Just 'cause I feel random; some quotes from Stephen Colbert!
Thankfully, there are three celebrity relationship that are strong enough not only to last, but to teach the rest of us. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner, and William H Macy and Felicity Huffman. From their example, I've created "Stephen's Laws of Love" There are four laws, follow them and you'll be a happy and succesful husband and/or wife. Law number one: find someone who's name can be merged with yours to form a marketable nickname. Just like Brangelina, Bennifer 2, or... Fillam H. Muffman...
[Stephen cracks up over the name, putting his cards over his face, but still visibly cracking up in a rare display]
The merged names... the merged names symbolize your un...
[He cracks up again]
... got a little something in my eye there. The merged names symbolize your unity and creates headline space, so that the phrase "sex tape" can be printed below it in a larger font. Law number two, marry someone within...
[Stephen almost cracks up again]
... marry someone in the exact same field as you. If possible, someone you work with. After all, it worked for "Mr and Mrs Smith", "Daredevil" and "The Splendiferous Zeppelin Escapades of Filliam H. Muffman" Not enough people saw that one.
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Dr King envisioned a day when the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slaveowners, could sit down together at the table of brotherhood. For a feast of plently. I believe that day has come. And what I wanna know is... what will we have for dessert? I can't speak for others, but for my own part... I have a dreamsicle.
[Holds up a popsicle]
Mr King saw the South sweltering with the heat of oppression! Well, what better way to cool off than with a frozen... tasty confection? I have... a dreamsicle.
[Takes a bite out of the popsicle]
He wanted children not to be judged by the color of their skin, but by the content of their character! Just like this dreamsicle! If you judged it souly by it's outer shell, you'd think it was a sorbe. You'd be missing out on all it's inner, creamy contents.
[Takes another bite]
I have a dreamsicle! Look at the way the white and the orange are working together, side by side in harmony.
[Takes another bite]
Mmm... I really wish you could taste this! If you think of the orange part as white people, and the white part as black people, it's almost as if the two races are holding hands. Because all men are created equal... equally delicious! I have a dreamsicle!
[Takes another bite]
And... in his last lines, Dr King envisions every valley exhaulted, every hill made... GOD!
[Holds his forehead]
Aggh, brain freeze! Oohhh... ahhh! Oh Jesus, that hurt! Ugh, forget it! Nothing's worth this pain... good night.
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I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!
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