sure.”
Sam doesn’t argue and instead, starts to pull out the sofa bed. Dean’s feeling icy, though he knows he should be happy. Sam’s found a potential wife and Dean can’t deny that they had chemistry, even though it’d been hardly an hour since they’d met. It just meant that Sam was one step closer to finally getting that apple pie lie that he’d always wanted and that meant Dean would be left alone.
For good this time.
-
13th July 2010
New Mexico, Albuquerque
“What are you?”
Castiel and Jude are throwing their bags into the back of a stolen car when she asks the question Castiel had least expected to hear. At first he thinks he misheard, so he says nothing.
“Come on, Castiel. What are you?”
He shuts the trunk and walks around to the driver’s seat.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, ducking down into the car.
Jude snorts and follows him, slamming the door a little forcefully behind her.
“Oh, you don’t know? Really?” She taps her foot on the floor when Castiel starts the engine and he can almost hear the inward argument she’s having with herself. What had he done to make her suspicious? As far as he knew, everything he had done so far had been human and had given away nothing.
“You eat food like you’ve never done it before.” Castiel looks up in surprise, wondering if he had once again spoken out loud. Jude’s staring at her feet. “You cut yourself shaving like a guy whose only just been given a razor, and you have one set of clothes a-and,” She stammers over her words, trying to get them out as quickly as possible, “the label on your shirt says ‘Jimmy Novak’; you’re being hunted by some supernatural creature I’ve never seen before, and you say things in your sleep in a language I’ve never heard.” She glares at him. “That’s not normal.”
Castiel stares at her carefully, and again, he’s astounded by the intelligence of a girl so young. And, he decides, he can trust her. It takes a while and the silence is choking, but he finally plucks up the courage to speak.
“I haven’t always been human,” he says over the rumble of the engine. Jude’s face falls, surprised at his openness. He grips the wheel and stares at the hands that aren’t really his. “I took over this body with the owner’s consent and it resulted in the death of his family and the disappearance of his soul. I was punished for certain actions that I took and was forced to join humanity. It seems that it wasn’t punishment enough - I’m still being hunted.”
When he looks at Jude, there’s no fear. Just intrigue and hunger for knowledge. And it’s a look he’d seen before - in Sam.
“That doesn’t answer my question, but thank you,” she replies, and smiles. It falls suddenly. “You’re not a demon, are you?”
There’s a dread behind her tone that seems to be the repercussions of something personal, rather than general fear. It’s interesting, but Castiel doesn’t think to ask her. Instead, he smiles. “No, I’m not a demon.”
She seems to believe him. Nodding, she turns and puts her belt on.
“Good. As long as you’re not a demon, I don’t care what you are.”
Castiel turns away and pulls off of the side of the road, a warm happiness blooming in his chest. He’d gained more of her trust. And that meant a lot to him.
-
15th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
Dean felt like the third wheel.
Fae hadn’t left Sam’s side. Dean had tried to be nice, he had, but she just treated him like an irritating little brother.
“I’ve got a hunt,” Fae waves a newspaper in front of his face, causing him to take a step backwards. He rolls his shoulders, uncomfortable at his lack of composure.
“In the area?”
“Of course, dumbass. This little town is getting a lot of supernatural attention.” She moves away, and rests a soft hand on Sam’s shoulder. He turns around, giving her a warm smile before taking the paper. Dean rolls his eyes.
“Sounds like demons,” Sam says, scanning the article quickly. “How about it Dean?”
“Whatever. You two lovesick puppies go deal with it.”
Sam has the decency to look a little abashed, but Fae just flips Dean off.
“It’s pretty big. We’re gonna need more than just the three of us,” Sam says.
“How long do you think we can put it off?” Fae asks, the tone of her voice suggesting that she had an idea. There’s a brief moment of silence as Sam thinks about it. Dean just slumps down onto the sofa, beer in hand, and ignores them.
“A couple of days, maybe? Why?”
“My sister and the pup. They could help us out.”
Sam nods.
“Alright.”
-
15th July 2010
Utah, Logan
Jude laughs and kicks Castiel in the knee under the table. Castiel hides a smile of his own.
“I don’t believe you.”
“The women were very confused. I didn’t know that what I had done was considered strange, so I was very casual about the whole situation.”
She snorts back another laugh and shakes her head.
“You just walked out of the cubicle and washed your hands with that expression?” She points at his face, which is completely blank. It changes to one of amusement and Castiel lets out a breathless laugh.
“Yes. I was very surprised when they started to yell at me.”
“Didn’t you read the sign? You couldn’t tell it was the women’s toilets?”
“I’d barely been human for a day. It’s odd, to divide rooms like that.” Castiel’s faking his naivety, because he understands now. Jude knows and laughs again.
They’re in a diner, just hours away from their final destination. Fae had texted them and asked them to meet her. She needed help with a hunt and Castiel had decided that they’d left a trail long enough for Fae not to be in danger.
Jude picks at the bread on her plate with her fingers.
“This whole leaving a trail thing… how does it work?”
Castiel’s suddenly watching her carefully. She’s still trying to figure out what it is they’re running from and she’s hoping Castiel’s explanation will provide some new answers. The past few days had been filled with laughter - mainly on her end - and Castiel’s stories. She loved them. He told them like he... like he could remember each thing, with vivid detail.
During their escapade, she’d gathered a bit more information, but it wasn’t enough. Castiel was still closed off.
“The creature that’s chasing us…” He trails off, and fiddles with his napkin. “It takes a while to locate a person at the right place and year.” Jude has to close her mouth, because did he just say ‘year’? “When it locates us in one place, we will be in another.”
She nods. Still at square one.
“Okay.”
She eats her last mouthful of bread and signals the waitress for the cheque. When she looks back at Castiel, he’s smiling at a family seated in a nearby cubicle. They’re laughing, and playing with a newborn child that’s smiling up at them with new, bright eyes and a toothless mouth.
“Hey, Castiel?” Castiel looks at her. “I don’t know what you were before and what you’re missing, but I know this.” She grins. “You make a pretty awesome human.”
-
15th July 2010
Wyoming, Riverton
The air is humid and there’s no wind.
They’re parked up on the outskirts of the town, Dean leaning against the Impala and Sam fused to Fae’s side on the hood.
“You said they’d be here,” Dean snaps irritably, readjusting his footing. He didn’t want this. He wanted to kick back in the motel with Sam, share a beer, watch the game. Not stand on the side of some abandoned road, waiting for two people who may or may not turn up.
“Clam it, jackass, they’ll be here,” Fae throws over her shoulder. Dean can’t seem to find a retort and grinds his teeth together. He rubs at his chest. There’s something there and it’s burning. Was it a rash?
As time stretches out, it gets worse, and worse, until he gives in and has to tear his jacket off.
“Dean?”
“It’s burning.” He throws his jacket on the floor, a translucent wall of dust pluming around it, and stares. He’s still burning. “Damnit.” He pulls on the collar of his t-shirt to look down at his bare chest and sucks in a breath.
“You really aren’t that patient, are you?” Fae says jokingly, though there’s an edge of concern to her tone, because Dean looks worried. He looks really worried. Sam and Fae move closer, curious.
He pulls on the cord around on his neck and on the end of it is the golden feather.
It’s bright, illuminating Dean’s face, and it’s dazzling. He swallows and uses his other finger to brush through the feathers. The heat is pleasant now and Dean keeps running his fingers through it, because it’s also emanating a feeling of familiarity.
“He’s totally lost it,” Fae whispers to Sam, who’s watching him with a crease between his brow.
“Dean?”
“It’s the feather,” Dean spares him a glance. “You can’t see it,” he says, and it’s not a question.
“See what?” Sam says slowly. Dean rolls his eyes.
“Come on, Sam, trust me on this. I’m not crazy.”
Dean must have said something, because Sam’s not looking at him like he expects Dean to start dribbling on his own shirt. Fae still looks unconvinced, but Dean doesn’t give two shits about her.
He’s about to explain when headlights appear in the distance. There’s a car approaching. They all rise to their feet and watch the run-down, clearly-stolen vehicle rumble over the gravel. The handbrake creaks, there’s a click, and then two people clamber out of it, headlights still blaring. The first person to step into the light is a young boy and Dean’s breath catches because he’s too young. Too young to be a hunter.
“That’s your sister?” Sam asks, and Dean’s eyebrows shoot up.
“Sister? I thought it was a dude,”
“That’s kinda the idea,” Fae smirks and then the ‘girl’ is suddenly walking faster. She runs forwards and throws herself into her sister’s arms, grinning. Fae strokes her hair.
“Did the pup keep you safe?”
Jude pulls back and clears her throat, a little embarrassed by her actions. She nods sternly, though a smile still twitches around her lips.
“Did a better job than you.” She grins and then laughs when Fae punches her on the arm.
Dean and Sam watch the other figure in the darkness, the feather on the end of the necklace in Dean’s hand burning hot, and Dean’s heart catches in his throat because no, it can’t be. It’s not…
Fae grins at Sam and Dean, oblivious to their disbelief.
“Sam, Dean. This is-“
“Cas?”
Previous Chapter | Next Chapter
Author: bloodism
Fandom/Genre: Supernatural/post-Season 4 canon-au, romance, hurt/comfort
Pairing(s): Dean/Castiel, Sam/OC
Rating: NC-17
Word Count: 30, 708
Warnings: fallen!cas, OC's, sexual content, canon-au
12th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
“Thank you.” Fae draws away from the crying witness and sighs. She’d got nothing. There were no solid leads. There was a werewolf running around town and she had no idea who, or where, it was.
Thunder rumbles overheard and Fae watches as rain begins to cascade down from the Heavens.
Cursing, she pulls her suit jacket up around her head and runs for cover. Once she’s safely underneath the shelter of a nearby Chinese takeaway store, she pulls out her mobile to call Jude. It’d been a few days and they still hadn’t reached Riverton, nor contacted her.
Do not phone unless it is completely necessary. Castiel’s firm reminder forces her to shove the mobile back into her pocket. Gritting her teeth, she scans her surroundings, watching as people begin to flee from the hard droplets slapping against their heads.
That’s when she spots him. A young boy with his hood up, face shrouded by a shadow, arms trembling - not with cold, but with fear. It’s in his eyes, and when a businessman runs by, newspaper above his head, his pupils enlarge and flash with hunger. It’s him. Right underneath her nose and right next to the crime scene.
The boy’s gaze darts around, unsettled, and he rolls his shoulders back before setting off into the rain, puddles lapping at the bottoms of his trousers. Fae sets out to follow him.
-
12th July 2010
Manhattan, Kansas
It’s thundering, but it’s distant. There’s no rain, just dry forest. Leaves crunch beneath his feet when he readjusts his footing, and he fires another round. The shotgun kicks back into his shoulder a little, but this time it’s sturdy and the target has an accurate splattering of holes in it.
“You got it.” Jude claps him on the back and takes the shotgun away, popping out the bullets. “I’d say you’re pretty equipped for...” She tightens her grip on the barrel and the cheerful jest in her voice drops. “For whatever it is that’s hunting us.”
Castiel stares at the back of her head guiltily and watches her walk around the edge of their protective circle. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to ward off the angel when it was vessel-less. It was also their last batch of oil.
“When are you gonna tell us, huh?” she calls over irritably, throwing the shotgun through the air. It tumbles across the ground and comes to a halt beside the fire. “It’s been days and you’ve not said a word.”
With an irritated sigh, Castiel turns away, looking out into the thick darkness of the forest. It was typical, really, that his first friend as a human turned out to be so much like Dean. Jude had his stubbornness, his suppressed emotions and she had this… obsession, almost. She didn’t want to be worried about; she wanted to be the one responsible. The one who protected instead of the one that needed protecting.
It was painfully similar.
“I can’t,” Castiel mutters into the ground, hands twiddling with the buttons on Jimmy’s trenchcoat - his trenchcoat.
“Right. Okay. Whatever,” Jude replies haughtily, and she doesn’t sound disappointed. Like she didn’t expect answers. And it hurts because it’s exactly what Dean used to do. She seats herself in front of the fire and her expression is closed off, brooding. Castiel makes his way over, ground crackling beneath his feet, seats himself in front of the flames. Warmth floods his face and a brief flash of the scorching flames in Hell dances in front of his eyes.
It disappears.
“Alright then. No answers on the mysterious monster,” she says to herself, though it’s pointed at Castiel. She prods the fire with a stick. “So, what’s your story then? You’ve been sticking around with us for a while and we never asked.”
Castiel picks up a stick and moves around the embers, unsure of how he should answer. Truth? Would the truth be okay?
“I… had to leave someone,” he carefully chooses his words. “I had to leave behind two very special people. Their lives were ruined because of my family and I was just a reminder of what could have happened. It was for the best.”
The flames sputter.
“You’re saying they don’t know you’re alive?” Jude asks, a little incredulously. It seems she already knows the answer, but doesn’t quite want it to be true. Castiel doesn’t understand.
“No. By now, they would have assumed the worst.”
“That’s bullshit,” she says loudly, and Castiel is surprised by her language and response. “Were you close?”
Castiel’s confused by the sudden question and his mouth opens and closes. Jude moves closer. “Were you close?” She asks, crossly and insistent.
“Yes. We were very close. I protected them and they protected me,” Castiel replies hurriedly. Jude leans back and there’s disapproval in her eyes. She’s disappointed.
“You know they’re mourning right now, right? Do you have idea what you’ve probably done to them? You think what your family did changes what they think about you?” Jude’s bright, and angry, and Castiel can only watch dumbly. She’s biting down on her lip now, like she’s trying to trap her words, but they continue to tumble out, more quiet and suppressed. “Our dad abandoned us. We have no idea where he is, or why he’s missing. He just left. And you’ve just done exactly the same to those two people who you think are special. That was a wrong move.”
Castiel’s lips tighten and he stares down at the ground, at the leather shoes that aren’t his.
“You don’t understand,” he mutters. “I can’t go back. The last time they saw me, I had strength and power. I could protect them. If they see what I’ve become… They’ll blame themselves.”
“So you pretend to be dead because you’re ashamed?”
Castiel watches a leaf dance across the ground and there’s a tiny smile twitching around his lips. She was a lot like Dean. Too much like Dean.
“Who’s Dean?” Castiel looks up suddenly and Jude’s staring interestingly at him. “You said I was like Dean. Is that the person you left?”
He hadn’t even realised he’d been speaking out loud - that was obviously another human trait that he appeared to have picked up on. He nods and entwines his hands together in his lap, leaning closer to the fire.
“Yes. The other was Sam. They were brothers and much like you, they have no mother or father. Dean was… He was impossible.” Castiel smiles at the fire and lifts his head to the sky. It soothes him, that he’s sharing the same sky as them. “He was stubborn and persistent with a soul brighter than the sun. And Sam… Sam was lost. He wanted to do so much for the world, he took risks that tore him apart. And he has so much faith in his brother; in others; in humanity.” The sky blurs, and Castiel closes his eyes. “I miss them.”
Jude’s calm now, and there must be something in Castiel’s voice, because she’s watching him with watery eyes and a soft smile.
“You should find them,” she says softly. Castiel opens his eyes and the water that had welled in them has disappeared. He stares at her and he’s wondering. Would it be okay? Would he really get to see the Winchesters again? He shakes his head.
“No. I can’t. They can’t see me like this.” He tips his head forward. “I would be the ‘third wheel’, as they say.”
“You’re wrong.” Castiel looks up. Jude is smiling and she throws her stick into the trees. The darkness swallows it. “Ever heard of The Three Musketeers? The Golden Trio? The Fellowship of the Ring?” Surprisingly, the references don’t fly over Castiel’s head and he has to smile, because it was Dean that taught him. Jude stands up. “The more the merrier, right?”
Castiel stares up at her and his chest constricts, because Jude’s looking down at him with hope and excitement. She wants to find them for him, Castiel knows, and her expression is just… too much. It’s how the Winchesters had looked at him, when he had switched sides, and they’d been given that tiny spark of hope.
He says nothing to her. Though now, beneath all of his guilt and promises, he feels like he hasn’t seen the last of Sam and Dean.
-
13th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
It’s a trap. Of course it’s a trap, Fae thinks. Her head’s screwed on backwards - her sister’s out there with a lost puppy and there’s no one else around to protect them, so she’s worried and her mind is scrambled.
The boy contorts and erupts into a body of fur and she watches from the corner, silver bullet and pistol ready. But he’s smelt her and his head snaps round, piercing yellow eyes aimed directly at her. She doesn’t even have time to lift her arms. The gun’s smacked out of her hands and the werewolf slashes at her. The sharp claws catch her arm, but she manages to break free before more damage can be done. She’s unfocussed and now she’s injured. Her pistol’s too far and the werewolf is stepping closer and closer and-
There’s a gunshot, and the werewolf collapses to the left of her. She watches the fur withdraw back into the skin of the now-dead boy, a hand pressed to her wound. There’s blood seeping out of his back.
“Come on,” a gruff voice calls out from the other end of the alleyway. There are two silhouettes and they look big. One of them is holding a gun. “Someone would have heard that.”
She nods, bends down to pick up her pistol, and then pulls back her hand. She straightens, lifts her chin up, and walks boldly out to meet them.
-
“You okay?” Dean asks the woman once they’re back the motel room. The gash in her arm is pretty deep, but she seems to be paying it no attention.
“I’m fine. I had it, you know. You didn’t have to save me,” she replies haughtily, twisting the gun around in her grip. Dean’s eyebrows shoot up and Sam lets out a snort beside him. She glares at them both. “You think I’m a joke?”
“No, you’re batshit crazy. Two guys just save your life and the first thing you do is act like it’s no big deal?”
“Well, we’re all hunters here. It’s our job to save people. I don’t see why we need to kiss ass for saving each other.”
“Wow,” Dean says, because Jesus fucking Christ, this woman was a handful. She’s still glaring at them, hostility and wildness in her eyes.
“You gonna get me a first aid kit, or do you want me to bleed all over your sheets? Because you know, I’m okay with that.”
Dean doesn’t know how to respond. He starts to move, limbs jerky. As he passes Sam, he shares a look with him.
“She’s like someone’s sour grandma.”
“I heard that,” she says from the bed, though she doesn’t seem to be insulted. In an act of retaliation, Dean throws the first aid kit at her, but she catches it swiftly with her uninjured arm.
“What’s your name?” Sam asks in his ‘I’m-friendly-don’t-hurt-me’ tone. She stares at him for a while, almost as though she’s thinking of a way to retort offensively, but then her gaze softens. No one is immune to Sam’s face, god damnit.
“Fae,” she says. “Fae Cooper.”
“I’m Sam,” Sam replies with a smile. “This is Dean.”
And then something completely unexpected happens. There’s recognition, and curiosity, and her mouth opens and closes, like she’s unsure about whether or not to ask what it is she seems to be thinking.
“You…” She swallows. “What’s your surname?”
Dean and Sam share a glance, and Dean replies before Sam can.
“Winchester.”
There’s no doubt about it now; she knows them. She must have heard of them. There’s a flurry of emotions crossing over her face and she lets out a bitter laugh.
“Well fancy that,” Fae smiles sourly up at them. “Ellen told me all about you.”
Dean’s stomach hits rock bottom and he attempts to cover his panic.
“You know Ellen?”
“Yeah. And she sure knows you.” Fae knows something and she knows that the curiosity is killing Dean. Sam steps in.
“How much did she tell you?”
Again, Fae goes to say something horrible and arrogant, but the moment she looks at Sam, it seems to dissipate. Her expression falls and she starts to nervously twiddle with the bandage she’s taken out of the first aid kit.
“Not much. To be honest, she talked about you a lot, but I always felt like there was more to you than she made out, you know? She let slip once…” She hesitates and it almost looks like she’s regretting having ever brought it up. “She said you’d let loose thousands of demons. Not with those words exactly, but… She talks about you like you’re heroes.”
Dean relaxes and he actually hurts a little. Ellen was always so strong for him and Sam, but to think that she talked about them like they were heroes… It was a little baffling. In a good way.
“We…” Sam seats himself down next to her and she doesn’t seem disconcerted by it. Sam takes the bandage and starts patching her up. “Ellen’s right. We did. And you’re right. There is more to it. But it’s a story we don’t like telling.”
Fae watches Sam’s face as he rolls the bandage around her upper arm, like she’s trying to decipher him.
“Whatever,” she says, but her tone has lost its bite. There’s a heavy silence as Sam finishes patching up her gash.
“Do you have a hunting partner we can phone?” Sam asks, packing away all of the medical supplies. Fae analyses his work and tests the functionality of her arm.
“I’d say my sister, but she’s a little occupied. Just waiting on her, I guess.” She lowers her head and picks at a fraying thread on her tight jeans.
“Well-“ Sam cuts himself off when he sees Dean’s expression. Dean’s trying to signal ‘no’, but Sam ignores him. “You can hang with us for a while until she can get here.”
Fae looks up and she’s hiding the hope that Dean only catches a glimpse of.
“You sure?”
Sam smiles and Dean curses under his breath, because he knows that look. Sam’s hooked.
“Yeah, it’s cool. There’s a pack of wolves we’ve got to hunt; that guy was only one of them. You can stay here in our motel room, just to be safe.”
Fae gets to her feet and smiles warmly at him. “Thanks.”
She glares at Dean before she leaves. Once the door is closed, Dean folds his arm and stares at Sam disapprovingly.
Sam pretends not to notice him, but he eventually caves.
“What?”
“’Just to be safe?’ Dude, that chick is a firecracker. Totally not your type. Don’t even go there.”
“Go where? I’m helping her, Dean.”
“Helping her.” Dean snorts with disbelief. “Sure.”
Sam doesn’t argue and instead, starts to pull out the sofa bed. Dean’s feeling icy, though he knows he should be happy. Sam’s found a potential wife and Dean can’t deny that they had chemistry, even though it’d been hardly an hour since they’d met. It just meant that Sam was one step closer to finally getting that apple pie lie that he’d always wanted and that meant Dean would be left alone.
For good this time.
-
13th July 2010
New Mexico, Albuquerque
“What are you?”
Castiel and Jude are throwing their bags into the back of a stolen car when she asks the question Castiel had least expected to hear. At first he thinks he misheard, so he says nothing.
“Come on, Castiel. What are you?”
He shuts the trunk and walks around to the driver’s seat.
“I don’t know what you mean,” he says, ducking down into the car.
Jude snorts and follows him, slamming the door a little forcefully behind her.
“Oh, you don’t know? Really?” She taps her foot on the floor when Castiel starts the engine and he can almost hear the inward argument she’s having with herself. What had he done to make her suspicious? As far as he knew, everything he had done so far had been human and had given away nothing.
“You eat food like you’ve never done it before.” Castiel looks up in surprise, wondering if he had once again spoken out loud. Jude’s staring at her feet. “You cut yourself shaving like a guy whose only just been given a razor, and you have one set of clothes a-and,” She stammers over her words, trying to get them out as quickly as possible, “the label on your shirt says ‘Jimmy Novak’; you’re being hunted by some supernatural creature I’ve never seen before, and you say things in your sleep in a language I’ve never heard.” She glares at him. “That’s not normal.”
Castiel stares at her carefully, and again, he’s astounded by the intelligence of a girl so young. And, he decides, he can trust her. It takes a while and the silence is choking, but he finally plucks up the courage to speak.
“I haven’t always been human,” he says over the rumble of the engine. Jude’s face falls, surprised at his openness. He grips the wheel and stares at the hands that aren’t really his. “I took over this body with the owner’s consent and it resulted in the death of his family and the disappearance of his soul. I was punished for certain actions that I took and was forced to join humanity. It seems that it wasn’t punishment enough - I’m still being hunted.”
When he looks at Jude, there’s no fear. Just intrigue and hunger for knowledge. And it’s a look he’d seen before - in Sam.
“That doesn’t answer my question, but thank you,” she replies, and smiles. It falls suddenly. “You’re not a demon, are you?”
There’s a dread behind her tone that seems to be the repercussions of something personal, rather than general fear. It’s interesting, but Castiel doesn’t think to ask her. Instead, he smiles. “No, I’m not a demon.”
She seems to believe him. Nodding, she turns and puts her belt on.
“Good. As long as you’re not a demon, I don’t care what you are.”
Castiel turns away and pulls off of the side of the road, a warm happiness blooming in his chest. He’d gained more of her trust. And that meant a lot to him.
-
15th July 2010
Riverton, Wyoming
Dean felt like the third wheel.
Fae hadn’t left Sam’s side. Dean had tried to be nice, he had, but she just treated him like an irritating little brother.
“I’ve got a hunt,” Fae waves a newspaper in front of his face, causing him to take a step backwards. He rolls his shoulders, uncomfortable at his lack of composure.
“In the area?”
“Of course, dumbass. This little town is getting a lot of supernatural attention.” She moves away, and rests a soft hand on Sam’s shoulder. He turns around, giving her a warm smile before taking the paper. Dean rolls his eyes.
“Sounds like demons,” Sam says, scanning the article quickly. “How about it Dean?”
“Whatever. You two lovesick puppies go deal with it.”
Sam has the decency to look a little abashed, but Fae just flips Dean off.
“It’s pretty big. We’re gonna need more than just the three of us,” Sam says.
“How long do you think we can put it off?” Fae asks, the tone of her voice suggesting that she had an idea. There’s a brief moment of silence as Sam thinks about it. Dean just slumps down onto the sofa, beer in hand, and ignores them.
“A couple of days, maybe? Why?”
“My sister and the pup. They could help us out.”
Sam nods.
“Alright.”
-
15th July 2010
Utah, Logan
Jude laughs and kicks Castiel in the knee under the table. Castiel hides a smile of his own.
“I don’t believe you.”
“The women were very confused. I didn’t know that what I had done was considered strange, so I was very casual about the whole situation.”
She snorts back another laugh and shakes her head.
“You just walked out of the cubicle and washed your hands with that expression?” She points at his face, which is completely blank. It changes to one of amusement and Castiel lets out a breathless laugh.
“Yes. I was very surprised when they started to yell at me.”
“Didn’t you read the sign? You couldn’t tell it was the women’s toilets?”
“I’d barely been human for a day. It’s odd, to divide rooms like that.” Castiel’s faking his naivety, because he understands now. Jude knows and laughs again.
They’re in a diner, just hours away from their final destination. Fae had texted them and asked them to meet her. She needed help with a hunt and Castiel had decided that they’d left a trail long enough for Fae not to be in danger.
Jude picks at the bread on her plate with her fingers.
“This whole leaving a trail thing… how does it work?”
Castiel’s suddenly watching her carefully. She’s still trying to figure out what it is they’re running from and she’s hoping Castiel’s explanation will provide some new answers. The past few days had been filled with laughter - mainly on her end - and Castiel’s stories. She loved them. He told them like he... like he could remember each thing, with vivid detail.
During their escapade, she’d gathered a bit more information, but it wasn’t enough. Castiel was still closed off.
“The creature that’s chasing us…” He trails off, and fiddles with his napkin. “It takes a while to locate a person at the right place and year.” Jude has to close her mouth, because did he just say ‘year’? “When it locates us in one place, we will be in another.”
She nods. Still at square one.
“Okay.”
She eats her last mouthful of bread and signals the waitress for the cheque. When she looks back at Castiel, he’s smiling at a family seated in a nearby cubicle. They’re laughing, and playing with a newborn child that’s smiling up at them with new, bright eyes and a toothless mouth.
“Hey, Castiel?” Castiel looks at her. “I don’t know what you were before and what you’re missing, but I know this.” She grins. “You make a pretty awesome human.”
-
15th July 2010
Wyoming, Riverton
The air is humid and there’s no wind.
They’re parked up on the outskirts of the town, Dean leaning against the Impala and Sam fused to Fae’s side on the hood.
“You said they’d be here,” Dean snaps irritably, readjusting his footing. He didn’t want this. He wanted to kick back in the motel with Sam, share a beer, watch the game. Not stand on the side of some abandoned road, waiting for two people who may or may not turn up.
“Clam it, jackass, they’ll be here,” Fae throws over her shoulder. Dean can’t seem to find a retort and grinds his teeth together. He rubs at his chest. There’s something there and it’s burning. Was it a rash?
As time stretches out, it gets worse, and worse, until he gives in and has to tear his jacket off.
“Dean?”
“It’s burning.” He throws his jacket on the floor, a translucent wall of dust pluming around it, and stares. He’s still burning. “Damnit.” He pulls on the collar of his t-shirt to look down at his bare chest and sucks in a breath.
“You really aren’t that patient, are you?” Fae says jokingly, though there’s an edge of concern to her tone, because Dean looks worried. He looks really worried. Sam and Fae move closer, curious.
He pulls on the cord around on his neck and on the end of it is the golden feather.
It’s bright, illuminating Dean’s face, and it’s dazzling. He swallows and uses his other finger to brush through the feathers. The heat is pleasant now and Dean keeps running his fingers through it, because it’s also emanating a feeling of familiarity.
“He’s totally lost it,” Fae whispers to Sam, who’s watching him with a crease between his brow.
“Dean?”
“It’s the feather,” Dean spares him a glance. “You can’t see it,” he says, and it’s not a question.
“See what?” Sam says slowly. Dean rolls his eyes.
“Come on, Sam, trust me on this. I’m not crazy.”
Dean must have said something, because Sam’s not looking at him like he expects Dean to start dribbling on his own shirt. Fae still looks unconvinced, but Dean doesn’t give two shits about her.
He’s about to explain when headlights appear in the distance. There’s a car approaching. They all rise to their feet and watch the run-down, clearly-stolen vehicle rumble over the gravel. The handbrake creaks, there’s a click, and then two people clamber out of it, headlights still blaring. The first person to step into the light is a young boy and Dean’s breath catches because he’s too young. Too young to be a hunter.
“That’s your sister?” Sam asks, and Dean’s eyebrows shoot up.
“Sister? I thought it was a dude,”
“That’s kinda the idea,” Fae smirks and then the ‘girl’ is suddenly walking faster. She runs forwards and throws herself into her sister’s arms, grinning. Fae strokes her hair.
“Did the pup keep you safe?”
Jude pulls back and clears her throat, a little embarrassed by her actions. She nods sternly, though a smile still twitches around her lips.
“Did a better job than you.” She grins and then laughs when Fae punches her on the arm.
Dean and Sam watch the other figure in the darkness, the feather on the end of the necklace in Dean’s hand burning hot, and Dean’s heart catches in his throat because no, it can’t be. It’s not…
Fae grins at Sam and Dean, oblivious to their disbelief.
“Sam, Dean. This is-“
“Cas?”
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