Second Drabble
I’m always next to you.
And I will always be.
It sounds ridiculously clingy, doesn’t it? You’re popular and rich, not to mention smart and athletic. I’m just a nerd who always ranks second after you in academics and a kendo freak. Though we’re best friends, we can’t even see eye to eye at school.
But that doesn’t matter, I guess. We’re always together on days you’re not busy, or during days where you want to study alone and not in a group with others.
We laugh and joke like best friends, since we are, but in the face of your other friends, you ignore me along with their snide comments on my look. Though you apologize for it later and because of that, I can’t stay mad at you.
I don’t know when I started remotely liking you more than a brother, but the more I liked you, the more afraid I was of losing you. I decided to fade into the background so I could be there for you when others weren’t. I studied hard so I could get into the same high school as you. Though the only thing I didn’t change was kendo. I kept practicing because other then reading, writing and painting, it was one of my most favorite activities.
During sparring, I like the way your hair is visible through the helmet, a brilliant fire red, like the sunset. Though you’re a lot better at kendo then I am; I’m proud that I can hold my own against you compared to everyone else.
I love to listen to you sing and play your guitar, sometimes adding my own lower-than-normal singing voice to yours.
But lately you’ve been too busy to hang out anymore. It’s frustrating, to me at least, though you’ll never know it. I know your history and every detail of your life, and the pain you endured and I don’t like interfering with peoples’ love life. As long as you don’t suffer again, I’m happy.
The girl you like, Yukishiro Tomoe, is really nice. She sometimes helps me gather my stuff when someone purposely trips me.
Or at least, that’s what I used to think. Though I know the truth about her, I don’t want to hurt you, it’s scary since I can’t do anything. I don’t even talk to Hiko-san about it either.
I promised not to keep secrets from you, that I would tell you everything. But there’s one secret I had long before we met, something I could never really tell you.
I wear large nerdy glasses for a reason, and it isn’t because I’m super nearsighted, it’s a disguise.
Nor can I tell you why I always braid my hair into two old fashioned braids.
And nor can I tell you why I have an extra set of clothes in my back pack.
When I’m stressed, I’m angry. And when I’m angry, I tend to break things. But I couldn’t act that way at home when I was young. My grandmother would punish me if I did.
So I settled for relieving my anger and stress outside of the house, away from my lady-like grandmother. I dress as a boy and no one knows it’s me because my hair is pulled into a high pony tail and I wear brown contacts.
Yesterday, I hospitalized someone. I was so angry that I nearly killed a person. If it wasn’t for Aoshi, he would have died.
I’m angry, I still am, but it’s a different anger, a cold one. I’m slightly scared; I don’t feel guilty at all for nearly killing someone.
But, let’s get back to the point, the main thing that triggered this anger. The reason is simple; Tomoe.
I’m afraid if I tell you, you’ll hate me, thinking that I was jealous. I’ve seen what you’ve done to people who insulted her, and I’m not suicidal.
My mind wanders back to the man Tomoe was meeting. I had seen him a couple times on the football team, the star quarterback, Kiyosato Akira. I also knew he was as popular as you; all the girls would swoon at the sight of him too. Who wouldn’t? Not me, but rather everyone else.
Though I knew I shouldn’t have, I snooped around, sitting in the seat behind their loveseat in the little café. And you know what?
I just discovered, not everyone is what they seem to be. Tomoe is no exception. She was a total ice cubed bitch.
The way she talked about you with Akira made my teeth ache, which doubled as she snapped at the waitress that she thought was idling to long at their table. It took all my will power not to get up, walk up to her, and slap her. But knowing you would probably hunt me down made me less likely to do it.
Only Aoshi knows, and Misao. They are the only two people that I have known longer then you.
I realize that I’m bitter over it. I’m bitter at your possessiveness over Tomoe, which causes your refusal to hear any truth. I’m also bitter at the fact that you love her, when I love you, and I have loved you for over ten years.