(no subject)

[bloodfilledlung]

maybe im an idiot maye they are right
maybe i should just suck up my life with ym ex drug habits.
my smile is just a big bluff
i want out
i dont knwo why
but i feel as though im gonna snap
ive been holding in my tears
like i feel the tears start but i just breath
and blow it off
but when it happens again
i get mad
because i know that its just gonna be like before
ending up in the hospital for shit that i dont even remeber doing
poping too many pills
cutting too dead
shit liek that
i dont want that anymore
but i knwo its gonna happen
cause im getting back into that rutine.
i want to say i love you and mean it
i want to say good morining and mean it
i wanna say Im sorry and not feel bad caus eim lying
i want to be normal