I never said I was perfect
Ill be a fucking bitch. To those who deserve it. I wont step around you quietly hoping not to disrupt your precious lives when you Ive me a reason to sream everything out. Fuck that. fuck it all. No Im not always the happy polite Jen when people pretty much call me a whore, bitch, and do shit they said theyd never do. And fuck double standards. You know, everything I said so far, that IS me being polite, more than I could be, more than I want to be anyway. Since Im letting everything out of me....
You know whats really been tearing at me Carl? Why he fuck was I the one who HAD to leave? I was paying my half of the rent. It was as much my house, my room as it was yours (although you didnt make it seem that way, it was still yours). And I had to move out. That night even. Your grandparents were paying your part anyway, I paid mine. Punk rock. I didnt have a job because I wasnt able to get one without my identification, you didnt walk across the street to apply at walgreens for several months. How many did you apply for in all that time? Maybe.. four? Or did you finally get off your ass when I left? Glad you got that job, wonder how long thatll last until you are supported by our grandparents again. You always said, "Its ok, theyll pay for me. They dont mind."
But I was the one who had to move out, without question. It was never my house was it Carl? You never thought you were sharing your room, you were letting me stay there. With my and your grandparents money. And now I am waiting to see where the fuck Ill be ending up. And Im struggling. And feel Im b urdening good friends. When I actually HAD a house, I was paying rent to live somewhere for once in my life, it was not recognized as any part mine. Thankyou for taking that away from me.
It hurt me before but now I can say fuck you with a smile. :)
You know whats really been tearing at me Carl? Why he fuck was I the one who HAD to leave? I was paying my half of the rent. It was as much my house, my room as it was yours (although you didnt make it seem that way, it was still yours). And I had to move out. That night even. Your grandparents were paying your part anyway, I paid mine. Punk rock. I didnt have a job because I wasnt able to get one without my identification, you didnt walk across the street to apply at walgreens for several months. How many did you apply for in all that time? Maybe.. four? Or did you finally get off your ass when I left? Glad you got that job, wonder how long thatll last until you are supported by our grandparents again. You always said, "Its ok, theyll pay for me. They dont mind."
But I was the one who had to move out, without question. It was never my house was it Carl? You never thought you were sharing your room, you were letting me stay there. With my and your grandparents money. And now I am waiting to see where the fuck Ill be ending up. And Im struggling. And feel Im b urdening good friends. When I actually HAD a house, I was paying rent to live somewhere for once in my life, it was not recognized as any part mine. Thankyou for taking that away from me.
It hurt me before but now I can say fuck you with a smile. :)