BLASPHEMY!!!!
hm i dont know what was up with my subject. but i am so tired and i have a really bad headache and i dont feel very well.. i swear i could go off any second.. and i just might. i have to go to alabama today. and i dont come back until sunday. then i go home.. back to my cage.. is it so bad that i dont want to go home? thats no home. its just somewhere i sleep and get dressed.. and occasionally eat. my mom is ticking me off so bad.. i dont want to go back there where she can be in my face. and make me feel ashamed. is it so bad that i dont want to be hurt again... i cry every single day.. but this one week was so nice.. i didnt even understand why anyone could be so depressed.. even though yes i was in the beggining. and then i started to realize.. im not alone.. im not being bothered.. and for once i smiled cause i wanted to.. yesterday was the coolest. my sisters and i hung out.. and it was fun.. yes, believe it or not.. i had actually had fun.. i mean there are times when i hang out with people.. but... its not fun.. its just something that feels good for a little while... kinda like a drug.. but yesterday was... i dont know.. i was even happy after i got home.. weird.. i dont even know when i will feel like that again.. now u understand a little why i am so depressed all the time. despite the fact i put on my fake smile to amuse u... and make u feel that i am happy.. i dont understand how people can be so gullible.. believing me.. someone who only fakes happiness to get by. cause she hates questions.. ill go back to being hurt and scarred when i am home.... ill put on my fake little smile.. to make u people feel like u are doing ur job... when really there is nothing to be done.