whoa. havent been this depressed in a while
whoa. i dont think i have been this depressed since september. cant stand my mom. devin isnt talking to me.. so where do i go now.. no where. no where at all.. sitting around my house being absolutely bored. rebecca was over we hung out a little while.. we went to solo and ensemble. and we got a one.. we were suprised cause we werent all that good.. she squeaked a bit and i stopped at the end... i lost my place cause my mind was somewhere else.. i wasnt all that focused.. but we still came out on top.. nothing really to say.. except i want to talk to devin, but he doesent want to talk to me. i dont even know what i did.. like we were talking on thursday.. and he just signs off.. and he doesent get back on. didnt get the chance to talk to him friday.. and when i signed on today.. he didnt even talk to me.. he just signed off.. guess im not really a part of his life anymore.. im being cut off by everyone.. and i feel like shit.. wish i was in the shower.. cause then i can drown my problems and save myself.. but im afraid that my plan would reverse.. cause of some careless feeling i have.. i dont even think i can write much anymore.. its just not working for me anymore.. well gtg.. i think ill stick around before i go to sleep