Sudden Impact
hm there is just this sudden impact of feeling better. i had a dream some kid attacked me in the lunch room.. it was pretty interesting.. cause i just got back up and started walking again. hm it was also weird.. because he started to deteriate once i got back up. it was so funny.. then i woke up. it was ok. i didnt want to dream anymore any way. i find that i am sick of dreams and nightmares. they dont do anything for me. so i just seem nuetral.. the other night i had a dream that one of my friends in florida wanted me to make him pancakes.. and i burned myself.. and he told me it was fine. he didnt want me to really make them.. he just appreciated the fact that i tried.. that was interesting.. cause i woke up feeling really good. i wish other people were like that.. but no matter how hard i think im trying... people still want more from me. its like this is what i can give.. but everyone wants more. im gonna start recommending them to go watch television if they want fine happy and dandy.. hehe.. anyway im not depressed... but i still think i am a little sad.. so therefore i am ok.. but i need to explain something. devin gave me this metaphor of what he is to me.. i was a building and he was my structure.. and my friends i think were the things that make me appealing.. or something like that.. i dont know.. hm.. but anyway.. i told him that i would trade all my friends just to have him.. well i figure i should say this to explain something like that. Im sick of feeling all great and then feeling like crap.. so i just wanted to be at the bottom... hm explain more later.. just wanted a general idea... i miss devin.. and devin if u read this.. i hope u forgive me..