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Josh got back Monday right... Well I just talked to him and now I feel like crying. Here's our conversation.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:23:00 PM): Hey it's Brandi.
Namlessno1 (4:23:19 PM): which one?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:23:25 PM): Brandi Ray.
Namlessno1 (4:23:34 PM): ah...
Namlessno1 (4:23:42 PM): howdy
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:24:29 PM): How are you..
Namlessno1 (4:25:31 PM): alright
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:25:50 PM): I have to go to BOAT tonight.
Namlessno1 (4:26:09 PM): and why is that?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:26:16 PM): Drugs
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:26:47 PM): Yeah a lot of crap has happened to me since you left.
Namlessno1 (4:27:07 PM): so I've heard
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:27:14 PM): From who?
Namlessno1 (4:28:09 PM): Sheena
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:28:53 PM): Oh...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:29:42 PM): Sheena hates me now...haha...we went out and shit and then she cheated on me with Jennifer and she ignored me after that...I fucked her boyfriend for doing that shit to me...
Namlessno1 (4:30:49 PM): wow... not much has changed has it?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:01 PM): Nope...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:37 PM): My dad buys me cigarettes now..haha I didn't start smoking pot and doing coke until after you left...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:51 PM): Things got worse.
Namlessno1 (4:33:57 PM): uh huh...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:34:16 PM): Not that interesting...heh
Namlessno1 (4:35:25 PM): just not surprised, thats all
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:36:10 PM): Hmm..
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:36:50 PM): What are you doing today.
Namlessno1 (4:37:01 PM): homework
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:37:26 PM): Hmm
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:38:18 PM): What are you doing this weekend.
Namlessno1 (4:39:13 PM): most likely working
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:39:27 PM): Working you have a job?
Namlessno1 (4:40:01 PM): I might... I'll find out Friday
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:40:06 PM): Oh,
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:40:09 PM): Where at?
Namlessno1 (4:40:23 PM): taco bell
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:45:29 PM): I'm going to my girlfriend's house to drink Friday night,
Namlessno1 (4:45:47 PM): have I ever told you how dumb you are
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:46:11 PM): Yes plenty of times.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:46:37 PM): Have I ever told you you're a hipacrit.
Namlessno1 (4:47:39 PM): I'm telling you, the way you're heading, you're going to end up in a place that I was. You don't want you go there. You need to stop while you can so you don't end up that way.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:49:16 PM): I know....it's really hard..
Namlessno1 (4:49:43 PM): if I can do it, anyone can
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:49:49 PM): Drugs make me feel better about myself...it's the only time I'm really happy you know.
Namlessno1 (4:51:35 PM): I used to be the same way.
Namlessno1 (4:51:43 PM): You can change that
Namlessno1 (4:51:57 PM): You're just not trying
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:52:12 PM): I kinda have to....BOAT piss tests me every wednesday or every other week.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:52:26 PM): Depends on when they want to do it.
Namlessno1 (4:52:44 PM): it's not just the drugs that have to change
Namlessno1 (4:52:51 PM): you need to choose better friends
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:53:12 PM): Ugh...
Namlessno1 (4:53:43 PM): and the whole crazed sex addict thing probably isn't helping either
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:05 PM): Not really.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:29 PM): I fuck every guy I go out with no matter what...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:49 PM): I've even fucked guys I never went out with.
Namlessno1 (4:55:12 PM): yeah... that's probably a bad thing
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:55:21 PM): Pretty much/
Namlessno1 signed on at 4:56:46 PM.
Namlessno1 (4:59:20 PM): I mean... the sex thing isn't bad. You're a teenage girl. You're going to want it. But with a lot of guys, it not only gives you the reputation of a whore, but it's a health hazard too. So if you want sex, try finding one guy and just fuck the hell out of him as much as you want
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:01:44 PM): Why I date so many guys is because they break up with me for having so many problems like the last one I went out with for two months and I loved him to death but then he dumped me because my anxiety attacks freaks him out...which was bullshit. I just got a new boyfriend today.
Namlessno1 (5:02:49 PM): then find one that will be ok with it and just dont fuck him until your sure
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:03:23 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:03:53 PM): I think he'll be okay with it because he said he has really bad anxiety attacks too.
Namlessno1 (5:04:32 PM): then you'll be one happy freaking out couple
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:04:40 PM): Lol
Namlessno1 (5:06:06 PM): so you got any pics of what you look like now?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:06:40 PM): Um..
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:06:47 PM): Two.
Namlessno1 (5:06:57 PM): email then to me
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:07:10 PM): Ok you're emails this screename right
Namlessno1 (5:07:20 PM): yeah
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:08:28 PM): One of them I look horrible as fuck...because I was high and the picture was unexpected.
Namlessno1 (5:08:36 PM): thats ok
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:14:10 PM): I got my toungue peirced
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:14:30 PM): Okay I sent them.
Namlessno1 (5:15:55 PM): send the first one again...the email didnt have a pic in it
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:01 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:10 PM): That other pic is horrifble isn't it.
Namlessno1 (5:16:21 PM): havnt seen it yet
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:43 PM): Oh.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:52 PM): I sent it.
Namlessno1 (5:17:45 PM): OMG you have hair
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:17:52 PM): Yep.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:17:58 PM): Lol
Namlessno1 (5:18:03 PM): hold on brb
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:18:06 PM): Ok
Namlessno1 (5:19:07 PM): ok
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:23 PM): Did you get both of them?
Namlessno1 (5:19:28 PM): yeah
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:31 PM): Ok..
Namlessno1 (5:19:35 PM): I don't have hair anymore
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:53 PM): How short is it.
Namlessno1 (5:20:18 PM): shorter then you've ever seen it
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:27 PM): Poo =[
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:38 PM): I loved your hair.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:51 PM): But it doesn't matter anyway..you know
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:02 PM): You mean it's too short to even pull it?
Namlessno1 (5:21:14 PM): If I can find the cord for the camera I'll send you a pic
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:25 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:48 PM): Can I ask you a favor?
Namlessno1 (5:22:54 PM): huh?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:23:17 PM): Can you come over to see me tomorrow after school?
Namlessno1 (5:23:35 PM): Eh... I don't know if that would be a good idea
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:23:44 PM): Why...cuz of Cassie.
Namlessno1 (5:23:54 PM): That's one reason
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:24:04 PM): What's the other reasons.
Namlessno1 (5:25:22 PM): Well, because if my parents find out, I'll get violated for probation, and because things usually end up happening when I see you.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:25:39 PM): What do you mean things happen.
Namlessno1 (5:26:02 PM): Come on I know you failed and all but your not that slow
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:26:27 PM): Lol...but you're saying it'd be me doing things and not you right.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:26:43 PM): If I did something you'd allow me to do it...
Namlessno1 (5:27:05 PM): not anymore
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:17 PM): Exactly.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:24 PM): I wouldn't do anything.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:43 PM): Because I know you wouldn't do anything back so what's the point.
Namlessno1 (5:28:03 PM): That doesn't mean you wouldn't try...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:15 PM): Oh come on...
Namlessno1 (5:28:37 PM): Just think about what happend last time...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:48 PM): What happened last time.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:55 PM): I don't remember.
Namlessno1 (5:29:07 PM): Oh I'm pretty sure you do
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:29:13 PM): I don't seriously.
Namlessno1 (5:31:57 PM): Well that's not the point. The point is, is that I've been in jail for a very long time. And though I might not want to in my mind, my body might not give a rats ass. And I'm about 95% sure that you would try anyway so it's not a good idea.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:32:22 PM): I wouldn't try anything!
Namlessno1 (5:32:48 PM): Then why is it you want me to come over
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:33:41 PM): Because I haven't seen you in forever and we stopped talking for a long ass time... I just wanted to catch up on things. Friends...you know.
Namlessno1 (5:34:20 PM): Well in case you haven't noticed, we're talking right now.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:34:34 PM): Yeah.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:34:49 PM): I know.
Namlessno1 (5:35:21 PM): I know about the dreams ya know.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:35:51 PM):
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:36:14 PM): Of course Aurora would tell you.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:36:24 PM): God that's fucked up.
Namlessno1 (5:36:45 PM): So tell me again why it is that you want me to come over
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:02 PM): I miss you OKAY!
Namlessno1 (5:37:21 PM): I have to go to an appointment
Namlessno1 (5:37:25 PM): Ill be back later
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:31 PM): Ok..
Namlessno1 (5:37:41 PM): We'll talk more about this then
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:45 PM): Ok.
Namlessno1 (5:37:48 PM): bye
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:52 PM): Bye
Namlessno1 signed off at 5:37:55 PM.
Aurora was not suppose to fucking tell him about the dreams I had about him. I was just thinking about him a lot and I realized how much I miss him. I didn't want her to tell him that's fucked up. I'm so depressed... =[
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:23:00 PM): Hey it's Brandi.
Namlessno1 (4:23:19 PM): which one?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:23:25 PM): Brandi Ray.
Namlessno1 (4:23:34 PM): ah...
Namlessno1 (4:23:42 PM): howdy
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:24:29 PM): How are you..
Namlessno1 (4:25:31 PM): alright
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:25:50 PM): I have to go to BOAT tonight.
Namlessno1 (4:26:09 PM): and why is that?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:26:16 PM): Drugs
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:26:47 PM): Yeah a lot of crap has happened to me since you left.
Namlessno1 (4:27:07 PM): so I've heard
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:27:14 PM): From who?
Namlessno1 (4:28:09 PM): Sheena
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:28:53 PM): Oh...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:29:42 PM): Sheena hates me now...haha...we went out and shit and then she cheated on me with Jennifer and she ignored me after that...I fucked her boyfriend for doing that shit to me...
Namlessno1 (4:30:49 PM): wow... not much has changed has it?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:01 PM): Nope...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:37 PM): My dad buys me cigarettes now..haha I didn't start smoking pot and doing coke until after you left...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:31:51 PM): Things got worse.
Namlessno1 (4:33:57 PM): uh huh...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:34:16 PM): Not that interesting...heh
Namlessno1 (4:35:25 PM): just not surprised, thats all
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:36:10 PM): Hmm..
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:36:50 PM): What are you doing today.
Namlessno1 (4:37:01 PM): homework
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:37:26 PM): Hmm
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:38:18 PM): What are you doing this weekend.
Namlessno1 (4:39:13 PM): most likely working
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:39:27 PM): Working you have a job?
Namlessno1 (4:40:01 PM): I might... I'll find out Friday
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:40:06 PM): Oh,
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:40:09 PM): Where at?
Namlessno1 (4:40:23 PM): taco bell
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:45:29 PM): I'm going to my girlfriend's house to drink Friday night,
Namlessno1 (4:45:47 PM): have I ever told you how dumb you are
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:46:11 PM): Yes plenty of times.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:46:37 PM): Have I ever told you you're a hipacrit.
Namlessno1 (4:47:39 PM): I'm telling you, the way you're heading, you're going to end up in a place that I was. You don't want you go there. You need to stop while you can so you don't end up that way.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:49:16 PM): I know....it's really hard..
Namlessno1 (4:49:43 PM): if I can do it, anyone can
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:49:49 PM): Drugs make me feel better about myself...it's the only time I'm really happy you know.
Namlessno1 (4:51:35 PM): I used to be the same way.
Namlessno1 (4:51:43 PM): You can change that
Namlessno1 (4:51:57 PM): You're just not trying
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:52:12 PM): I kinda have to....BOAT piss tests me every wednesday or every other week.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:52:26 PM): Depends on when they want to do it.
Namlessno1 (4:52:44 PM): it's not just the drugs that have to change
Namlessno1 (4:52:51 PM): you need to choose better friends
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:53:12 PM): Ugh...
Namlessno1 (4:53:43 PM): and the whole crazed sex addict thing probably isn't helping either
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:05 PM): Not really.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:29 PM): I fuck every guy I go out with no matter what...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:54:49 PM): I've even fucked guys I never went out with.
Namlessno1 (4:55:12 PM): yeah... that's probably a bad thing
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (4:55:21 PM): Pretty much/
Namlessno1 signed on at 4:56:46 PM.
Namlessno1 (4:59:20 PM): I mean... the sex thing isn't bad. You're a teenage girl. You're going to want it. But with a lot of guys, it not only gives you the reputation of a whore, but it's a health hazard too. So if you want sex, try finding one guy and just fuck the hell out of him as much as you want
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:01:44 PM): Why I date so many guys is because they break up with me for having so many problems like the last one I went out with for two months and I loved him to death but then he dumped me because my anxiety attacks freaks him out...which was bullshit. I just got a new boyfriend today.
Namlessno1 (5:02:49 PM): then find one that will be ok with it and just dont fuck him until your sure
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:03:23 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:03:53 PM): I think he'll be okay with it because he said he has really bad anxiety attacks too.
Namlessno1 (5:04:32 PM): then you'll be one happy freaking out couple
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:04:40 PM): Lol
Namlessno1 (5:06:06 PM): so you got any pics of what you look like now?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:06:40 PM): Um..
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:06:47 PM): Two.
Namlessno1 (5:06:57 PM): email then to me
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:07:10 PM): Ok you're emails this screename right
Namlessno1 (5:07:20 PM): yeah
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:08:28 PM): One of them I look horrible as fuck...because I was high and the picture was unexpected.
Namlessno1 (5:08:36 PM): thats ok
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:14:10 PM): I got my toungue peirced
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:14:30 PM): Okay I sent them.
Namlessno1 (5:15:55 PM): send the first one again...the email didnt have a pic in it
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:01 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:10 PM): That other pic is horrifble isn't it.
Namlessno1 (5:16:21 PM): havnt seen it yet
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:43 PM): Oh.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:16:52 PM): I sent it.
Namlessno1 (5:17:45 PM): OMG you have hair
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:17:52 PM): Yep.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:17:58 PM): Lol
Namlessno1 (5:18:03 PM): hold on brb
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:18:06 PM): Ok
Namlessno1 (5:19:07 PM): ok
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:23 PM): Did you get both of them?
Namlessno1 (5:19:28 PM): yeah
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:31 PM): Ok..
Namlessno1 (5:19:35 PM): I don't have hair anymore
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:19:53 PM): How short is it.
Namlessno1 (5:20:18 PM): shorter then you've ever seen it
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:27 PM): Poo =[
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:38 PM): I loved your hair.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:20:51 PM): But it doesn't matter anyway..you know
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:02 PM): You mean it's too short to even pull it?
Namlessno1 (5:21:14 PM): If I can find the cord for the camera I'll send you a pic
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:25 PM): Ok.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:21:48 PM): Can I ask you a favor?
Namlessno1 (5:22:54 PM): huh?
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:23:17 PM): Can you come over to see me tomorrow after school?
Namlessno1 (5:23:35 PM): Eh... I don't know if that would be a good idea
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:23:44 PM): Why...cuz of Cassie.
Namlessno1 (5:23:54 PM): That's one reason
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:24:04 PM): What's the other reasons.
Namlessno1 (5:25:22 PM): Well, because if my parents find out, I'll get violated for probation, and because things usually end up happening when I see you.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:25:39 PM): What do you mean things happen.
Namlessno1 (5:26:02 PM): Come on I know you failed and all but your not that slow
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:26:27 PM): Lol...but you're saying it'd be me doing things and not you right.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:26:43 PM): If I did something you'd allow me to do it...
Namlessno1 (5:27:05 PM): not anymore
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:17 PM): Exactly.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:24 PM): I wouldn't do anything.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:27:43 PM): Because I know you wouldn't do anything back so what's the point.
Namlessno1 (5:28:03 PM): That doesn't mean you wouldn't try...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:15 PM): Oh come on...
Namlessno1 (5:28:37 PM): Just think about what happend last time...
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:48 PM): What happened last time.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:28:55 PM): I don't remember.
Namlessno1 (5:29:07 PM): Oh I'm pretty sure you do
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:29:13 PM): I don't seriously.
Namlessno1 (5:31:57 PM): Well that's not the point. The point is, is that I've been in jail for a very long time. And though I might not want to in my mind, my body might not give a rats ass. And I'm about 95% sure that you would try anyway so it's not a good idea.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:32:22 PM): I wouldn't try anything!
Namlessno1 (5:32:48 PM): Then why is it you want me to come over
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:33:41 PM): Because I haven't seen you in forever and we stopped talking for a long ass time... I just wanted to catch up on things. Friends...you know.
Namlessno1 (5:34:20 PM): Well in case you haven't noticed, we're talking right now.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:34:34 PM): Yeah.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:34:49 PM): I know.
Namlessno1 (5:35:21 PM): I know about the dreams ya know.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:35:51 PM):
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:36:14 PM): Of course Aurora would tell you.
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:36:24 PM): God that's fucked up.
Namlessno1 (5:36:45 PM): So tell me again why it is that you want me to come over
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:02 PM): I miss you OKAY!
Namlessno1 (5:37:21 PM): I have to go to an appointment
Namlessno1 (5:37:25 PM): Ill be back later
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:31 PM): Ok..
Namlessno1 (5:37:41 PM): We'll talk more about this then
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:45 PM): Ok.
Namlessno1 (5:37:48 PM): bye
XxXKoRnXKidXxX (5:37:52 PM): Bye
Namlessno1 signed off at 5:37:55 PM.
Aurora was not suppose to fucking tell him about the dreams I had about him. I was just thinking about him a lot and I realized how much I miss him. I didn't want her to tell him that's fucked up. I'm so depressed... =[